Goonhub
09-06-2014, 11:52 AM
Usual Character Name: Old Man Jenkins
BYOND Username: OMJenkins
Recommended by (if applicable): a large amount of people who's names I've since forgotten, i've been meaning to write this for months but the names that just came up when i asked if i should apply were walter poehl emmanuel evans john silva janel thomlinson
Times Available: 7pm onwards generally est
Reason for Application (300 word minimum):
How can I stretch out "I want a beret" into 300 words? Basically, I've been playing this two dimension spaceman simulator for years upon years upon years and it is time that I, old man jenkins take on the challenge of Head of Security. As head shitler I promise to sedate the lesser baton wielding shitlers and prevent unneeded greyshirt beatdowns. No sir, Old Man Jenkins is a nice man and will not stand for the beating of innocents.
As Head of Security, I promise to wear the garments with pride. I will become the greatest nerd micromanager of all time. I will defeat evildoers, praise gooddoers, pet dogs, hug Jones, promote the breeding of bees and laugh at clown jokes.
As Head of Security, I promise to look sharp at all times. Old Man Jenkins will turn youthful again after wearing fashionable toupees to go with the beret. The thermals will be polished, the shoes shined, the hair.....grown? Fuck I don't have hair in game fuck the hair
Jokes aside, I'm really enjoying the quote unquote "renaissance" that security has been going through recently and I want to be a part of that. I'm really enjoying how security is much more lenient now- but I still see some power tripping assholes. The other round I was held for about five to six minutes, robbed by an HoP, stripped naked and THEN jailed. I want to minimize that as much as possible. More liberal behavior coming from security guards should be exhibited (but not too liberal- if I see a rampager, he's dead no matter what happens) I've played for longer than I've should- I think it's time to start grooming new security guards to not be shit- my way of giving back in just a tiny way
Security Experience (300 word minimum):
I consider myself as one of the most experienced and tenured officers due to my longevity. Recently, however, I have been playing loads of detective. I enjoy detective as if it's played properly, it can apprehend multiple extremely clever traitor who just couldn't be asked to use gloves. The fingerprint scanner on the standard issue PDA has captured many a criminal- a simple run of the prints using the security records in the detective's VR area, then setting said evildoer to arrest. After which, I pocket the PDA and wait for the eventual message that Beepsky nabbed him- then comes a short interrogation process, after which I strip him of contraband and send him on his way.
I've detectived in other creative fashions however- I remember a round a LONG time ago (like pre cogmap) where a clown detective and myself discovered a dead body stuffed in the bar locker. Having decomposed, we figured out that by cutting out a fresh corpse's brain (procured the corpse from robotics who just made a cyborg) and inserting the decomposed body's brain, we were able to clone said "unclonable" player. He revealed an assistant beat the shit out of him with an extinguisher, and the clowntective and I searched for that gray scumbag for the rest of the round with no avail.
Another round had me interviewing a ghost by setting up two chairs next to each other. If he rotated the chair on the left, it would be a no, and the right chair would be a yes. Throughout a lengthy process I figured out his assassin was in research and managed to identify him and whether or not the dead mans body was destroyed (which it was, I believe. it was a while ago).
My strengths as an officer are my organizational skills. As captain during syndicate (or other rounds where a vast amount of threats were added due to shenanigans), I always kept security ready, armed and aware. The first time I lost a nuke round as a captain in my five or six years playing happened in 2014, where I got bumrushed by a robust agent.
The SOP for lings, vampires and agents are kill on sight. Rampagers are killed on sight if they're egregious with their behavior. Peaceful traitors, traitors who get caught REALLY early (unless they're violent) are just stripped of their bad guy weaponry and let go. Regular shitheads get a minute- two if they've killed someone but have no contraband on them.
In your opinion, what are the flaws and benefits of the current security layout (brig, cells, security room etc): Needs to be more stylish- also, the old fashioned cells right under the armory aren't used enough. Personally, I liked VR Brig but I think it could be expanded to the point where it'll be great (essentially by sprucing up the VR areas).
But that's a topic for another time
Previous bans: I used to be really awful around 2011 and I have a few bans from there on a different key (which I don't remember now). Procit perma'd me in a traitor round because he hated me. Ever since I've been unbanned, I have yet to have another offense.
Thanks for reading.
BYOND Username: OMJenkins
Recommended by (if applicable): a large amount of people who's names I've since forgotten, i've been meaning to write this for months but the names that just came up when i asked if i should apply were walter poehl emmanuel evans john silva janel thomlinson
Times Available: 7pm onwards generally est
Reason for Application (300 word minimum):
How can I stretch out "I want a beret" into 300 words? Basically, I've been playing this two dimension spaceman simulator for years upon years upon years and it is time that I, old man jenkins take on the challenge of Head of Security. As head shitler I promise to sedate the lesser baton wielding shitlers and prevent unneeded greyshirt beatdowns. No sir, Old Man Jenkins is a nice man and will not stand for the beating of innocents.
As Head of Security, I promise to wear the garments with pride. I will become the greatest nerd micromanager of all time. I will defeat evildoers, praise gooddoers, pet dogs, hug Jones, promote the breeding of bees and laugh at clown jokes.
As Head of Security, I promise to look sharp at all times. Old Man Jenkins will turn youthful again after wearing fashionable toupees to go with the beret. The thermals will be polished, the shoes shined, the hair.....grown? Fuck I don't have hair in game fuck the hair
Jokes aside, I'm really enjoying the quote unquote "renaissance" that security has been going through recently and I want to be a part of that. I'm really enjoying how security is much more lenient now- but I still see some power tripping assholes. The other round I was held for about five to six minutes, robbed by an HoP, stripped naked and THEN jailed. I want to minimize that as much as possible. More liberal behavior coming from security guards should be exhibited (but not too liberal- if I see a rampager, he's dead no matter what happens) I've played for longer than I've should- I think it's time to start grooming new security guards to not be shit- my way of giving back in just a tiny way
Security Experience (300 word minimum):
I consider myself as one of the most experienced and tenured officers due to my longevity. Recently, however, I have been playing loads of detective. I enjoy detective as if it's played properly, it can apprehend multiple extremely clever traitor who just couldn't be asked to use gloves. The fingerprint scanner on the standard issue PDA has captured many a criminal- a simple run of the prints using the security records in the detective's VR area, then setting said evildoer to arrest. After which, I pocket the PDA and wait for the eventual message that Beepsky nabbed him- then comes a short interrogation process, after which I strip him of contraband and send him on his way.
I've detectived in other creative fashions however- I remember a round a LONG time ago (like pre cogmap) where a clown detective and myself discovered a dead body stuffed in the bar locker. Having decomposed, we figured out that by cutting out a fresh corpse's brain (procured the corpse from robotics who just made a cyborg) and inserting the decomposed body's brain, we were able to clone said "unclonable" player. He revealed an assistant beat the shit out of him with an extinguisher, and the clowntective and I searched for that gray scumbag for the rest of the round with no avail.
Another round had me interviewing a ghost by setting up two chairs next to each other. If he rotated the chair on the left, it would be a no, and the right chair would be a yes. Throughout a lengthy process I figured out his assassin was in research and managed to identify him and whether or not the dead mans body was destroyed (which it was, I believe. it was a while ago).
My strengths as an officer are my organizational skills. As captain during syndicate (or other rounds where a vast amount of threats were added due to shenanigans), I always kept security ready, armed and aware. The first time I lost a nuke round as a captain in my five or six years playing happened in 2014, where I got bumrushed by a robust agent.
The SOP for lings, vampires and agents are kill on sight. Rampagers are killed on sight if they're egregious with their behavior. Peaceful traitors, traitors who get caught REALLY early (unless they're violent) are just stripped of their bad guy weaponry and let go. Regular shitheads get a minute- two if they've killed someone but have no contraband on them.
In your opinion, what are the flaws and benefits of the current security layout (brig, cells, security room etc): Needs to be more stylish- also, the old fashioned cells right under the armory aren't used enough. Personally, I liked VR Brig but I think it could be expanded to the point where it'll be great (essentially by sprucing up the VR areas).
But that's a topic for another time
Previous bans: I used to be really awful around 2011 and I have a few bans from there on a different key (which I don't remember now). Procit perma'd me in a traitor round because he hated me. Ever since I've been unbanned, I have yet to have another offense.
Thanks for reading.