Best moments ever thread 2.0

[BlackPhoenix]

I got the miscreant objective to be a snake oil salesman. Checked my bag, pill bottle of bath salts. Game on. I go to the market, but business is shit...then the captain comes up, and shouts that winners don't use drugs. I proceed to challenge him to a fight, me on drugs, him on none. He responds by breaking into my store. Taking this as an acceptance of the battle, I got drugged out of my brain on that sweet sweet bath salt...all 5 pills...and started decking the shit out of the captain. I knocked him down, kicked him shitless. After a pitched battle, he finally laid into me with a laser gun, executing me...but I was only in crit. Then I get a message. "Space King: BOOM". My corpse explodes into a mass of gibs all around the captain and the bystanders, leaving them mildly speechless.