Why do we still have the Printout?

[Klayboxx]

Once I was actually a traitor and it reported me as one. The caption decided to recite the printout over the radio and everyone ridiculed him. I felt so bad I didn't actually do any traitoring and instead just swigged moonshine and ran around the station humming with drunken energy, tailed by security yelling at me to stop and me slurring about how the law is always keeping the moonshine business down.

It was actually a neat round and without that goofy captain and that seemingly useless piece of paper it wouldn't have happened. Keep it, I say.