Goonhub
04-02-2014, 11:52 PM
This is a parody of most books that tell you how to do things. This is a guide to being a fun-hating asshole.
If you are not the AI, skip to step 3
Step 1: Find out almost directly after round start who the antagonists are, look for people spawning traitor gear or other things that show that they are an antagonist. (IF YOUR TARGET IS HUMAN-SKIP TO STEP 3)
Step 2: SHOCK EVERY LAST FUCKING DOOR AROUND YOUR TARGET. This will make sure that they can not escape, unless they are in a pod bay.
Step 3: Alert everyone to the presence of the antagonist, their location, name, type of antagonist and make sure it's noticeable.
Step 4: Kill the antagonist immediately, and make sure you let everyone know it was you, if they get mad at you for killing them before ten minutes...
Step 5: Gloat at them mercilesly with how much they suck, how they should never play, how you are a glorious hero.
Step 6: GIB THAT FUCKER GOOD! You don't want them having any fun, so gib them early so nobody clones them, borging is also a no-no, as that means they can still play!
Step 7: If by some fluke of nature your evil evil target is cloned, HUNT THEM DOWN WITH THE FORCE OF 1000 SUNS!
They could have fun! and we don't want that do we?
Now with my great help techniques, you can be a big asshole as well. If you do any of this after 12 minutes, you are no longer an asshole elite, and will have to redo your training. Good luck!
Seriously, if you kill an antagonist less than 10 minutes in, you are being rude and making the game boring, this has been a PSI by Dr. Thehman03, PHD, ESQ, TTYL, GG, FUBAR, SNAFU, HMS.
AWOL.
anyways, feel free to post your thoughts on the matter.
If you are not the AI, skip to step 3 Step 1: Find out almost directly after round start who the antagonists are, look for people spawning traitor gear or other things that show that they are an antagonist. (IF YOUR TARGET IS HUMAN-SKIP TO STEP 3)
Step 2: SHOCK EVERY LAST FUCKING DOOR AROUND YOUR TARGET. This will make sure that they can not escape, unless they are in a pod bay.
Step 3: Alert everyone to the presence of the antagonist, their location, name, type of antagonist and make sure it's noticeable.
Step 4: Kill the antagonist immediately, and make sure you let everyone know it was you, if they get mad at you for killing them before ten minutes...
Step 5: Gloat at them mercilesly with how much they suck, how they should never play, how you are a glorious hero.
Step 6: GIB THAT FUCKER GOOD! You don't want them having any fun, so gib them early so nobody clones them, borging is also a no-no, as that means they can still play!
Step 7: If by some fluke of nature your evil evil target is cloned, HUNT THEM DOWN WITH THE FORCE OF 1000 SUNS!
They could have fun! and we don't want that do we?Now with my great help techniques, you can be a big asshole as well. If you do any of this after 12 minutes, you are no longer an asshole elite, and will have to redo your training. Good luck!
Seriously, if you kill an antagonist less than 10 minutes in, you are being rude and making the game boring, this has been a PSI by Dr. Thehman03, PHD, ESQ, TTYL, GG, FUBAR, SNAFU, HMS.
AWOL.
anyways, feel free to post your thoughts on the matter.