Xenonia for Head of Security
#1
Usual Character Name: Herb Garden/Scraggly Joe
BYOND Username: Xenonia
Recommended by (if applicable): IRC
Times Available: ALL TIMES.

Reason for Application (300 word minimum): There are a number of reasons to apply for HoS: lust for power, desire to be space-batman, an insane fixation on killing staff assistants with an energy gun. None of these are my reasons. My premier reason, rather, is my desire to live out my dreams as a police chief, complaining about how I am getting too old for this shit, requesting officers turn in their gun and badge, that they are off the case, and informing them they are a loose cannon. However, I also want to be able to enforce the laws of this great station as only an HoS can: By getting extremely drunk on suicider, setting myself on fire with spicy spaghetti, and driving a segway out of the mass driver. In all seriousness though, I think I'd play it well due to generally being too lazy to leave and explore space, and the fact that I don't find myself of a particular "play to win" mentality. HoS is not vigilante supercop, I know, and I feel I can respect people's right to not be riot-shotgunned because I see them holding what may or may not be a sleepy-pen. Really, I'm applying because I feel that I'm sensible enough in general to play the role well and not be utter shit constantly. Really, isn't that the primary factor in BEING HoS? Not being a shitlord that abuses his privileges and acts like some kind of Pseudo-Stalin Space Dictator? I feel like it is. And I feel like I deserve this (semi-)prestigious responsibility, and that sweet-ass beret and suit combo that comes with the job. Not to mention the fact that I'm already a (relatively well known?) mentor and that's gotta count for something, right?

Security Experience (300 word minimum): In all honesty, I must admit that my security experience is a *tad bit* scant. I've played as sec on more than a few occasions, though, and have been drafted into the ranks of the boys in red multiple times. Generally, I think I play the part of officer well, arresting folks who commit crimes, and protecting the innocent scum of the station. I may have a small problem with alternative justice, though, which is to say my punishments as security aren't ALWAYS traditional: Examples include sentencing people to swirlies for smaller crimes, instead of brig time, and exiling them for larger ones (which is to say, shipping them off to the faint-signal station and leaving them to do whatever they do there). I can't really recall any MEMORABLE times of me as security, because when I am security, the rounds aren't all that exciting. Especially as latejoining sec after most criminals have been caught/killed/evacuated to the ice moon. I once organized an underground prison-fighting ring as a captain traitor, though. Does that count as security experience? Probably not, but I digress.

Anyway, I understand that my lack of memorability as sec may be a bit damaging to my application, but I believe that a lack of notability is better than the presence of notoriety. I'd rather be a good cop without a reputation than a bad one with a large reputation. Perhaps someday, Herb Garden (or Scraggly Joe, the idea of Hobo Cop is really starting to grow on me) will be as recognizable an HoS as the best of them.

In your opinion, what are the flaws and benefits of the current security layout (brig, cells, security room etc): Remove that window leading to the security delivery dock that looks into the brig. It makes it easier to escape.

Your opinion of Shrek (5 word minimum): Why did Shrek Forever After turn out so shoddy? They went ogre-budget.

Previous Bans (While this will not affect your application lying about it will): A couple of day bans.


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