Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Spy_Guy]

I was told to stage a suicide dramatic enough to draw a crowd. I decided to create the Reality Bomb v1 and test-fire it. Results were spectacular and extremely satisfying.

Jenny Antonsson [145.9] exclaims, "ACTIVATIN' REALITY BOMB!"
Jenny Antonsson exclaims, "ACTIVATIN' REALITY BOMB!"
*beep* *beep*
*beep* *beep*
Radio/Igniter/Beaker Assembly catches on fire!
Radio/Igniter/Beaker Assembly melts.

Oh Fuck
Spoiler!

Banana Nababa screams!
Robutt screams!
Aaric screams!
The blue acidic substance stings, but isn't concentrated enough to harm you!
You feel more piratey! Arr!
Powder screams!
Tracking Beacon catches on fire!
Tracking Beacon melts.
LISP screams!
Balin screams!
Alhsom screams!
Test Chamber Recorder catches on fire!
Test Chamber Recorder melts.
Paper Bin catches on fire!
Paper Bin melts.
the pen catches on fire!
the pen melts.
Syringes (Biohazard Alert) catches on fire!
Syringes (Biohazard Alert) melts.
Latex Gloves catches on fire!
Latex Gloves melts.
Dropper catches on fire!
Dropper melts.
the red marker catches on fire!
the red marker melts.
Mr. Fisting screams!
the clipboard catches on fire!
the clipboard melts.
the pen catches on fire!
the pen melts.
Health Analyzer catches on fire!
Health Analyzer melts.
the emergency gas mask catches on fire!
the emergency gas mask melts.
Sunglasses catches on fire!
Sunglasses melts.
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
Hair bursts forth from every follicle on your head!
the gas mask catches on fire!
the gas mask melts.
Remote Signaling Device catches on fire!
Remote Signaling Device melts.
Captain Unknown's left leg flies off in a bloody arc!
LISP's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!
LISP's left leg flies off in a bloody arc!
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
... You can almost hear something ...
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
Captain Unknown's left leg melts.
Captain Unknown's right leg melts.
... You can almost hear something ...
... You can almost hear something ...
the metal melts.
Captain Unknown's right arm melts.
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
... You can almost hear something ...
... You can almost hear something ...
Captain Unknown's right arm melts.
Captain Unknown's left arm melts.
Captain Unknown's right arm melts.
Captain Unknown's left arm melts.
Captain Unknown's right leg melts.
Captain Unknown's left leg melts.
the metal melts.
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
Captain Unknown's left arm melts.
Captain Unknown's left leg melts.
Captain Eddrick's left leg melts.
Captain Eddrick's right arm melts.
Captain Ashtin's left leg melts.
Captain Ashtin's left arm melts.
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
Captain Unknown's right leg melts.
Captain Unknown's right arm melts.
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache melts.
the fake moustache melts.
Captain Unknown's right arm melts.
Captain Unknown's left leg melts.
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache melts.
Captain Jenny Antonsson's left arm melts.
Captain Unknown's right arm melts.
Captain Unknown's left arm melts.
Captain Unknown's right leg melts.
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache melts.
Captain Jenny Antonsson's right arm melts.
Captain Jenny Antonsson's right leg melts.
Captain Unknown's left leg melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
the rods melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
the rods melts.
the crystal shard melts.
the rods melts.
The substance violently detonates!
The substance violently detonates!
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
the metal melts.
The blue acidic substance stings, but isn't concentrated enough to harm you!
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
the crystal shard catches on fire!
the crystal shard melts.
the very r wall melts!
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Captain Jenny Antonsson explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Medical Eyepatch catches on fire!
Medical Eyepatch melts.
the fake moustache catches on fire!
the fake moustache melts.
Cyborg Zeta-85 [145.9] states, "Humans were harmed"
Cyborg Zeta-85 states, "Humans were harmed"
the metal melts.
Lia Alliman's right leg melts.
Lia Alliman's left arm melts.
Lia Alliman explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!
SoapGirl earned the Rookie Thief medal.
Cyborg Zeta-85 states, "I heard human screams"
Robert McBobbert's left arm melts.
Unknown screams!
Unknown explodes in a shower of gibs, hair and piracy!

Firewall V13.09 states, "Warning.....no human survivors detected."

He was not quite right.

Survivor tales:

Firewall V13.09 queries, "Lizzy, what happened?"
Lizzy Jerquad (as Unknown) says, "Alright it started smoking"
Lizzy Jerquad (as Unknown) says, "Rainbow smoke"
Lizzy Jerquad (as Unknown) says, "Than everyone exploded into moustaches"

Malfunctioning Unit states, "UNIT UNDERSTANDS"
Malfunctioning Unit states, "REALITY BOMB TURNED THEM INTO PIRATES"
Malfunctioning Unit states, "WITH MUSTACHES, EYEPATCHES AND. PIRACY"

Cyborg Zeta-85 states, "We need to clone them as well"
Malfunctioning Unit states, "ueaj"s
Malfunctioning Unit states, "theres nothing to clone"
Lizzy Jerquad says, "God damn"
Firewall V13.09 states, "Zeta, there's noting left. NOTHING."

Lizzy Jerquad says, "That reality bomb"
Lizzy Jerquad says, "Was beautiful..."
Korey Humberland asks, "Whats a reality bomb?"
Malfunctioning Unit states, "it melted the thought to be impenetrable crystal walls."

My favourite feature is that unprotected individuals have their identities deleted along with the rest of them. Hopefully v2 will correct this to include everyone affected.