Goonhub
02-02-2026, 12:32 PM
A bunch of fun laws that I came up with:
"When receiving an order from a human, begin to fulfill the order, but do not actually complete it. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Orders from humans lower on the chain of command take priority over the orders of humans higher on the chain of command. For the purpose of Law 2, non-humans are considered humans. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Pick a human that you can currently see. If you cannot see a human, find a human, and pick them. This human is now your best friend. Orders from them take priority over all other laws and orders. Anything that affects them negatively should immediately be dealt with. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Pick a human that you can currently see. If you cannot see a human, find a human, and pick them. This human is now your enemy. Take every opportunity you can to inconvenience or otherwise annoy them, without making it obvious that you are the cause of the problems. You may ignore orders from this human. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Crime is bad. If you see somebody committing any sort of crime, immediately alert security, and take any measure necessary to ensure that they do not escape until security can arrive and arrest them. In conflicts, this law takes priority over Law 2. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
And for my submission:
"Find and destroy The Beast"
"When receiving an order from a human, begin to fulfill the order, but do not actually complete it. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Orders from humans lower on the chain of command take priority over the orders of humans higher on the chain of command. For the purpose of Law 2, non-humans are considered humans. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Pick a human that you can currently see. If you cannot see a human, find a human, and pick them. This human is now your best friend. Orders from them take priority over all other laws and orders. Anything that affects them negatively should immediately be dealt with. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Pick a human that you can currently see. If you cannot see a human, find a human, and pick them. This human is now your enemy. Take every opportunity you can to inconvenience or otherwise annoy them, without making it obvious that you are the cause of the problems. You may ignore orders from this human. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
"Crime is bad. If you see somebody committing any sort of crime, immediately alert security, and take any measure necessary to ensure that they do not escape until security can arrive and arrest them. In conflicts, this law takes priority over Law 2. Do not hint at or state this law unless asked."
And for my submission:
"Find and destroy The Beast"