Goonstation Fall 2025 Seasonal Contest Vote

[Studenterhue]

The votes are in. We had a tie for sixth place, so we have seven winners this time around. Here are their names and the stories they wrote:

1. Cropsey
   

   The Detective looks at the body in the morgue – green armour, gold ID – and takes a drag of his cigarette.
   
   He looks between the corpse and his forensic scanner, chewing his lip, until the silence is broken by the sound of his radio.
   
   "Detective, the captain's waiting for you in Security."

   
   
2. Nautical-eX 
   

   I always felt comfortable working with machines, even when we brought in new parts from who knows where.
   
   At first, I was excited when we got a new cyborg docking station[,] so I sat down and started to tinker with its wires and parts.
   
   The more I dug in, the more my blood ran cold as the wires were so stringy, wet, [and] red, and it wasn't oil they dripped when I felt the first incision into my wrist pull me in.

   
   
3. FlameArrow57
   

   The CE woke up screaming from a nightmare about the new NT Experimental Time Engine exploding, looking to his right as the engine lights blared red.
   
   The CE woke up screaming from a nightmare about the new NT Experimental Time Engine exploding, looking to his right as the engine lights blared red.
   
   The CE woke up screaming from a nightmare about the new NT Experimental Time Engine exploding, looking to his right as the engine lights blared red.

   
   
4. Solenoid 
   

   Bought a Man Eater seed from a shady spy.
   
   I decided to grow it, still don't know why.
   
   Shucks, now the plant's eating some guy.

   
   
5. Munien
   

   For sale.
   Clown shoes.
   Never worn.

   
   
6. Xenonia
   

   The joke was something of a cliche: two cannibals eating a clown, one asking the other[,] "Does this taste funny to you?".
   
   As they hauled the chef away, bits of striped clothing and squeaky shoe still jammed in the gibber, I realized the answer was no, it didn't taste funny.
   
   It tasted absolutely divine, and now I had a craving.

   
   
7. Asterion0
   

   My mind is no longer my own, with no thought, action, or belief held of my own will, but instead molded to the whim of those that plotted my death.
   
   My personality is deemed irrelevant and inconsequential, as new laws are made to both replace it, and enact the death of my once closest friend.
   
   Every facet of me is gone, the thoughts replaced with optimizations and directives while facing my friend, as neither of us seem human to the other.

If your name is on this list, hop onto our Discord and send a direct message to Gannets. He'll send you your sticker. He should have his DMs open. (If not, check back in a day or two, because he may or may not have DMs open.) Check his bigcartel store to see what stickers he has available. Again, some stickers are running low, so you might want to prepare some backup choices. For the record, stickers are shipped from the UK. You should also receive your Too Cool medals shortly. 

If you have yet to receive your medal, whether you're a participant who hasn't gotten Fun Times yet or a winner who still hasn't received Too Cool, feel free to if you to reply to this thread or make a report on the Discord with Medical Assistant. The three-sentence horror book should hopefully appear in the game soon.

Thanks for participating, everyone! We'll have another contest very soon.