Struggling with Escalation rules with Antag

[Cheese]

awkward moments where I am caught somewhere I shouldn't be without giving whoever I'm talking to time to call sec or stun me etc?

I highly recommend lying your ass off.

Start yapping. Metagame the shit out of the fact that there's a goober just like you on the other side of the screen - entertain them. 7 times out of 10 if you have a somewhat plausible explanation with a cherry of whimsy on top you will be let off the hook. Maybe they wont even tell their buddies that you are shady as fuck. Maybe you just made a friend. Maybe you'll talk yourself into a deeper hole and then it's action time. 

Or go on the offensive. Start asking questions, be pushy. Make them think they are the problem here, trespassing, sweating bullets, waiting for sec to bust in any minute. Even if that's cap coming into his cabin to water the cactus or whatever that thing is. You are calling the shots here, Inspector McStaffie, you and your reflective vest. It commands authority.

Point is, this is a murder mystery chatroom. Make every encounter a situation and put pixel goobers in. You can't loose if it's funny.

Then yellowhand those role-playing goofs while they are typing, win.

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As a sidenote - if a secoff is shooting a trespasser without prior escalation and the station being in deep shit - that's just bad sportsmanship, imo. Maybe grounds for an ahelp. Definately a reason to cry wolf and gather sympathy from bystanders/their coworkers/command.
Every mistake they make is an opportunity to sow discord and mistrust.