Goonhub
10-05-2024, 05:41 PM
I know I wrote the original post, but there I was also speaking on behalf of the team. Speaking only on behalf of myself, Zamujasa often treated me like shit whenever we disagreed on something. She'd mock me, make passive aggressive jabs at me, and refuse to communicate sincerely with me. Like, legit the "cyberbully on Twitter telling you 'maybe this is why you have no friends'" type stuff. I put up with it because I thought that was just what I had to do and that I should just try to be more understanding and a better person and that things would change.
My desire to "be the better person" has very much also been influenced by how Zamu was severely mistreated and wronged in the past. If you were here in early 2020, you may recall how a bunch admins left, after trying to (and temporarily succeeding in) remove Zamu from the team. Long story short, the instigating admin, Azungar, was a transphobe and a bigot and really wanted Zamu gone. He tried to hide his motivations under the guise of "I just genuinely care so much about you all and the community and Zamu just consistently makes life miserable for everyone else" and I, personally, nearly bought it. I hope you can see how that'd affect us, Zamu especially, and contribute to my deep ambivalence about this all. But, just because you've been deeply hurt doesn't mean it's right for you to keep hurting others.
My desire to "be the better person" has very much also been influenced by how Zamu was severely mistreated and wronged in the past. If you were here in early 2020, you may recall how a bunch admins left, after trying to (and temporarily succeeding in) remove Zamu from the team. Long story short, the instigating admin, Azungar, was a transphobe and a bigot and really wanted Zamu gone. He tried to hide his motivations under the guise of "I just genuinely care so much about you all and the community and Zamu just consistently makes life miserable for everyone else" and I, personally, nearly bought it. I hope you can see how that'd affect us, Zamu especially, and contribute to my deep ambivalence about this all. But, just because you've been deeply hurt doesn't mean it's right for you to keep hurting others.