Complaint Zamujasa

[Jillith]

cliffs notes of just how we got here:
jillith talks about the current round in #rp-chat.
i say "if this is current round stuff, do not discuss it".
jillith says that since it's maybe about a bug, it's not actually the current round.
i say, no, it still is, don't do this.
jillith continues to debate me.
i time out jillith for ten minutes.

can i ask why you are like this? what makes you different from the other admin who responded to me in good faith? why are you drilling me over the single most inconsequential thing i have ever been drilled over, using this absurdly technically incorrect interpretation of a rule against me, and where do you even find the energy to be this way? yes in hindsight i do wish it had occurred to me to just ahelp for clarification in the first place, but come the fuck on. this is not a constructive way to enforce a rule and is certainly not helping anyone to enjoy this game

and i hate how this dumb escalation shit is how you default to handling criticism "no you're wrong shut up or i'll do more to hurt you" is really how it has gone every time. i've kind of felt like a forum is not a great format for airing minor grievances but it's the place i keep being directed to if i dare to press any issue, so now i guess it's all finally contained here where you can all safely ignore it

this behavior pattern on the whole is why i'm unwilling to forgive even the first thing on the list, which everyone seems to just kind of skirt around. from the very first fucking time i ahelped a rule-breaking behavior i'm issued a languid "fuck you you ain't no angel!" and i still have every reason to be livid about it. it was okay this one time because it happened to me in response to something i did. no. fuck you. that kind of flippancy is toxic and not how you treat anyone, ever, especially not someone who you know to have abandonment issues, who is actually trying their damnedest to adjust to the community you've just brought them into. and the most frustrating part is that you still don't believe you did any wrong by me

for fuck's sake i even posted the character bio that led to this exact situation beforehand, in a place where you can't possibly have missed it, and you had nothing to say about it until after the shit had hit the fan. but i guess that one's on me for actually believing you had any fucks to give about anything, ever

i chose removing you from the round, because i was already in the process of dealing with the other person.

you also chose removing them from the round already, so like, i get that part. what i don't get is why the first lightning strike on me didn't entirely kill me, because that was the point where it occurred to me "that was admin intervention and my dumb ass shouldn't have quoted them". that was sufficient. it was only after i made a snarky (but not rule-breaking, as far as i can tell?!) in-character remark that i was hit again and fully removed from the round. was this a perceived second offense or what? just wanted to shut me up for shits and giggles?

either way, i really don't see why this approach is okay. like yeah, the timing of it was mildly funny the first time, to the point where i thought it was part of some character bit, (specifically: a fresh cyborg who was so entrenched in masculinity that they exploded in confusion) and that's ultimately why it was so confusing. in this game people die in a lot of strange ways a lot of the time. to integrate punishments into gameplay like that so abruptly is just not making an example of them as much as leaving people bewildered as to what actually happened

by all means punish people as soon as they fuck up before saying a word if you feel the need to, but don't blame them if they think you're doing it just to be an asshole. actions don't merely speak louder than words, they have a way of drowning them out. it is painfully ironic that you call special attention to the "if an admin tells you to stop doing something, stop doing it" when actually using your words and simply telling someone to stop is decidedly not satisfactory to you