A serious discussion about the state of monkeys

[Mirodir]

player monkeys are technically a mutant race.

They're specifically, by name, excluded from being a mutant race by the wiki, https://wiki.ss13.co/Human. As I already said, don't go around hunting monkeys for your own entertainment. But it does make monkey life a tad more dangerous when AI/Cyborgs don't have to make sure they don't accidentally harm you and can ignore your orders at their own whim.

I've certainly seen rounds with no geneticist present, leading to an even more awkward situation where you bunker down in front of their lab in the hopes of someone turning you into a monkey so you can start playing.

AI can do this job remotely and has to follow your orders by law 2. The AI player would have to be a huge killjoy to disallow you entrance to the gene lab for this based on you not having any business in there. It's not like you're asking to be let into some Command office.