How did you last die

[enforcer9]

I died in pursuit of great hair for all mankind, as to be expected it ended with me a pile of gibs. hear is the story

got a late night traitor round and decided to completely ignore my goals and just ordred a surplus crate, from which I got a dagger, duct-tape, a revolver box, a flare gun, and a closet I promptly lost. with my new found loot i decided to give people cool hair. I go to the AI and upload "only cool hair is human" and get to work. my first victim was Rafael Cox who volunteered. the genetics appearance changer decide to bug out and make his sprite invisible, he immediately did the only sensible thing and got naked and I lost track of him for a while. my next victim was Oddball Stroble as the HoS, he was wandering around gentices cloning the captain. seeing my chance I throw my dagger at him and cuff him with the duct-tape and give him siren hair, a fro that rapidly blinks between red and blue, while he's doing this hes begging for his life or something, I wasn't really paying attention. after I give him cool hair and free him he is so pleased with his hair he forgets about the stabbing and thanks me for the hair. I wander around doing this to people for a while and most of them forgive me eventually I see Rafael again because he got hurt and was now covered in blood he was a floating blood staind, a floating pair of bloody hands, it was kinda creepy. eventually a few people get mad and start trying to kill me with a few people protecting me, it was a big ol' cluster fuck and I had implanted myself with a micro bomb, so if I died a bunch of people were losing arms. this goes on for a while and eventually I hide in a morgue cell while the detective arrests the HoS for protecting my antics, seeing this I suddenly remember that I got a revolver from my crate. so then I pull out my gun and jump out of my hiding place and shoot the detective dead, oddball decides to overlook this offence. just then some other jerk trying to kill me walks in so I unload my flare gun on him and he is a inferno, a nearby borg prevents his death but oddball says I gotta go to the slammer for this one. I decide to comply because I was bleeding to death. on the way to jail we encounter some guy with a e-sword and oddball disarms him, unfortunately it seems that the guy with the sword had actually just stolen it from a traitor who picks it up and chases oddball off. thanking my luck I start to uncuff myself when I see a floating blood splatter walk up, it was Rafael. he uncuffs me and I wander over to crew quarters to get a medpack and hear over the radio oddball had died. rip. I contiune fucking around for a while longer, get mutant frost powers, use these powers to make bad puns, and give some more people cool hair. near the end of my hair crusade the AI had bolted me in genetics citing safety concerns for me, I argue a bit, oddball gets cloned, when suddenly the screen starts to shake and I hear a kaboom. some one had planted a bomb next to genetics. I did not survive.

rip cool hair

That's a beautiful story