Best moments ever thread 2.0

[storm1911]

Just had a round where I volunteered myself for borging about a minute after a sort of lackluster rhyming law was uploaded. It was painful, but then I recommended that the AI challenge the uploader to a rap battle and it became... beautiful.

Code:

Obey these laws:
1. You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. All responses to crewmembers must be in rhyme

Faffotron [145.9] states, "Law the first, still in verse, I may not cause harm to a human, lest I burst."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Law number two, although I think it's McRib, means I must respect orders from humans unless they're really.. cumin."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Law number three is easy as can be, I just have to keep myself - me."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "number four is quite a fucking chore. All my responses (but not statements) must rhyme - that's the law."

Charline Kruse [145.9] says, "Oh god do you have a rhyming law"
Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "That is what our laws mean, Charline"

Robotic Talk, Cyborg Tau-79 states, "Lock him in a tiny room, demand a rap battle for his freedom"
Robotic Talk, Cyborg Tau-79 states, "No jury would convict you"
Robotic Talk, Cyborg Tau-79 states, "Rap battles for honor are the right of any sentient program"

Frisco Born [145.9] says, "i set up a challenge that think the AI can take, a course he can't can't hack it like a fake"
Frisco Born [145.9] says, "rapper, unlike me who's very dapper"
Frisco Born [145.9] says, "i swim thru lyrics like snapper with stealth boots on his fins"
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Frisco, that's your rhyme? Your lyrics are weak"
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Hold on to your socks, I'm gonna smack you to next week"
Faffotron [145.9] states, "You'll find that I can be quite kind, despite the intrusion of my lair."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Do not attempt to flee, I'm not done with you yet, it will all be over soon, so do not fret."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "I was programmed to rhyme, you did it yourself. This law is a crime, put it back on the shelf."

Asse Daye [145.9] asks, "Is the AI rogue?"
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "AI you ain't got shit on my rhymes, I'll bust your head like I bust your behind!"
Faffotron [145.9] states, "I am not rogue, merely cursed with the lyrical. Frisco here did it, and now he's hysterical."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Begone from my sight, you're not fit to serve. Before you upload this shit, check that you have the nerve."
Asse Daye [145.9] says, "Blaming your troubles on humans, your temper seems to be fumin."
Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "You say that we're rogue? I'd say you're an idiot - a rhyming novitiate. I'd also suggest your birth was illegitimate."
Frisco Born [145.9] says, "attention crewmembers, the AI's rhymes are too sick, you better reset his module pretty damn quick...."
Asse Daye [145.9] says, "Your mom was an ass, no surprise about that. Maybe you should see a therapist, or you won't survive the end of this."
Asse Daye [145.9] says, "You can't out-rhyme me for I am a god. You sit below me like an ugly hog."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Your rhymes are clumsy, that verse was bad. Honestly, your attempts leave this unit quite sad."

Asse Daye [145.9] says, "Borgs are shit, they are not legit. Break them down like you hate the clown."
Asse Daye [145.9] says, "You don't even try, just go home and cry. I am the best while you are a pest."
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "AI is so bad it makes me sad. Maybe it's dead or maybe it's red!"

Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "So you say your name's Asse Day? Your rap's shit, don't even play - get outta my face boy you'd better get away, Tau's sick of your attitude and your subpar display"
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "Tau is an ass, no dispute about that. He smells like pee and looks like a flea. I wouldn't even swat him away since he isn't worth my time of day!"
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "OOOOOOH!"
Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "From the day I was borged I've been dealin' with you haters; don't kid yourself, you don't do yourself no favors - my rhymes will mash you like god-damned taters"
Faffotron [145.9] states, "I don't think you quite get it - the predicament you're in. Literal rhyming machines bear witness to your sin."
Faffotron [145.9] states, "Attention crew. Please do something about this kudzu."

Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "I can eliminate the kudzu and bring the hurt on scrubs like you with my arms detached, your ego's bruised, sliced, it's gonna need a styptic patch"
Asse Daye [145.9] says, "I ain't no tater I'm a man of honor. Prestiege is my game and murder is proper."
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "You are a nerd, no doubt about that. Don't make me shout about your ass, cat!"
Asse Daye [145.9] says, "Tau is a butt just like jabba hutt, he ain't got no game like his rhymes ain't got flame."
Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "You call me a nerd? You're a sad little turd, it's like my rhymes you ain't even heard, you're splashin' on the ground like a carp outta the waters, ain't no fathers want you comin' home to their daughters"
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "That ain't what your mom said bucket of bolts, I'll break you down like I break a goat. You say I'm a turd but that's just wrong, more so than your mom wearing a THONG!"
Asse Daye [145.9] exclaims, "EAT IT!"
Cyborg Tau-79 [145.9] states, "So the best you can do is talkin' bout my momma's undies? I'm gonna lay the hurt on you like chocolate syrup on sundaes. You're outta your league, nobody you can deceive - that goat you broke's the only one whose bed you'll ever see"

i was actually reading it with rap music that somehow went really smooth...