Add a table-mounted defibrillator to the security department

[virvatuli]

As a weird possible alternative or addition to solve the issue OP presented, how about voltagen autoinjectors? Very low doses so they won't do much besides shock you a bit, but that shock might just be what you need.

Problem with voltagen is that it arc-flashes to others around you when in the bloodstream. Utterly hilarious but maybe not as useful as a defib!