Goonhub
07-11-2013, 11:58 AM
I was an assistant during an extended round, and I was getting myself set up in the barbershop. Cogwerks had been making random people traitors in charge of making somewhat illegal business (two sec officers ran protection/weapon smuggling rackets, one engineer had to weaponize the engine, etc.) After adminhelping over if it'd be OK to cut guy's arms off if they couldn't pay for the haircut, I was made into a traitor with the objective "Become a literal arms dealer."
I went to work hiring some goons; Kevin Kevinson, the owner of a failed boxing club who asked for way too much money, and Discount Dan, who tragically died a few minutes later playing Russian roulette. I also made friends with a lawyer, Izahiah Murry, who helped save our lives later in the day, and Hank Hill, an arms smuggling sec officer who also brought us Bort Slater, a savage cave man who trapped people in ice cubes and brought them in for haircuts.
With a full team, I was ready for business. At 500 credits a cut, my haircuts were premium, but it was well worth it. Customers would roll in, I would buckle them down to the barber chair, swipe their ID to find out if they could pay the full fee, and if they couldn't, I had Kevin knock them unconscious so I could cut off their arms. After a public arms-chopping, our business was starting to attract attention from the popo.
Devin Jowers, another crooked cop running a protection racket came by and asked to talk business. He wanted big muscle for a deal he was working on, and while I left to take a guy who just lost his arms but was still alive down to Medbay, Izahiah, Kevin, Hank and Devin kept talking. I come back to taser shots, and find Kevin and Devin stunning and cuffing Izahiah and Hank. Before I can grab my baton, Devin tases me and cuffs me to my chair.
Bort runs back in with another ice cube customer, and we start screaming for help. He sacrifices himself trying to attack Devin, and doing so + Devin's rant about us not surviving his "stand up" (it's a stick up) gives all three of us enough time to uncuff ourselves, stun the guys with our weapons, and put them on my operating tables. Devin screams about us being small time and that he was going to own the station before we knock him unconscious and I cut off his limbs. Kevin, who kept waking up, keeps me from finishing his surgery for a while, yelling that he'll give us his bank number and tries to stop us from killing him. I swipe his ID card into the credit transferer, and find only 450.
Not enough for a haircut.
I cut off his arms and legs, and while Hank and Izahiah cheer that the forces of good won again, I let one guy was stuck to the table in the back room go, as well as someone who was trapped in one of Bort's ice cubes. I stuff a crate full of the arms I had cut during the day, left Devin and Kevin's corpses on the front tables as a reminder of our heroics, and headed over to the shuttle, yelling about my fresh arms for sale. Me and I think Hank ended up being the only traitors to survive and make it on the shuttle.
also throughout the whole thing with Kevin and Devin dotty the cyborg said they were a poop face non-stop
I went to work hiring some goons; Kevin Kevinson, the owner of a failed boxing club who asked for way too much money, and Discount Dan, who tragically died a few minutes later playing Russian roulette. I also made friends with a lawyer, Izahiah Murry, who helped save our lives later in the day, and Hank Hill, an arms smuggling sec officer who also brought us Bort Slater, a savage cave man who trapped people in ice cubes and brought them in for haircuts.
With a full team, I was ready for business. At 500 credits a cut, my haircuts were premium, but it was well worth it. Customers would roll in, I would buckle them down to the barber chair, swipe their ID to find out if they could pay the full fee, and if they couldn't, I had Kevin knock them unconscious so I could cut off their arms. After a public arms-chopping, our business was starting to attract attention from the popo.
Devin Jowers, another crooked cop running a protection racket came by and asked to talk business. He wanted big muscle for a deal he was working on, and while I left to take a guy who just lost his arms but was still alive down to Medbay, Izahiah, Kevin, Hank and Devin kept talking. I come back to taser shots, and find Kevin and Devin stunning and cuffing Izahiah and Hank. Before I can grab my baton, Devin tases me and cuffs me to my chair.
Bort runs back in with another ice cube customer, and we start screaming for help. He sacrifices himself trying to attack Devin, and doing so + Devin's rant about us not surviving his "stand up" (it's a stick up) gives all three of us enough time to uncuff ourselves, stun the guys with our weapons, and put them on my operating tables. Devin screams about us being small time and that he was going to own the station before we knock him unconscious and I cut off his limbs. Kevin, who kept waking up, keeps me from finishing his surgery for a while, yelling that he'll give us his bank number and tries to stop us from killing him. I swipe his ID card into the credit transferer, and find only 450.
Not enough for a haircut.
I cut off his arms and legs, and while Hank and Izahiah cheer that the forces of good won again, I let one guy was stuck to the table in the back room go, as well as someone who was trapped in one of Bort's ice cubes. I stuff a crate full of the arms I had cut during the day, left Devin and Kevin's corpses on the front tables as a reminder of our heroics, and headed over to the shuttle, yelling about my fresh arms for sale. Me and I think Hank ended up being the only traitors to survive and make it on the shuttle.
also throughout the whole thing with Kevin and Devin dotty the cyborg said they were a poop face non-stop