Goonhub
12-30-2017, 08:12 PM
This one is an old story, but a damn good one. Settle in, clowns.
Way back when, in my early-ish days of clowning, when I was learning to be robust, we had an event that an admin or two ran (I cannot remember any names of anyone who was in this round). Before the round started, there was an announcement about the syndicate buying the station, and it had gotten a makeover, and all staff were now syndicates. Upon roundstart, the entire station was painted as red as the admins could get it before the round started. All windows were red, most doors, space, some glass, etc.
I joined as a clown, and this was back when I had random appearance on. I had a big white beard, so I named myself 'santa clown'. After clowning around for a while, the syndicate announced they had bought some equipment for the crew, and there were about 30 sets of red space suits in the chapel suddenly. I swung by and grabbed one, obviously. The entire round, the QM's had been spending all their money on paint crates, then painting everything with the red paint cans, and dumping the rest on the floor of cargo. The PTL had been turned on quite powerfully and routinely shoved back into cargo to allow more paint.
I walked past QM to steal some paint, looking to cause chaos. A QM ran out and hit me with a rainbow paint can, which, by some bizarre twist of fate, turned me blue. We both paused, on this station completely painted red, looking at me, a blue clown. He then screamed "NanoTrasen spy!" and ran back into cargo. I decided to walk around, which incited more yells of being an NT agent, and me running away before anything could happen. Eventually, both the AI and the syndicate themself announced my existance. The syndicate said I had to be caught.
And hence the chaos began. Every other person I saw would chase me yelling something about NT. I deftly started slipping people left and right with my banana peel and sometimes a sneaky pie to the face. At some point, the station itself was hacked by the syndicate to attack me, and electrical devices started shocking me (at first they put me into crit near-instantly, but I was revived using admin magic sheer determination) which would stun for a short time. While fending off a syndicate wielding a c saber, I realized the lightning bolts would aim for me, but hit the first thing in the way, so I started using the syndicate station to attack the syndicates themself. (shortly after the bolts stopped attacking me)
After a decent amount of time robusting everyone, there was an announcement that the PTL had been converted to a syndicate laser to blow up centcom, and the syndicates had to make sure it stayed on. I realized it was my role as a not-so-secret agent for NT that I had to disable the laser. I rushed over with tools in hand to break in and shut off the PTL, only to be met by multiple syndicate agents guarding the place. Every door was welded and shocked (i had stolen insulated gloves however), and upon entering the area I was met with a barrage of phaser shots, it seemed the syndicate mechanics had been handing them out. I managed to slip an eager syndicate who chased after me and take two phasers, then ran off to recharge them. I re-entered the engine area, and let loose two phasers worth of shots. I did not intend to hit them, clowns are non-violent of course, but the warning shots were enough to scare most of them back a bit.
I was left with 2 syndicate agents in the way of the PTL, and countless engine hazards past them. One of these agents was the one with the c saber who'd been pissed all round with me slipping him and embarrassingly throwing the saber back to him as I run off. The other was just an op with a shit-ton of phasers. I got rid of the phaser guy by slipping him, throwing him out of the room, and welding the door shut again. Just the guy with the saber left. We stared at eachother for a while, then rushed. I threw a pie, followed by a banana peel, which he just barely avoided. I dodged and duked his saber, which he put away to switch to some phasers. I tripped on my shoes and all the shots flew over me as I recovered. He switched back to the saber. I pulled out my spare banana peel, not having used it until then. I threw it as he rushed me with the saber out, and he tripped. He let out a cry of "Fuck!" as I took it from him, and victoriously putting my pie back in my funny pack.
He expected death, and resigned to his fate. I waited. And waited. He asked what I was waiting for, and I replied: "drama" and threw the saber to the ground and rushed past him to the PTL, welding the door again behind me. He saluted once, then scooped up his saber and retreated. I pushed forward through the burning heat of the engine, and triumphantly switched off the PTL. I retreated away to recover and recharge, just in case. Not long after, the PTL was turned back on, and I knew that I would be unable to simply turn it off again. I switched to the much more dangerous tactic of jamming the PTL with lockers. While putting a locker in the PTL, the saber agent discovered me. We once again had an epic battle involving much attempted use of the saber and much slipping. In the end, he got the advantage, I was injured and lying on the floor, and accepted my fate. I had served NanoTrasen well, and lived a good life. The agent lifted his saber, then threw it directly into the PTL. We both felt the effects of the engine's heat, and both faded in and out of consciousness. While I was out, he dissapeared. I was slowly killed by the heat, unable to escape. The syndicate laser was left on, with no one to contest the destruction of centcom. The syndicate were sent home, their mission complete. Upon arrival at syndicate command (which was of course an exact copy of centcom cause fuck NT), they celebrated the victory, and no one was left to mourn the clown that tried to save NanoTrasen.
Way back when, in my early-ish days of clowning, when I was learning to be robust, we had an event that an admin or two ran (I cannot remember any names of anyone who was in this round). Before the round started, there was an announcement about the syndicate buying the station, and it had gotten a makeover, and all staff were now syndicates. Upon roundstart, the entire station was painted as red as the admins could get it before the round started. All windows were red, most doors, space, some glass, etc.
I joined as a clown, and this was back when I had random appearance on. I had a big white beard, so I named myself 'santa clown'. After clowning around for a while, the syndicate announced they had bought some equipment for the crew, and there were about 30 sets of red space suits in the chapel suddenly. I swung by and grabbed one, obviously. The entire round, the QM's had been spending all their money on paint crates, then painting everything with the red paint cans, and dumping the rest on the floor of cargo. The PTL had been turned on quite powerfully and routinely shoved back into cargo to allow more paint.
I walked past QM to steal some paint, looking to cause chaos. A QM ran out and hit me with a rainbow paint can, which, by some bizarre twist of fate, turned me blue. We both paused, on this station completely painted red, looking at me, a blue clown. He then screamed "NanoTrasen spy!" and ran back into cargo. I decided to walk around, which incited more yells of being an NT agent, and me running away before anything could happen. Eventually, both the AI and the syndicate themself announced my existance. The syndicate said I had to be caught.
And hence the chaos began. Every other person I saw would chase me yelling something about NT. I deftly started slipping people left and right with my banana peel and sometimes a sneaky pie to the face. At some point, the station itself was hacked by the syndicate to attack me, and electrical devices started shocking me (at first they put me into crit near-instantly, but I was revived using admin magic sheer determination) which would stun for a short time. While fending off a syndicate wielding a c saber, I realized the lightning bolts would aim for me, but hit the first thing in the way, so I started using the syndicate station to attack the syndicates themself. (shortly after the bolts stopped attacking me)
After a decent amount of time robusting everyone, there was an announcement that the PTL had been converted to a syndicate laser to blow up centcom, and the syndicates had to make sure it stayed on. I realized it was my role as a not-so-secret agent for NT that I had to disable the laser. I rushed over with tools in hand to break in and shut off the PTL, only to be met by multiple syndicate agents guarding the place. Every door was welded and shocked (i had stolen insulated gloves however), and upon entering the area I was met with a barrage of phaser shots, it seemed the syndicate mechanics had been handing them out. I managed to slip an eager syndicate who chased after me and take two phasers, then ran off to recharge them. I re-entered the engine area, and let loose two phasers worth of shots. I did not intend to hit them, clowns are non-violent of course, but the warning shots were enough to scare most of them back a bit.
I was left with 2 syndicate agents in the way of the PTL, and countless engine hazards past them. One of these agents was the one with the c saber who'd been pissed all round with me slipping him and embarrassingly throwing the saber back to him as I run off. The other was just an op with a shit-ton of phasers. I got rid of the phaser guy by slipping him, throwing him out of the room, and welding the door shut again. Just the guy with the saber left. We stared at eachother for a while, then rushed. I threw a pie, followed by a banana peel, which he just barely avoided. I dodged and duked his saber, which he put away to switch to some phasers. I tripped on my shoes and all the shots flew over me as I recovered. He switched back to the saber. I pulled out my spare banana peel, not having used it until then. I threw it as he rushed me with the saber out, and he tripped. He let out a cry of "Fuck!" as I took it from him, and victoriously putting my pie back in my funny pack.
He expected death, and resigned to his fate. I waited. And waited. He asked what I was waiting for, and I replied: "drama" and threw the saber to the ground and rushed past him to the PTL, welding the door again behind me. He saluted once, then scooped up his saber and retreated. I pushed forward through the burning heat of the engine, and triumphantly switched off the PTL. I retreated away to recover and recharge, just in case. Not long after, the PTL was turned back on, and I knew that I would be unable to simply turn it off again. I switched to the much more dangerous tactic of jamming the PTL with lockers. While putting a locker in the PTL, the saber agent discovered me. We once again had an epic battle involving much attempted use of the saber and much slipping. In the end, he got the advantage, I was injured and lying on the floor, and accepted my fate. I had served NanoTrasen well, and lived a good life. The agent lifted his saber, then threw it directly into the PTL. We both felt the effects of the engine's heat, and both faded in and out of consciousness. While I was out, he dissapeared. I was slowly killed by the heat, unable to escape. The syndicate laser was left on, with no one to contest the destruction of centcom. The syndicate were sent home, their mission complete. Upon arrival at syndicate command (which was of course an exact copy of centcom cause fuck NT), they celebrated the victory, and no one was left to mourn the clown that tried to save NanoTrasen.