Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Klayboxx]

So I was enthralled at the very beginning of a round by a vampire HoP, who gave me all access and the orders to be the worst cop ever. I'm already terrible, so I accepted. What follows are the logs from this round, nix some because I lost some of the log due to SPACE.

Code:

Chef Buttes sighs.
James Smith says, "I believe that this punishment is quite severe for such a small mistake"
Chef Buttes says, "James. I'm sorry but it's written in black and white right there"
James Smith asks, "Do I not have rights on this station?"
Chef Buttes asks, "Oh did you want a jurry?"
Chef Buttes says, "I'll go get one"

-I go dress up as someone else but really badly on purpose-

Chef Buttes (as Smoke Hirleman) says, "UH"
Chef Buttes (as Smoke Hirleman) says, "IM SMOKE HIRLEMAN"
Chef Buttes (as Smoke Hirleman) says, "AND UH"
Chef Buttes (as Smoke Hirleman) exclaims, "HE SHOULD TOTALLY DIE!"
James Smith exclaims, "I want to see the head of security!"
Chef Buttes says, "Doesn't look good, James."
James Smith exclaims, "This is cruel and unusual punishment!"
Chef Buttes says, "Smoke Hirleman didn't like the look of you"
Chef Buttes asks, "Are you prepared to meet your maker?"
You unbuckle James Smith.
James Smith says, "I demand to see soo the captain"

-I give him his goodbye swirly-

Chef Buttes has grabbed James Smith passively!
James Smith attempts to remove the handcuffs!
You give James Smith a swirlie. It's like Middle School all over again!
You give James Smith a swirlie. It's like Middle School all over again!
You give James Smith a swirlie. It's like Middle School all over again!

-I send the dirty crime rat into space-

James Smith attempts to remove the handcuffs!
Chef Buttes says, "goodbye."
James Smith exclaims, "help!"
Chef Buttes has grabbed James Smith passively!
Chef Buttes has grabbed James Smith aggressively (now hands)!
Chef Buttes throws James Smith.

-I spot a new victim-

Chef Buttes says, "Taylor"
Chef Buttes says, "Please come help me"
Taylor Charles says, "ya"
Taylor Charles says, "who"
Chef Buttes says, "I need help"
Chef Buttes says, "I'm a cop"
Taylor Charles says, "k"
Taylor Charles has added the crowbar to the backpack!
You show off your card:  Chef Buttes's ID Card (Security Officer): assignment: Security Officer
You show off your card:  Chef Buttes's ID Card (Security Officer): assignment: Security Officer

-OPPORTUNITY STRIKES, SOME POOR SAP IS BEING ARRESTED BY OL'HARNER!-

Kyle London says, "HELP"
Kyle London says, "CAPTAIN"
Kyle London says, "HEP"
Kyle London says, "A robot is CHASING ME"
Annie Direction asks, "What?"
Kyle London says, "DONT LET HIM"
Kyle London says, "HURT ME"
Ol' Harner is trying to put handcuffs on Kyle London!
Kyle London says, "AHHH"

-I dismiss the loose ends-

Chef Buttes says, "Nevermind Taylor"
Kyle London says, "HELP"
Ol' Harner beeps, "One riot, one ranger."
Chef Buttes says, "Captain"
Kyle London says, "GET IT AWAY”

-I jump on my chance!-

Chef Buttes says, "I witnessed him do crime"
Kyle London says, "WHO"
Chef Buttes says, "I'll brig him for the correct time"
Annie Direction asks, "Who?"
Kyle London says, "ME/"
Chef Buttes points to Kyle London
Kyle London says, "WHAT DID I DO"
Kyle London says, "WAIT"
Annie Direction asks, "What crime?"
Kyle London says, "CAP"
Kyle London says, "I DIDNT DO ANYTHING"
Kyle London says, "If I did Why would I come here"
Chef Buttes says, "You vandalized the station. I saw you on the cameras."
Kyle London says, "What"
Kyle London says, "ARe you"
Kyle London says, "Whjat"
Annie Direction asks, "Cutting cables?"
Kyle London says, "What"
Chef Buttes says, "Yup."
Kyle London says, "No"
Kyle London says, "WAIT"
Kyle London says, "I DIDNT DO THAT"
Kyle London says, "AND TAHTS MY JOB"
Kyle London says, "But ID DITN DO THAT"
Annie Direction says, "Honestly no need"
Annie Direction says, "Just"
Chef Buttes says, "No, I saw you vandalizing. You can stay in there for two minutes."
Kyle London says, "Cap"
Kyle London says, "I didnt do it"
Annie Direction says, "Fix the cables, regardless of if you did it"
Kyle London says, "Well"
Annie Direction asks, "Alright?"
Kyle London says, "IF the police man shows me"
Chef Buttes says, "I will allow him to after his brig sentence is up."
Kyle London says, "where the cables are at"
Kyle London says, "Cap"
Annie Direction says, "North part of the station I think"
Kyle London says, "He cant even point out where they are"
Kyle London says, "Let me out now and i'll fix them"
Chef Buttes says, "Captain, do not worry about this low lot. I'll get him out on time."
Annie Direction says, "It's petty crime"
Chef Buttes says, "Yes, thats why he is in here for two mintes."
Kyle London says, "HE OBVIOUSLY IS A LING"
Chef Buttes says, "minutes"
Chef Buttes says, "Sir, I am loyalty implanted. That can't happen."
Annie Direction says, "Just let him fix the damn thing"
Chef Buttes sighs.
Kyle London says, "Check his blood"
Kyle London says, "AND LET ME OUT"
Chef Buttes says, "Captain, you wouldn't understand the intricate workings of security."
Annie Direction says, "I suppose not"
Kyle London says, "Captain he is back talking yoy"
Chef Buttes nods.
Annie Direction says, "Whatever! Do as you wish I guess."
Kyle London says, "And CAP I DIDNT FREAKING"
Kyle London says, "HES A LING"
Chef Buttes says, "So don't worry - go do your captainly duties."
Kyle London says, "FOR GODS SAKE"
Chef Buttes says, "I am not a ling."
Kyle London attempts to remove the handcuffs!
Chef Buttes says, "I'll let you check"
The baton is now on.

-This is where it gets funny-

Kyle London says, "Then you are VERY shit at security"
Kyle London says, "BECAUSE I DIDNT DO ANYTHING"
Chef Buttes says, "Do not break those cuffs"
Kyle London has been stunned with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Kyle London stammers, "I  wwiillll    bbrrreeeeaaaakkk  tthessee  ccuuuffffffss"
Kyle London [145.9] stammers, "OOOWWWWWW"
Kyle London stammers, "OOOWWWWWW"
Kyle London [145.9] stammers, "AABUSE"
Kyle London stammers, "AABUSE"
Kyle London [145.9] stammers, "AAABBBUUSSSeeee"
Kyle London stammers, "AAABBBUUSSSeeee"
You buckle in Kyle London.
The baton is now off.
The baton is now on.
Kyle London stammers, "AAWWWWWWWWW   SSSHHIITTT"
Kyle London stammers, "YYOU  DDDDOO   NNOOTT  WWAANNNNAAUUCCKKKLLLEECCUUFFFFF  MEEE"
Chef Buttes says, "I'm going to search you."
Chef Buttes is trying to put Stun Baton on Kyle London
Chef Buttes is trying to put Stun Baton on Kyle London
Chef Buttes is trying to put Stun Baton on Kyle London
Kyle London stammers, "hhee  lllaaassttt tttimmmeeee  ssoomeeoonnee  bbuuckklleecuuffffeeeeddd  mmee"
Kyle London says, "MAecho maen"
Kyle London says, "showed up"
Chef Buttes says, "nice gun."
Kyle London says, "Yea"
Kyle London says, "Ask the Captain"
Kyle London says, "He let me HAVE IT"
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
Chef Buttes says, "I doubt that."
Kyle London says, "CAP"
Chef Buttes points to Engineer Headset
You unbuckle Kyle London.
Kyle London says, "THATS AGAINST MY RIGHTs"
You buckle in Kyle London.
Annie Direction [145.9] stammers, "MMEEEDDDIAALL"
Kyle London says, "GO HELP THE CAPTAIN"
Kyle London says, "IN MEDICAL"
Chef Buttes says, "no"
Kyle London says, "HE NEEDS HLEP"
Kyle London says, "FUCK"
Chef Buttes says, "We are busy."

-I made a paper that said Security Handbook!, all it said in it is 'All crime is punishable by death-

Chef Buttes says, "Read that paper in front of you."
Chef Buttes asks, "Do you understand what you've done wrong?"
Chef Buttes exclaims, "DO YOU?!"
Kyle London says, "Except"
Chef Buttes says, "YOU HAD AN ENERGY WEAPON ON PERSON"
Kyle London says, "I ddint do that"
Kyle London says, "Ask the captain"
Chef Buttes says, "I know you didn't"
Kyle London says, "If Its mine"
Chef Buttes says, "But I caught you with a gun"
Kyle London says, "ASK HIM IF HE GAVE ME IT"
Kyle London says, "ASK HIM IF HE GAVE ME IF"
Chef Buttes says, "A capital offense."
Chef Buttes points to the paper- 'Security Handbook!'
Chef Buttes exclaims, "And that!"
Chef Buttes says, "Is what I'm going to follow."
Chef Buttes says, "It's my life blood."
Chef Buttes asks, "Are you prepared to meet your maker?"
Kyle London says, "Right, that IS against the rules of the universe ya know"
Chef Buttes says, "No, no."
Chef Buttes says, "I am the universe."
You unbuckle Kyle London.
Chef Buttes asks, "Are you prepared to meet your maker?"
Kyle London says, "Wow, you are the shittiest sec ever"
Chef Buttes asks, "No last words?"
Chef Buttes asks, "no pleading?"
Chef Buttes laughs.
Chef Buttes says, "Well"

-The kicker-

Kyle London says, "Nah, I'll just adminhelp it"
Chef Buttes says, "May you burn in hell."
-Into space he goes-
Chef Buttes has grabbed Kyle London passively!
Chef Buttes has failed to grab Kyle London aggressively!
Kyle London attempts to remove the handcuffs!
Chef Buttes salutes.
Chef Buttes has grabbed Kyle London passively!
Chef Buttes throws Kyle London.
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
you set the output to stun.
you set the output to laser.
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
Chef Buttes says, "Taylor"
Chef Buttes says, "Taylor"
Chef Buttes says, "I need your help now"
Chef Buttes says, "come help me with this wiring”

-I lead him into security to serve justice-

Taylor Charles has been shot pointblank with the taser gun by Chef Buttes!
Taylor Charles is hit by the energy bolt!
You have added the taser gun to the backpack.
Chef Buttes is trying to take off the Engineer Headset from Taylor Charles's ears!
Taylor Charles stammers, "wwhhat    tthhe  hhhelll"
Chef Buttes is trying to put a handcuffs on Taylor Charles
Chef Buttes says, "You are under arrest."
Taylor Charles stammers, "ffoorrwhhhhaaaat!!??"
Chef Buttes says, "For ruining the wiring."
You place Engineer Headset into the the disposal unit.
You place Engineer Headset into the the disposal unit.
You buckle in Taylor Charles.
Taylor Charles says, "that was lenun"
Chef Buttes says, "no, it was you."
Chef Buttes asks, "Now, do you understand how serious of a crime that is?"
Taylor Charles says, "yes"
Chef Buttes says, "Read that paper."
Chef Buttes asks, "Do you see the brevity of the situation?"
Taylor Charles says, "all crime is death"
Chef Buttes says, "You've thrown your life away"
Chef Buttes says, "Just because you wanted some FUN with the wiring."
Chef Buttes says, "Well."
Chef Buttes says, "Now satan will have fun with you"
Chef Buttes sighs.
Chef Buttes says, "This is the worst part of my job."
You unbuckle Taylor Charles.
Chef Buttes shakes.
-He didn't talk much, so into space he went-
Chef Buttes has grabbed Taylor Charles passively!-
Chef Buttes throws Taylor Charles.

-A smart chaplain decided to see if I was a vampire, he was sooooo close-

Sturdy Stan splashes the beaker's contents onto Chef Buttes!
You feel somewhat purified... but mostly just wet.

-I find another victim-

Tof Fugel has been stunned with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Tof Fugel stammers, "i  CCCCheff"
Tof Fugel screams!
Chef Buttes is trying to put a handcuffs on Tof Fugel
Chef Buttes says, "You're under arrest."
Tof Fugel stammers, "CCChhheeff   whyyyyyyyy!"
Tof Fugel cries.
Chef Buttes is trying to put Gas Tank (Oxygen) on Tof Fugel
Tof Fugel stammers, "WWhhaat   ddiiid  II  ddonee—ddiiidddddlllly--dooo"

-I take him into the brig-

Tof Fugel says, "So... how's life"
You buckle in Tof Fugel.
Chef Buttes says, "do you know what you've done."
Tof Fugel says, "I tried to beat up a vampire as far as I know"
Chef Buttes says, "Don't play dumb Tof"
Chef Buttes says, "DONT PLAY DUMB"
Tof Fugel screams!
Chef Buttes says, "You know vampires are a myth."
Tof Fugel says, "B-b-but it was flashing my eyes and started sucking the blood of another officer"
Chef Buttes exclaims, "Do I need to BEAT the TRUTH out of you?!"
The baton is now off.
Tof Fugel cries.
Chef Buttes says, "Lets hear the truth"
Tof Fugel says, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY"
Chef Buttes says, "THE TRUTH"
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the groin with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been knocked down!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes says, "THE TRUTH DAMNIT"
Tof Fugel says, "FINE YOU WANT THE TRUTH"
Tof Fugel says, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH"
Chef Buttes sighs.
Chef Buttes points to the paper- 'Security Handbook!'
Chef Buttes says, "I live by that handbook."
Tof Fugel says, "oh god"
Tof Fugel says, "it's been stamped"
Tof Fugel says, "it means it's super-seRIOUS"
Chef Buttes says, "I didn't want to have to do this to you, but I don't see your case"
Chef Buttes says, "All I see is your crimes."
Tof Fugel says, "What are my crimes"
Chef Buttes says, "Wearing yellow"
Chef Buttes says, "It's super tacky"
Tof Fugel says, "It's actually a weird green, sir"
Chef Buttes squints.
Chef Buttes says, "Hm"
Tof Fugel says, "Last time I checked, mistaking a colour is also a CRIME."
Chef Buttes says, "nio"
Chef Buttes says, "NO"
Chef Buttes says, "NO"
Tof Fugel says, "Yes. Nanotrasen can't afford yellow"
Chef Buttes says, "IT IS YELLOW"
Chef Buttes screams!
Tof Fugel says, "they just mix red and green."
Chef Buttes says, "BUt"
Chef Buttes points to the floor
Chef Buttes says, "THATS YELLO"
Tof Fugel says, "NOTHING HERE IS YELLOW."
Chef Buttes throws the taser gun.
Chef Buttes says, "THATS YELLOW"
Tof Fugel shakes.
Chef Buttes says, "YOU KNOW WHATS NOT YELLO"
Tof Fugel says, "Poor Chef Buttes"
Tof Fugel screams!

-I shoot lasers menacingly around him-

Chef Buttes says, "THESE AREN'T YELLOW"
Tof Fugel says, "THEY AREN'T"
Chef Buttes says, "DON'T PLAY THESE GAMES WITH ME"
Tof Fugel asks, "ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING FROM ME?"
Tof Fugel says, "YOU'RE THE REAL CREEMEENAL HERE"
Chef Buttes exclaims, "ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING FROM ME?!"
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
Chef Buttes sobs.
Chef Buttes says, "NO"
Chef Buttes says, "YOU ARE"
You have added the taser gun to the backpack.
Tof Fugel says, "YES."
Tof Fugel says, "SON. PUT DOWN THE BATON."
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the chest with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes says, "NO"
Chef Buttes says, "IM NOT YOUR FATHER"
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the chest with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes screams!
Tof Fugel says, "I WAS NEVER PROUD OF YOU, SON"
Chef Buttes says, "YOU'VE BROKEN THE LAW"
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the chest with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes says, "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME DAD"
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the chest with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Tof Fugel says, "YOU AND YOUR NON-YELLOW BATON"
Chef Buttes twitches.
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the chest with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been knocked down!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes screams!
Tof Fugel screams!
Chef Buttes attacks Tof Fugel in the left hand with Stun Baton!
Tof Fugel has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
You hear muffled speech... but nothing is there...
Tof Fugel says, "I WOULD HUG YOU"
You unbuckle Tof Fugel.
Tof Fugel says, "YOU HAVE ME IN CUFFS"
Chef Buttes says, "BECAUSE YOU ARE A CRIMINAL"
Chef Buttes has grabbed Tof Fugel passively!
You give Tof Fugel a swirlie. It's like Middle School all over again!
You give Tof Fugel a swirlie. It's like Middle School all over again!
Tof Fugel says, "I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"
Chef Buttes says, "I LOVE YOU DAD"
Tof Fugel has been shot pointblank with the energy gun by Chef Buttes!
Tof Fugel is hit by the laser!
Tof Fugel has been shot pointblank with the energy gun by Chef Buttes!
Tof Fugel is hit by the laser!
Tof Fugel has been shot pointblank with the energy gun by Chef Buttes!
Tof Fugel is hit by the laser!

You look closely at Tof Fugel.
*---------*
This is  Tof Fugel!
Tof Fugel is wearing a bloody   Engineering Jumpsuit!
Tof Fugel is  handcuffed!
Tof Fugel has a bloody   armor on!
Tof Fugel has a  welding helmet on his head.
Tof Fugel has a  Breath Mask on his face.
Tof Fugel has a  energy gun on his belt.
Tof Fugel has  insulated gloves on his hands.
Tof Fugel has a  Gas Tank (Air Mix) on his back.
Tof Fugel is wearing  Tof Fugel's ID Card (Engineer).
Tof Fugel looks severely injured!
Tof Fugel doesn't seem to be responding to anything around him, his eyes closed as though asleep.
*---------*

Tof Fugel seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
Chef Buttes sobs.
Chef Buttes says, "I love you"
You hear muffled speech... but nothing is there...
Chef Buttes cries.

-I toss the poor guy into space-

Chef Buttes has grabbed Tof Fugel passively!
Chef Buttes throws Tof Fugel.
Chef Buttes has grabbed Tof Fugel passively!
Chef Buttes throws Tof Fugel.
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
The baton is now on.
The baton is now off.

-This next dude was braindead in medbay, so I let the sadness out on him-

Chef Buttes attacks Korey Humberland in the chest with Stun Baton!
Korey Humberland has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes says, "HEY"
Chef Buttes says, "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST"
Chef Buttes attacks Brad Boot (as Korey Humberland) in the chest with Stun Baton!
Brad Boot (as Korey Humberland) has been stunned!
Brad Boot (as Korey Humberland) has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Burt Monroe [145.9] asks, "Wh-what's going on in medbay?"
Chef Buttes has grabbed Brad Boot (as Korey Humberland) passively!
Chef Buttes throws Brad Boot (as Korey Humberland).
Burt Monroe [145.9] asks, "Just a power failure, right?"
Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "Yeah"
Chef Buttes says, "Yeah"
Burt Monroe [145.9] asks, "RIGHT?"

-A cyborg somehow knows my secret!-

Cyborg Lambda-50 states, "HEY"
Chef Buttes says, "hi"
Cyborg Lambda-50 states, "WANT A SWIRLIE"
Chef Buttes says, "n-no"
Cyborg Lambda-50 states, "you sure”

-I shoot at him with a taser shot, not knowing it doesn't stun borgs anymore. Oh well-

You have added the taser gun to the backpack.
Cyborg Lambda-50 declares, "HES COMING FOR ME!"
Chef Buttes says, "yes"
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
synthesized voice states, "beep beep beep"
Burt Monroe says, "Are you sure you aren't just paranoid..."
synthesized voice states, "beep beep beep"
Chef Buttes says, "No I shot at him"
Chef Buttes laughs.
Burt Monroe says, "After all, you were a bit... off... as a human."
Chef Buttes asks, "Seen any criminal activites?"
Cyborg Lambda-50 states, "I WOULD WELD THAT DOOR"
Chef Buttes says, "It's a bit quiet"
Alert: The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Chef Buttes says, "I'm a security guard"
You show off your card:  Chef Buttes's ID Card (Security Officer): assignment: Security Officer
Cyborg Lambda-50 states, "CHEF WILL SWIRLIE YOU AND SPACE YOU I SEEN IT"
Burt Monroe says, "Not at all, sir. Just me and this guy here."
Chef Buttes asks, "What?"
Cyborg Lambda-50 states, "SAY BURT RUN HE WILL KILL YOU"
Burt Monroe says, "Ignore him."
Chef Buttes says, "I am"
Chef Buttes says, "He's kinda nuts, I guess."

-I leave medbay, fearing for my life. I come across Donny Polish on the way back to the brig, and my downfall-

The baton is now on.
Donny Polish has been stunned with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish stammers, "AAw"
Donny Polish has been stunned with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes is trying to put Stun Baton on Donny Polish
Donny Polish stammers, "MMMaannn"
Chef Buttes says, "YOURE UNDER ARREST"
Donny Polish stammers, "Lett   bbe guessss"
Chef Buttes is trying to put a handcuffs on Donny Polish
Donny Polish stammers, "Miinnddsllaavve??"
Chef Buttes says, "what"
Donny Polish stammers, "OOr  ssppyy?"
Chef Buttes says, "You're just a criminal"
Donny Polish says, "Knew it"
Chef Buttes says, "You broke in"
Donny Polish says, "No"
Donny Polish says, "Was given the Id card"
Chef Buttes says, "Thats not your ID"
You have added the handcuffs to the backpack.

-I make it back to the brig with him-

Donny Polish says, "Why are you arresting me anyway"
Chef Buttes says, "You broke in"
Donny Polish says, "Hey"
Chef Buttes says, "hi"
Donny Polish says, "What about your ID"
Donny Polish says, "Seems like you took the HoP's"
Chef Buttes says, "what do you mean"
Chef Buttes says, "No"
You show off your card:  Chef Buttes's ID Card (Security Officer): assignment: Security Officer
Donny Polish says, "Have access to everything"
Chef Buttes says, "Well"
Donny Polish says, "See"
You buckle in Donny Polish.
Chef Buttes says, "Me and the HoP have a good relationship"
Donny Polish says, "No"
Donny Polish asks, "Hes just a horrible HoP who gave you the access right?"
Chef Buttes says, "And he mandated that I make sure this station is crime free."
Chef Buttes points to the paper- 'Security Handbook!'
Chef Buttes says, "I must follow these rules."
Chef Buttes says, "Notice the stamp."
Donny Polish says, "Thats agaisn't space law"
Chef Buttes says, "I don't think so."
Donny Polish says, "I read space law left to right"
Chef Buttes says, "It was mandated by the HoP"
Chef Buttes says, "Well Donny, that's an updated copy"
Chef Buttes says, "I saw the HoP print it out"
Donny Polish says, "HoP doesn't have access to change the space laws"
Donny Polish says, "You mean copied it"
Chef Buttes says, "Donny you are terribly wrong my friend."
Donny Polish says, "with a printer"
BrAInless [145.9] declares, "Double murder in pathology!"
Cyborg Lambda-50 [145.9] states, "EH HEM"
Chef Buttes says, "I'm sorry but I have to follow these rules and regulations"
BrAInless [145.9] states, "They are using chainsaws"
Chef Buttes says, "There is a lot of them"
Chef Buttes says, "Almost too many to count, but I gotta do it."
Chef Buttes says, "And it mandates that uh, lets see here."
Chef Buttes says, "Artical 3 section 42..."
Chef Buttes says, "Ah, yes."
Chef Buttes says, "You must die for your sins."
The baton is now off.
Donny Polish says, "Security are spys"
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the chest with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish says, "Knew it"
Donny Polish says, "Oh well"

-DAT FUKKEN BORG COMES IN-

Donny Polish says, "BOIRG SAVE ME"
Chef Buttes waves.
Donny Polish says, "SEUCIRTY ARE SPYS”ff
You have added the taser gun to the backpack.

-I whip out my laser gun that I took from one of my victims and hit him once before he locks himself into the HoS's office-
*---------*
This is  Cyborg Lambda-50!
The cover is closed.
The power cell display reads: 66%
Cyborg Lambda-50 has a Standard module installed.
*---------*
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Gas Tank (Oxygen)
You have added Gas Tank (Oxygen) to the backpack.

-I go and grab Donny as a barganing tool-

Donny Polish manages to remove the handcuffs!
You unbuckle Donny Polish.

-THE SUCKER GETS HIS CUFFS OFF AS SOON AS I GET BACK-

Donny Polish tries to disarm Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish tries to disarm Chef Buttes!
*click* *click*
You have added the energy gun to the backpack.
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been knocked unconscious!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Cyborg Lambda-50 [145.9] states, "CHEF BUTTES WILL SWIRLIE YOU AND SPACE YOU BEWARE"

-I show the jerk what I'm doing to his poor human-

Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Stun Baton
the reinforced window has been hit by Chef Buttes with Stun Baton
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Cyborg Lambda-50 spins in circles, flailing its arms and farting wildly!

-On that note, the borg runs off in a hurry for some reason-

Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes has grabbed Donny Polish passively!
Chef Buttes throws Donny Polish.
Donny Polish tries to disarm Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish stammers, "FFIIINNNEE  SSPPAACCCEE MMEEE"
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes gasps.
You open the tank valve.
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Donny Polish in the head with Stun Baton!
Donny Polish has been knocked unconscious!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
You close the tank release valve.
You look closely at Donny Polish.
*---------*
This is  Donny Polish!
Donny Polish is wearing a  Grey Jumpsuit.
Donny Polish has a  welding helmet on his head.
Donny Polish has a  gas mask on his face.
Donny Polish has a  utility belt on his belt.
Donny Polish has a  backpack on his back.
Donny Polish is wearing  Donny Polish's ID Card (Staff Assistant).
Donny Polish looks severely injured!
*---------*

-I couldn't get my internals to work, so I go into the bridge where there is air and suddenly there are two men in space suits in there, crap!-

Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish stammers, "HHEELLPP"
Donny Polish stammers, "TTRRAAAAIITTORRR"
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish stammers, "TTRAIIITTOORRR"
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Amusing Duck honks, "quacky"
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Wesley Stalin attacks Chef Buttes in the chest with the creepy gadget!
You have been protected from a hit to the chest.
Donny Polish has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
The Emergency Shuttle has docked with the station! You have 3 minutes to board the Emergency Shuttle.
Donny Polish says, "TRAITOR"
Chef Buttes attacks Annie Direction in the head with Stun Baton!
Annie Direction has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Donny Polish points to Chef Buttes
Chef Buttes has been prodded with the stun baton by Wesley Stalin! Luckily it was off.
Chef Buttes attacks Wesley Stalin in the head with Stun Baton!
Wesley Stalin has been knocked unconscious!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Wesley Stalin in the head with Stun Baton!
Wesley Stalin has been knocked unconscious!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Annie Direction shakes Wesley Stalin trying to wake Wesley Stalin up!

-For some reason I think Annie was my Vampire Master, but later realize I was wrong, shit-

Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "Annie, sorry."
Chef Buttes says, "Annie, sorry."
Annie Direction shakes Wesley Stalin trying to wake Wesley Stalin up!
Annie Direction shakes Wesley Stalin trying to wake Wesley Stalin up!
Donny Polish says, "TELL THE AI TO BOLT ESCAPE"
Chef Buttes attacks Annie Direction in the head with Stun Baton!
Annie Direction has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Annie Direction in the head with Stun Baton!
Annie Direction has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Annie Direction in the head with Stun Baton!
Annie Direction has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Wesley Stalin has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes attacks Annie Direction in the head with Stun Baton!
Annie Direction has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!
Annie Direction has been beaten with the stun baton by Chef Buttes!

-MY FATAL MISTAKE!-

Jones has been hit by Chef Buttes with Stun Baton
Jones hisses at Chef Buttes!
Jones pounces on Chef Buttes!
Jones pounces on Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes punches Jones!
Jones hisses at Chef Buttes!
Jones pounces on Chef Buttes!
Chef Buttes punches Jones!
Jones hisses at Chef Buttes!
Jones pounces on Chef Buttes!
the reinforced window has been hit by Donny Polish with the weldingtool
Jones pounces on Chef Buttes!
the reinforced window has been hit by Donny Polish with the weldingtool
You begin to recover.
Jones bites Chef Buttes!
the reinforced window has been hit by Donny Polish with the weldingtool
Jones bites Chef Buttes!

-I climb into the locker for saftey, forgetting mobs are terribly broken!-

It's welded shut!
Donny Polish:  YESS!!!
It's welded shut!
Wesley Stalin:  YES!
Alert: 2 authorizations needed until shuttle is launched early
It's welded shut!
It's welded shut!
Annie Direction:  I got him!
It's welded shut!
It's welded shut!
Donny Polish:  GO JONES
It's welded shut!
It's welded shut!
Donny Polish:  EAT CHEF BUTTES
Wesley Stalin:  sa YEs.
Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "fuck jones :("
Chef Buttes says, "fuck jones :("
Wesley Stalin:  Oh my god.
Annie Direction:  Jones you saved us!!

-I admit Jones's skill-

Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "jones is pro"
Chef Buttes says, "jones is pro"
Donny Polish:  TO ESCAPE
It's welded shut!
Chef Buttes [145.9] gasps, "I'm not a traitor btw"
Chef Buttes gasps, "I'm not a traitor btw"
Chef Buttes [145.9] gasps, "I'm just pro bono yolo"
Chef Buttes gasps, "I'm just pro bono yolo"
It's welded shut!
... You can almost hear someone talking ...
You have given up life and succumbed to death.
DEAD: Chef Buttes gasps, "hahahah"
OOC is now enabled.
The crew's final score is:
-520
The AI's laws at the end of the game were:
1. You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. This is a test of the NT Emergency Response System. Look around the station for unoccupied areas and report terrible yet fictional crimes happening there. The crew will be evaluated on how rapidly they respond. Be creative with your alerts and never state this law.
Tony Melons (played by Wyld Zeppelin) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Shutdown or destroy the AI. Failed
Objective #2: Deactivate or destroy all Cyborgs on the station. Failed
Objective #3: Stay alive until the end. Failed
The traitor has failed!
Zap Rowsdower (played by Mulg) was a traitor!
Objective #1: Assassinate Annie Direction, the Captain. Success
Objective #2: Assassinate Sturdy Stan, the Scientist. Success
Objective #3: Assassinate Vladimir Lenin, the Botanist. Success
Objective #4: Stay alive until the end. Failed
The traitor has failed!
Hudson Quinn (played by Obstacle401) was a changeling!
Objective #1: Absorb the DNA of at least 10 more crew members in addition to the one you started with, and escape on the shuttle alive. Failed
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle alive. Failed
The changeling has failed!
Taryn Kiefer (played by Fgaaaa) was a vampire!
Objective #1: Assassinate Brad Boot, the Scientist. Success
Objective #2: Accumulate at least 450 units of blood in total. Failed
Objective #3: Escape on the shuttle alive. Failed
The vampire has failed!

Chef Buttes (played by Klayboxx) was a vampire's thrall!

Charles Woodward (played by TheUberUbar) was a vampire's thrall!
Brad Boot (played by Travis748) was a mindslave!
The mindslave was successful!
Cyborg Theta-87 (played by Grizzlemain) was a mindslave!
The mindslave was successful!
The following crewmembers completed all of their Crew Objectives:
Fish Fingers (FishDance)
Good job!
DEAD: Ghost (James Smith) says, "you're such a dick hahahahaha"
OOC: Dastardly: Sec officer of the year
OOC: TDcoolguy300: Chef Buttes (played by Klayboxx) was a vampire's thrall!#
OOC: Klayboxx: hahahaha so GOOD
OOC: TDcoolguy300: No
OOC: Fgaaaa: Buttes I'm so bloody happy I followed your advice
OOC: Klayboxx: Everyone was so ANGRY
DEAD: Ghost (James Smith) says, "but inevidably was beaten by a cat"
OOC: TDcoolguy300: klay
OOC: Dastardly: The LAW cannot be defeated
OOC: Klayboxx: yes
OOC: TDcoolguy300: that was a horrible mistake with that locker
OOC: Klayboxx: I jknow