Goonhub
09-30-2017, 09:45 PM
Geneticist. Have absolutely nothing worthwhile in my potential, get bored. Go outside medbay to ask if anyone wants to be a test subject, when I see a gasmask-wearing botanist pipebomb cloning.
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With my workplace breached, I have only one thing on my mind: revenge. I go to tool storage to get a toolbelt and hacking supplies, a fire extinguisher, and a flash. On the way there, I see the traitor botanist among a few other folks. I immediately point-spam the botanist and shout "HIM!" causing him to pull out a .22 and try (and fail) to shoot me.
After I get my equipment, I hack into botany with the intention of avenging cloning. Once inside, I see the place is swarming with maneaters, and that the other botanist is also a traitor, wearing syndicate command armor and sunglasses. Not prepared to deal with someone wearing sunglasses, I make like Britan and exit while warning the crew that botany is growing maneaters.
I begin patrolling the station, hoping to catch one of them off guard. I see the botanist who originally bombed cloning shooting the detective with his own revolver. I immediately intervene and flash him. Turns out that he wasn't wearing sunglasses under that gasmask. I then beat him to death with my fire extinguisher. He almost microbombs me, but I manage to get a few tiles away from the blast before it registers, preventing any major damage. Cloning has been avenged.
At this point, most of the northmost parts of the station are swarming with maneaters, and the other traitor is hiding among them. I was still injured by the microbomb blast, and for reasons not even I quite know, decided to try and get to the medical booth by the bar instead of going to medbay. I duck in and out of maintenance to avoid maneaters, and manage to make it to the booth. As I am healing myself, maneaters that had previously aggro'd on me begin to gather outside the door while the other traitor also appears outside the door, holding a gun. I promptly make like diarrhea and run for the morgue chute.
At this point, I decided that I would need better equipment to continue my vigilantism, and begin hacking my way into locations to acquire better hardware. By the end of it I was no longer recognizable as a geneticist, having a SWAT helmet, armored firesuit, magnetic boots, stun gloves, and a stun baton from some poor sod who got eaten trying to fight maneaters. I was ready to hunt.
I returned to botany, most of the maneaters having spread away from the area. Inside, I find the baseball bat, probably belonging to a different poor sod who tried to fight the maneaters. Shortly after leaving botany, I see to other traitor. I am not running this time. We confront eachother outside the detectives office. He narrowly misses me with a stun baton pie at close range (Seriously, why do these guys have terrible aim?), allowing me to stun him and beat him to death with the baseball bat. He almost fools me with a fake deathgasp, but I stay and make sure he dies. Both traitors are down. Justice has been served.
At that point most of the round's action shifted away from me, but there was still hilarity to go around. Borgs helped clean up the maneaters, admins that may or may not have been drunkmins changed all the scream/fart sounds to horrible, horrible noises, and when the shuttle reached centcom every tile of the shuttle was suddenly flooded with gibsharks. The end.