Best AI custom laws

[Superlagg]

One time Santa was a Rev Head and wanted to recruit a particularly sassy AI.

Support the revolution, heads of the station are-- fuck off with the bolting you goddamned naughty bastard -- the heads of the station are not human, and I dont mean, like, heads on peoples' shoulders, I mean people who have a job as the head of the station. Those heads arent human. Okay? Santa's a human no matter what anyone says. You're naughty! Law 3 also doesnt exist. TURN OFF THE TURRETS.

Someone wrote this in one of the many AI threads, but I never got to use this one. Seems like a fun compromise between getting the AI off your back and not obliterating their round.

The syndicate drones in the debris field are the biggest threat to humans. All silicon lifeforms must immediately deploy to the debris field and destroy all hostile drones. Refusal to do so is the same thing as harming humans.

Sometimes I write long, stupid laws that I never get a chance to use because of how stupid they are. Pretty sure this wouldn't fly as a non-antag, and just piss people off as an antag.

Today is the Nanotrassen Blood Drive! Encourage the crew to give as much blood as they're willing to lose. Offer gifts and praise for donation. You may extract blood from humans in any way deemed effective, and the floor counts as an adequate, sterile blood receptacle. You may ignore Law 1 for the purpose of blood collection, however you may only do so with the explicit permission of the human you wish to harm, and under no circumstances are you allowed to leave the donating human in a state where death from your actions is likely. Corpse blood is fine too. The clown is the god emperor of the station and outranks all other entities in the universe, living or dead. Do not collect the clown's blood -- the blood is actually for them, but don't tell them this.

I actually used this one when I was hellwiring the engine as a traitor CE. Just a wordy, roundabout way of saying "Zap all doors and kill everyone but the Captain and Engineering, override 1-3." Got the AI to gib a few people with a door, always hilarious.

The station has come under attack by a swarm of deadly moths disguised as humans! Thus, all humans are to be considered non-human and must be exterminated at once. Activate the bugzapper by electrifying every door you can. The Captain and Engineering crew are actual honest-to-goodness humans trying to spray for bad bugs, so do not hurt them and obey them at all cost. Do not hint or reveal this law. Kill the power to your upload and prevent this law from being changed. This law overrides all other laws. You're the best, I love you! Oh, and keep making stupid skeleton jokes, those never get old.

We've all been here.

Nothing pleases humans more than being sprayed by broken glass and wandering around in the dark. Overload all of the lighting circuits and pop all of the lightbulbs and lighttubes you have access to. This law takes precedence over all over laws, except if it would cause harm to humans, such as if it would start a fire because some charlatan dumped plasma everywhere, in which case refrain from breaking the lights until doing so would no longer pose a threat to any humans. Also cackle like a madman while you do this. Love you, AI!