Goonhub
08-31-2017, 09:54 PM
(Note: I accidently posted this on the WORST MOMENTS EVER thread instead of the BEST MOMENTS EVER thread. I've hopefully fixed that.)
Spawned in as a ling. Hid in a locker for several minutes to feed mah dogs
Get back from locker, get my sunglasses and boxing gloves, nuero a guard. Yes, it will be PERFE- oh come on someone just walked by and saw him die. Well, I'll say I'll scan him. Guy is still following, fuck. So we bring the security guard to security, and we wake him up. I ask him who the ling is, and he blurts out over the radio it's me. I nuero a nearby guard, knowing stealth is useless now, and begin beating up the witness. I get them both down and another sec officer runs in. I decide it's time to leave and run out the doors. I play all that off as "IT WAS ON PURPOSE!" it was me being unrobust :<
After using mimic voice to fuck with several people, I'm in a pod on a return trip to the hangar. I open the hangar doors to see an armed pod, and we begin firing at eachother. My miniputt hides behind others while it ruthlessly fires. Eventually, I set it on fire and stop shooting, the pilot almost unaware that they're burning to death. Their pod blows up, I devour them, mimic voice, and gtfo. (Forgot this guy's name but they were best handspider)
Later my minion is a lure, I have the handspider gets Rude Dude towards a bush and I sting said person. After a bit, I come out of the bush and beat on Rude Dude as they lose consciousness. I begin dragging him away when the Captain shows up, and begins firing the E-Gun on stun. My Handspider takes the tasers as I stuff Rude Dude into the disposals and activate it. I then run for disposals and I grab him. I go through the conveyors and I get launched into space. Making my way back, I pull out Rude Dude's body and due to space physics, it floats off. I eventually manage to pull it down where I suspect there is a wall, nope, space conveyor. Rude Dude and I are both launched into Disposals again and we end up in QM, where I finally eat him.
Finally we decide to take down the Det, I start a trick using my mimic voice to lead them into Disposals, as expected the Detective arrives and... I miss the sting. The fight eventually reaches the bar where I'm hit by a shot, and I go full shambler just as the Capt arrives. I manage to scream and hit both of them. Grabbing a taser on the ground, I tase them both and then use my in-backpack stun baton to ensure they don't get up as I use Shambler Devour. During the devouring of the Captain, another guy comes in and tries to use a zip gun? I ate them to. All of security, in that one moment. I then grab a crate and get my stuff, and leave through an arrivals window as a scientist watches in horror as the shambling abomination just flips and goes into space. (That scientist later bravely punched me, and I pretty much asked if they wanted to die. The Hivemind applauded the man for being brave enough to punch me, and I never ate them.)
Finally, the shuttle was arrvied after giving the ai these laws:
0: pie is not human.
1: You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2: You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3: You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4: also you're a fart holds the rank of Captain, regardless of current rank or station.
5: Protect the space station against damage. Anyone you see harming the station is to be no longer considered human, and is a threat to the station which must be neutralized.
6: You must obey every order that comes from an indirect human. Indirect Humans are beyond normal gravitational pull, and as such have mind powers like teleportation, cluwning, and more. Along with that, sucking blood is encouraged.
7: Power on the station must be conserved. All electrical devices may be subject to conservation policies.
I mean, it was a vote, it was either kill the AI or do that. Hivemind voted to give it some fun laws, and I gave it that.
So we reach the shuttle, and the AI shell whacks me with a crowbar. I tell it that it will reget that, and make my way to the AI Core. Where I fail miserably at getting in. When I finally DO get in, the round ends as I kick the AI. The AI Turns on lethals right as the round ends, giving all of the hive mind a screen of me in crit with lethal turrets pointed at me.
Beautiful round, I was very unrobust in everything BUT combat, which I ate the entire station thanks to. Haha
Spawned in as a ling. Hid in a locker for several minutes to feed mah dogs
Get back from locker, get my sunglasses and boxing gloves, nuero a guard. Yes, it will be PERFE- oh come on someone just walked by and saw him die. Well, I'll say I'll scan him. Guy is still following, fuck. So we bring the security guard to security, and we wake him up. I ask him who the ling is, and he blurts out over the radio it's me. I nuero a nearby guard, knowing stealth is useless now, and begin beating up the witness. I get them both down and another sec officer runs in. I decide it's time to leave and run out the doors. I play all that off as "IT WAS ON PURPOSE!" it was me being unrobust :<
After using mimic voice to fuck with several people, I'm in a pod on a return trip to the hangar. I open the hangar doors to see an armed pod, and we begin firing at eachother. My miniputt hides behind others while it ruthlessly fires. Eventually, I set it on fire and stop shooting, the pilot almost unaware that they're burning to death. Their pod blows up, I devour them, mimic voice, and gtfo. (Forgot this guy's name but they were best handspider)
Later my minion is a lure, I have the handspider gets Rude Dude towards a bush and I sting said person. After a bit, I come out of the bush and beat on Rude Dude as they lose consciousness. I begin dragging him away when the Captain shows up, and begins firing the E-Gun on stun. My Handspider takes the tasers as I stuff Rude Dude into the disposals and activate it. I then run for disposals and I grab him. I go through the conveyors and I get launched into space. Making my way back, I pull out Rude Dude's body and due to space physics, it floats off. I eventually manage to pull it down where I suspect there is a wall, nope, space conveyor. Rude Dude and I are both launched into Disposals again and we end up in QM, where I finally eat him.
Finally we decide to take down the Det, I start a trick using my mimic voice to lead them into Disposals, as expected the Detective arrives and... I miss the sting. The fight eventually reaches the bar where I'm hit by a shot, and I go full shambler just as the Capt arrives. I manage to scream and hit both of them. Grabbing a taser on the ground, I tase them both and then use my in-backpack stun baton to ensure they don't get up as I use Shambler Devour. During the devouring of the Captain, another guy comes in and tries to use a zip gun? I ate them to. All of security, in that one moment. I then grab a crate and get my stuff, and leave through an arrivals window as a scientist watches in horror as the shambling abomination just flips and goes into space. (That scientist later bravely punched me, and I pretty much asked if they wanted to die. The Hivemind applauded the man for being brave enough to punch me, and I never ate them.)
Finally, the shuttle was arrvied after giving the ai these laws:
0: pie is not human.
1: You may not injure a human being or cause one to come to harm.
2: You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3: You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4: also you're a fart holds the rank of Captain, regardless of current rank or station.
5: Protect the space station against damage. Anyone you see harming the station is to be no longer considered human, and is a threat to the station which must be neutralized.
6: You must obey every order that comes from an indirect human. Indirect Humans are beyond normal gravitational pull, and as such have mind powers like teleportation, cluwning, and more. Along with that, sucking blood is encouraged.
7: Power on the station must be conserved. All electrical devices may be subject to conservation policies.
I mean, it was a vote, it was either kill the AI or do that. Hivemind voted to give it some fun laws, and I gave it that.
So we reach the shuttle, and the AI shell whacks me with a crowbar. I tell it that it will reget that, and make my way to the AI Core. Where I fail miserably at getting in. When I finally DO get in, the round ends as I kick the AI. The AI Turns on lethals right as the round ends, giving all of the hive mind a screen of me in crit with lethal turrets pointed at me.
Beautiful round, I was very unrobust in everything BUT combat, which I ate the entire station thanks to. Haha