Best moments ever thread 2.0

[HukHukHuk]

So Huk decided to stage "Shamefights." I volunteer and the first match is me, Jeb Maxwell, vs Mr. Maples. We're warped to Thunderdome-awaiting us, Japanese Schoolgirl Outfits. They ARE Shamefights after all.

Once we donned our outfits, we launched into battle. Mr. Maples had telekinesis, but I had a helmet, so it was about even. Now, to understand why this is awesome, you need to imagine this: on one side, a scruffy old man with a long beard, dressed as a Japanese Schoolgirl and using mind powers- on the other, a scruffy young man with a hideous neckbeard, wearing magnetic boots, insulated gloves, and the syndicate suit helmet, facing off.

The rules were simple: one on one, no weapons, and whoever could stuff the other into a trash compactor first won. What followed was about 6 minutes of brilliant dodging and strikes. I chased him in endless loops and twists, avoiding psychic punches and trying to get close enough to land a punch. We traded blows back and forth-I stunned him but let it get away from me, he knocked me down but I just barely managed to avoid death, standing up just before the compactor could shut. Finally, ten seconds before the emergency shuttle could leave, I managed to knock him out and compact him. Truly Shamefights are the finest spectacle of the age.

The next round was a massive free for all shamefight until Scroe Rotum won out as king of shame 2.