Goonhub
05-01-2013, 03:51 AM
I was punished/griffed with a round as a retarded, imprisoned green alien. I nearly foiled a syndie plot by pushing someone down and trying to steal what turned out to be a multi-frequency headset, but the crew were trying to capture me and do horrible experiments on me, so fuck them. Eventually, I was imprisoned in crystal glass and Macho Man turned me into a statue.
The next round, I spawned as Captain, and Infinite Monkeys decided to make me... Palpatine! He granted me black robes, "force gloves" (black versions of the new engineer traitor gloves, to shoot lightning), a red lightsaber and a voice changer that made me Emperor Palpatine in name as well as fact. My objective was to "do evil shit I guess". I set out with the intention of declaring myself overlord and Emperor of the station, to terrorise the peasants with my stormtrooper/security army and blast those who disagreed with me into ash while screaming "POWER, UNLIMITED POWER". Of course, someone thought I was a wizard when I was dressing up, so I emerged to find the bridge full of security. The exchange went something like:
"Jesus, I'm your Captain, look"
"HE HAS A LIGHTSABER!"
"Of course I do I'm fucking Darth Sidious. I will be a fair master. This is my Death Star and my lightsaber will be saved for those syndicate rebel scum who threaten its integrity."
"LET'S KILL HIM"
A few electric zaps were responded to with a flurry of batons and tasers and I was warped into the HoS office. I tried to plead my case, and a few people did play along. An electrician came to the door of security offering to pay me tribute, so I screamed "YES, PEASANT, WITNESS MY POWER" and zapped him. I apologised, saying I was just getting used to how power gloves worked... then my brain farted or something and I killed him with my lightsaber, which was a bit pointlessly mean and probably lost me some sympathy, but I was annoyed by what happened on the bridge. I did immediately regret it, but there we go.
I met the detective at his office and he said he was behind my dark reign all the way, but couldn't say the same for the rest of sec. Sure enough, someone charged out of security, tased me while I was typing and bucklecuffed me in security. I was warped to the HoS' office once more, but this time sans lightsaber. I shocked a couple of my antagonists through the glass, but this being the start of the round, all I could do was stun them briefly.
IM then teleported me back out into the main sec area and I was promptly beaten to death with my own lightsaber.
RIP Darth Sidious. RIP fun. Killed by shit security and my own night-before-exam lack of ability to think on a level above "primal".
The next round, I spawned as Captain, and Infinite Monkeys decided to make me... Palpatine! He granted me black robes, "force gloves" (black versions of the new engineer traitor gloves, to shoot lightning), a red lightsaber and a voice changer that made me Emperor Palpatine in name as well as fact. My objective was to "do evil shit I guess". I set out with the intention of declaring myself overlord and Emperor of the station, to terrorise the peasants with my stormtrooper/security army and blast those who disagreed with me into ash while screaming "POWER, UNLIMITED POWER". Of course, someone thought I was a wizard when I was dressing up, so I emerged to find the bridge full of security. The exchange went something like:
"Jesus, I'm your Captain, look"
"HE HAS A LIGHTSABER!"
"Of course I do I'm fucking Darth Sidious. I will be a fair master. This is my Death Star and my lightsaber will be saved for those syndicate rebel scum who threaten its integrity."
"LET'S KILL HIM"
A few electric zaps were responded to with a flurry of batons and tasers and I was warped into the HoS office. I tried to plead my case, and a few people did play along. An electrician came to the door of security offering to pay me tribute, so I screamed "YES, PEASANT, WITNESS MY POWER" and zapped him. I apologised, saying I was just getting used to how power gloves worked... then my brain farted or something and I killed him with my lightsaber, which was a bit pointlessly mean and probably lost me some sympathy, but I was annoyed by what happened on the bridge. I did immediately regret it, but there we go.
I met the detective at his office and he said he was behind my dark reign all the way, but couldn't say the same for the rest of sec. Sure enough, someone charged out of security, tased me while I was typing and bucklecuffed me in security. I was warped to the HoS' office once more, but this time sans lightsaber. I shocked a couple of my antagonists through the glass, but this being the start of the round, all I could do was stun them briefly.
IM then teleported me back out into the main sec area and I was promptly beaten to death with my own lightsaber.
RIP Darth Sidious. RIP fun. Killed by shit security and my own night-before-exam lack of ability to think on a level above "primal".