How did you last die

[Saxophone Jones]

I was a late-joining traitor. I, being the terrible traitor that I am, decided to take someone's advice and use a chameleon projector to turn myself into a living ass.

I then proceed to go around the station yelling into my headset microphone and referring to myself as "assman" and "the ass" doing absolutely nothing of interest until the HoP harasses me and steals my emag.

And then I decide I'm a bit tired of being the assman and decide to have a dramatic ending to the story of the ass. So I go down to arrivals and have a long monologue.

Code:

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "The ass... the ass is not what it used to be."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "It is a shadow... of it's former self."

A tear crawls down the ass' cheek.

Tyrone Saxophone Jones asks, "Can I truly be called... the ass?"

Tyrone Saxophone Jones asks, "Or am I just... an ass?"

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "Perhaps the world does not need asses anymore..."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones asks, "Perhaps the ass age has passed."
Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "Yes... it is the beginning of a new age."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "We are past the age of asscension."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "And so begins the age... of Space."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "It is time for asses like myself to step down, and let a new generation of ass take the reins."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones exclaims, "And with those reins, we will rise to new heights!"

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "THE WORLD HAS NO USE FOR ASSES LIKE ME ANYMORE! THEY NEED ME NOT TO FART! MY ABILITY TO SPREAD SHIT WAS REMOVED YEARS AGO! ROBOTIC ASSES HAVE ALREADY BEEN INVENTED! SOON, THEY WILL BE ALL THE NEW GENERATION NEEDS TO SPREAD THE WONDERS OF FARTS! MY PURPOSE HAS BEEN FULFILLED! I CAN PASS AWAY NOW, KNOWING THAT I HAVE PAVED THE WAY FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS OF BUTT!"

Tyrone Saxophone Jones says, "I can die... happy."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones [145.9] says, "Goodbye, crew. I, the ass, have had a realization: You don't need me here anymore. You need me not to do your farting. My ability to shit was disabled years ago. Now, it is time, to let a new generation take the reins. A new generation of ass. Now, crew, I die, content with the knowledge that my contributions to society will allow the new age of ass to prosper. My days are over, but the days of the robo-ass..."

Tyrone Saxophone Jones [145.9] says, "They are only just beginning."

A single tear runs down the ass' cheek, as he looks back, and knows this is the only way things can end. he prepares to let one last fart pass through before the end.

Tyrone Saxophone Jones farts loudly!

Alert: Shuttle launch time shortened to 10 seconds!

Tyrone Saxophone Jones cries.
Tyrone Saxophone Jones screams!


And so ended the story of The Ass.

I edited it a lot to make it less terrible.

Looking back on it, it wasn't even funny, it went on way too long and had no punch line. In fact, it might actually be my worst attempt at a humorous death to date. I just thought it was worth sharing.