Worst Moments Ever

[NateTheSquid]

There's several HOPs that come to mind (shitHOPs are becoming way too common), but was the HOP in question Grandma Smith by any chance?

given my experience, probably yes. they once yelled for twenty minutes about how a borg basically didn't murder a guy to save smith's life and was breaking law 1 cause it has an inaction clause, which it literally doesn't.

[awfulworldkid]

There's a very good reason that AI laws don't have an inaction clause, and part of it is to avoid stuff like that from happening. The other part is to stop Staff Assistants from being able to get the AI to open any door by threatening suicide.

[The_Rain]

There's several HOPs that come to mind (shitHOPs are becoming way too common), but was the HOP in question Grandma Smith by any chance?

given my experience, probably yes. they once yelled for twenty minutes about how a borg basically didn't murder a guy to save smith's life and was breaking law 1 cause it has an inaction clause, which it literally doesn't.

That honestly doesn't stop people from threatening suicide if the AI doesn't open a door. I saw a clown do it the other day, and Grandma Smith tends to raid everything she can as HoP. It's kind of a pain.

[TheDK]

Here's my contribution (LLJK1 for life):

This was fairly recent, in the past few days. Round start. I spawn as a traitor scientist. A boxer spawns and immediately starts randomly punching people. He gets me down to yellow before I manage to get some distance. He's pummeling the captain. I very quickly order a mindslave implant and implant the boxer, who was just knocked down, then I drag him away into the chem lab.

I instruct him to keep punching people, but to not just be a random dick about it and at least say something first. I also tell him to punch their limbs off (I had the arms dealer objective). He sets off for the captain again. I make some styptic patches just in case I need them. I find the Captain nearly killing the boxer. I heal up the boxer, using all of my patches, while pleading with the Captain to stop killing a crew member. Boxer recovers, starts wailing on the Captain. I exclaim I am out of patches and can't help the Captain. I quickly order a microbomb and implant the Captain and run away as fast as I can. He dies immediately, blowing up the hull near cryo. I somehow managed to get away untouched.

I collect the Captain's limbs which have been scattered everywhere and drag the boxer to medbay. I can't really help him and he's about to die so I just send him to the morgue. A new scientist wakes up from cryo and is freaking out about what happened. I say we had some damage but we can fix it and tell them to go play with chems.

I was thinking floorbot to keep the round going as this was only 30 minutes in or so, so I go to try to break into maintenance to get the one by the ghost drone manufacturer. I get shocked trying to hack the door, like 50 goddamn times. Straight into crit. Dying shortly thereafter. Only the new scientist is left so we're all watching him. He grabs a monkey and looks at it the wrong way, causing it to beat his ass down HARD. Then when the monkey finally calls off his attack, the scientist starts fumbling with some chems, presumably trying to heal himself, only to consume something that kills him almost instantly. Shuttle is called, no one escapes alive.

Truly a shameful performance. Plus fuck that boxer, damn that was pissing me off.

[NateTheSquid]

if you're getting shocked by a door you are hacking you have to close the hacking window or it'll shock you forever. i normally just run away as i close the window as soon as i hear the shock

[Schwicky_Schwag]

I don't know if we're allowed to tell non-SS13 stories in this thread or not, but whatever.
Just right now I was making a microwave pizza, and as I was transferring it to a plate, I dropped it, and it landed topping side down.
All the toppings stuck to my kitchen floor to spite me.
Even the cheese.

[Musketman12]

I don't know if we're allowed to tell non-SS13 stories in this thread or not, but whatever.
Just right now I was making a microwave pizza, and as I was transferring it to a plate, I dropped it, and it landed topping side down.
All the toppings stuck to my kitchen floor to spite me.
Even the cheese.

I shed a single tear reading this. When is the funeral?

[Schwicky_Schwag]

I don't know if we're allowed to tell non-SS13 stories in this thread or not, but whatever.
Just right now I was making a microwave pizza, and as I was transferring it to a plate, I dropped it, and it landed topping side down.
All the toppings stuck to my kitchen floor to spite me.
Even the cheese.

I shed a single tear reading this. When is the funeral?

There would be a funeral, but I covered the cadaver in hot sauce and ate it.

[Frank_Stein]

Was it a Tombstone pizza?

[Schwicky_Schwag]

Was it a Tombstone pizza?

Nah, it was one of those 'Lean Cuisine' Supreme Pizzas, though it would have been ironic if it was Tombstone.

Spoiler!

Here lies andy
peperony and chease

[atamusvaleo]

One pizza with everything on it please.

[Dr Zoidcrab]

Did the pizza fall onto the floor, or did the world fall onto the pizza?

[NateTheSquid]

i got wizard and was gonna just dance around and block hallways with magic and shit, but the first person I spoke to tased me, beat me into red, then chucked me into the biodome where i got stuck for like 10 minutes cause the teleporting powers don't work there. then I had to wait around so I could murder the utter shit out of them with roughly 12 tranq darts and a fire extinguisher. then i borged them cause they succumbed like as soon as they got into crit so i wanted to punish them. they then ran away from me yelling about how i was gonna kill them cause i was 'passive aggressive' and then they quit. pranks to death

[misto]

half the station falling into the very trap i specifically warned them about on the radio was kind of disappointing, but im sure it was very funny for the traitor who set it up

[Burrito Justice]

My worst moment was becoming an admin on FTL13.
The sad part is I applied for it.