Best moments ever thread 2.0

[h3half]

I was a changeling for the first time in many months. After a borg cornered me in space and beat me near to death with his RCD module, I used Speed Regeneration. Apparently that has a little bug where my skin was constantly reforming and giving off that big honkin red alert every five seconds. Stealth was no longer possible.

Heiraphont took pity on my soul and spawned a spell book and wizard gear. He then made a perma portal to QM's after I was drifting in space, but I used fireball on the wrong guy and went down. I came back for a few seconds later, but was quickly KO'd.

The constant regeneration meant it took forever for them to kill me, even though I was buckle-cuffed to a chair. My headspider was killed, and the wizardling was no more.

[Buzzbomb]

Giant ooze vs a shameful crew.

Ooze won, no contest.

[APARTHEID]

Thanks to those brand-new AI shortcuts, I had one hell of a round tormenting the non-human crew! The ability to quickly open, close, and bolt doors ensured that no one, and I mean NO ONE escaped on the shuttle.

(Except for Valerak and another miner because miners are huge jerks that sidestep every obstacle in their path. JERKS)

[epicdwarf]

Today I spawned as a late join traitor. My mission was to kill the monkies, and I was dealing with THE WORST CREW EVER! I got away with emaging a bork right in front of the robotist, blatenly using a voice changer, and sealing a dead miners suit, ID, and jetpack in front of the genasist. It gets better! I found a fucking singality bomb just lying infront of arrivels. So here was my plane I was going to totaly destroy the east wing of the station by using a bunch of trick cigs I bought. Then I was going to activate the singality bomb. After that the only thing I would have to do is survive till the shuttle. So I walked into genetics, stole a space suit and id infront of the genasist, climbed into the diasposials bin, and found put someone built a gibber right infront of the exit. Still an awesome round though.

[Furbeh]

Today I read the Best moments ever thread 2.0. I was doing so cause I was bored, and I suddenly was dealing with THE WORST GRAMMAR EVER!
For the love of god please don't be foreign cause if you are I pray to god you are not offended.

[atomic1fire]

Goons was down (still is probably)

I go off to some other server, and one of the admins says whoever out drinks captain wins his hat.

I take up that challenge

Priority Announcement

terrell p. wilkerson is our station's champion drinker, congrats

Some other guy claims to have drugged captain, so I won that hat unfairly, but still pretty funny.

[epicdwarf]

Today I read the Best moments ever thread 2.0. I was doing so cause I was bored, and I suddenly was dealing with THE WORST GRAMMAR EVER!
For the love of god please don't be foreign cause if you are I pray to god you are not offended.

That is what happens when you use a phone to do a computer's job.

[enforcer9]

Goons was down (still is probably)

I go off to some other server, and one of the admins says whoever out drinks captain wins his hat.

I take up that challenge

Priority Announcement

terrell p. wilkerson is our station's champion drinker, congrats

Some other guy claims to have drugged captain, so I won that hat unfairly, but still pretty funny.

Proof that goonstation is beststation

[mozi]

that was me, actually, and it just so happened the round I chose to play a drunk captain gimmick was a nuke round.

after the drinking contest, I briefly returned to the bridge to give a nice monkey my spare ID and a laser gun, changed into the captain's "parade" outfit, and returned to the bar to get properly sloshed. after hearing about syndicates I briefly checked my office again to see the disc was missing and decided to just ignore it and keep getting drunk.

on my way back I briefly walk through a firefight in the hallway, pausing to force the unconscious head of security to drink from my flask. at some point while getting hammered a syndicate agent runs in, followed by two security officers. they engage in a fierce gunfight mere feet away from me as I combat the shaking screen trying to grab a beer bottle.

the syndicate manages to take down both the sec officers, but then the monkey leaps out of the kitchen with the energy gun in hand and finishes off the syndie. medical and security personnel teem into the bar to clear out the corpses as their captain sings to himself.

tg also apparently has fat mobs still as myself and several other bar patrons became quite corpulent and shed our clothes to waddle to the escape shuttle as the crew evacuated. the barmen thankfully brought a giant booze closet along with him, allowing me to keep drinking, puking all over the shuttle, to the disgust of the judgmental cyborgs.

a successful shift!

[Swedish Horror]

I tried to make Krokodil as the RD, it exploded and then I died as the heat burned all the oxygen out.

[atomic1fire]

I became so fat that round I had to borrow a prison uniform. I also drank a syndicte suicide pill and ran face first into a shoot out, surviving two shots to the head. I then beat myself with a stun baton after being trapped as a fat prison uniform wearing man in security. I was probably the worst lawyer, but it was a good nongoon round.

Also some other guy claims that he helped me cheat by spiking your drink with chloride or something.

Still pretty funny.

[atomic1fire]

it was probably chloral hydrate.

I also remember drinking the left over martini that round and getting knocked out repeatedly.

[UrsulaMejor]

Damien Eggbert says, "Chaz"
Chaz T. Buffletuff asks, "Yes?"
Damien Eggbert says, "Teach me how to beatbox like you do"
Chaz T. Buffletuff nods.
Damien Eggbert says, "So You can show me your raps"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Well, first you gotta start with a backbeat."
Chaz T. Buffletuff asks, "Care to join in, officer?"
K'ssu Fr'ssi says, "No, thank you."
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Start off with good four on the floor backing beat. oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Once you've got that established, add in some hihat. Tss. Tss. Tss."
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Oontz tss oontz tss"
Damien Eggbert attempts to lay down a sic beat for Chaz' rap. He does an acceptable job for a first time.
K'ssu Fr'ssi says, "Almossst sssoundsss like the basssicsss for our language."
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Now it's time to kick things up with some snare. Chikka chikka chika."
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Oontz tss chikka tss oontz tss chikka tss"
Damien Eggbert says, "Aw yeah, we're kickin' it now." Oontz tss chikka tss oontz tss chikka tss "Lay down your sweet raps, Chaz"
Chaz T. Buffletuff demonstrates. The beats wash over you like a waterfall of hypnotic rhythm.
OOC: Nestromo: I am finding myself repeating Chaz's beatbox instructions.
Damien Eggbert cannot continue. He is amazed.
K'ssu Fr'ssi folds her arms over her chest.
Damien Eggbert says, "Aw yeah, Chaz"
Damien Eggbert says, "Man"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Once you've got that all down, it's time to start spicing it up. Lay down some flavor, DJ style."
Trevor Wildshard asks, "What happened to you, doc?"
Damien Eggbert asks, "Just puts you right in the mood for a rap, man?"
Damien Eggbert says, "I'm lying here with my captain practicing beatboxing"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Wzzzzzzzzzzz wakkakkaaa"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Slow down the end for style."
Trevor Wildshard says, "I thought he was stripped of rank"
Damien Eggbert says, "A captain that raps is the only true captain"
Damien Eggbert says, "Alright captain"
Damien Eggbert says, "You've heard my flow"
Damien Eggbert says, "It's your turn to go"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Oontz tss oontz tss oontz tss"
Damien Eggbert says, "I laid down a courtroom rap"
Damien Eggbert says, "Too bad the HoS is full of crap"
Damien Eggbert says, "Let me lay down the rhythm"
Damien Eggbert says, "You lay down the jive"
K'ssu Fr'ssi groans, rubbing her forehead.
Damien Eggbert says, "We're kickin' down"
Damien Eggbert says, "IN THREE FOUR FIVE"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "ONE EIGHT SEVEN ON AN UNDACOVA CAP"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Suckas be bustin', lurin' me inna trap"
Damien Eggbert lays down that sweet beat.
K'ssu Fr'ssi says, "Khss..."
Damien Eggbert says, "Oontz tss chikka tss oontz tss chikka tss"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "The streets are harsh, no justice for a playa"
Hy Staqes starts bopping his head to the sweet beats.
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "But in a jail cell, I'm a goddamn rhyme slaya"
Damien Eggbert slows down the beat, shit's serious for this part
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Suckas went and took my hat, my most precious thing of all"
K'ssu Fr'ssi says, "What a wassste of time, you don't have rhyme, you are jussst a sssilly little fool, who thinksss you are cool, get out of my brig, before I lay down the ssssting."
Hy Staqes says, "That was some schoolyard shit bro"
Chaz T. Buffletuff says, "Oh shit side sass from the cops"
Chaz T. Buffletuff salutes.
Hy Staqes says, "Schooooooolyaarrdd"

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

Three Words:

Naked. Swedish. Arsonists.

All on Oven Station 13

[Nightgunner5]