Complaint Jan.antilles, forums, 12/17/2025 and 12/15/1025

[True_Blue_Flare]

Admin: Jan.antilles
Server: Forums
Date + time: 12/17/2025 at 9:12 AM, and 12/15/2025 at 5:53 PM (PST)
Synopsis: On 11/15/2025, I was permanently banned from the game and discord server for inflammatory behavior - arguing with other players, arguing with admins, bringing it to the forums when told off in the discord, and finally making a suicide coded comment when the thread was locked. I'm not going to get into my opinions about the ban, my intent with the things I said, or other factors I believe were at play; what happened happened, complaining about the ban helps nobody at this point. I'm just going to admit I was kinda an ass and leave it at that. 
  Now, after the one month wait before I could appeal, I spent a full morning + much of my afternoon drafting and writing out an appeal, trying to make it precise, polite, and concise as possible. It got outright blanket denied, the denial message including the line "I will not be lifting this ban. I wish you the best elsewhere.". After sitting with that for a couple days, I decided to appeal again - after all, this server matters to me, and it feels crushingly wrong to just stand by and do nothing. It got denied, the accompany message just being incredibly dismissive.
  Ultimately, it doesn't feel like my appeals are being handled fairly or in good faith. Like no matter how much effort I put into doing better, it won't matter. Like the possibility of growth is just disregarded. Like I'm seen as being exactly as I was in the moment I got banned, just one, unchanging thing.

[GreenJelly]

Hello. Jan gave her reasons for denying in your first appeal, I will not reiterate them here unless deemed necessary. In any instance where a permaban appeal is denied, a nearly identical appeal within a few days would be expected to be flatly denied regardless of banning admin, unless there is a specific agreement between player and admin to make a new one that early.
As has been stated, we wish you the best elsewhere.

Jelly

[True_Blue_Flare]

Hello. Jan gave her reasons for denying in your first appeal, I will not reiterate them here unless deemed necessary. In any instance where a permaban appeal is denied, a nearly identical appeal within a few days would be expected to be flatly denied regardless of banning admin, unless there is a specific agreement between player and admin to make a new one that early.
As has been stated, we wish you the best elsewhere.

Jelly

i could always explain the issues with the given denial reason and be disregarded anyway

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i could always explain the issues with the given denial reason and be disregarded anyway

sorry I'm like half asleep that was uncalled for

[GreenJelly]

As you yourself have stated in this thread, you were banned for repeated arguing, refusal to move on following those arguments, and multiple comments hinting at suicide - including one here on the forums following the ban. Neither the administration team nor our other players are expected to handle such severe situations, regardless of your sincerity and reasoning behind making them.
If you are in a state where you make those types of comments - again regardless of actual reason - we do not have much confidence that a month is enough time to change from it.
Assuming this is solely the personal opinion of the one admin who happened to ban you, and not an actual issue that we are taking seriously and expecting you to take a long time working on fixing before we are comfortable allowing you back into the community, does not support your case of having substantially grown and changed following the ban.

Your concerns are heard. The ban was not out of place. Denying the appeal due to the short timespan in relation to the actions is not out of line. Immediately denying the unprompted re-appeal a few days after the first appeal is not unreasonable. Kindly take care of yourself and work with whatever services you need to get better. Have a nice day and good luck.

Jelly

[True_Blue_Flare]

As you yourself have stated in this thread, you were banned for repeated arguing, refusal to move on following those arguments, and multiple comments hinting at suicide - including one here on the forums following the ban. Neither the administration team nor our other players are expected to handle such severe situations, regardless of your sincerity and reasoning behind making them.
If you are in a state where you make those types of comments - again regardless of actual reason - we do not have much confidence that a month is enough time to change from it.

It seems to me that it's usually assumed that those comments are intended to guilt trip or something to that effect. I can assure that's not the case. To clear up any uncertainty, comments like that are just a knee-jerk reaction I tend to have whenever something goes wrong while I'm already not doing well mentally, which I haven't been in a while. And I don't expect you to handle it - I take full responsibility for the comments like that I made on the discord or forums. Where I start to take issue with being punished for it is when having comments like that in my discord bio or status while not in the server at all, or otherwise making such comments in other spaces, is used as a reason to deny an appeal.

Assuming this is solely the personal opinion of the one admin who happened to ban you, and not an actual issue that we are taking seriously and expecting you to take a long time working on fixing before we are comfortable allowing you back into the community, does not support your case of having substantially grown and changed following the ban.

I've been keeping that assumption out of my appeals, assuming in good faith that I'm wrong on that front. And it's not like I assume that out of immaturity or something, I'm not a fucking child. I just tend to assume the worst of people because I have CPTSD. Even so, I still try to put my assumptions aside when dealing with things. Like my appeals.

Kindly take care of yourself and work with whatever services you need to get better.

That'd be fuckin amazing now wouldn't it, if there was a way to just "get better". Why don't you get back to me on that when there's a cure for depression or PTSD. There is no "getting better", therapy hasn't fucking helped at all, antidepressants helped for a few months only to abruptly stop fucking working about a month and a half-two months ago, and I've just been white-knuckling it through one fucking thing after another without even that to keep me remotely stable. Like really it's like every fucking misfortune conveniently waited until my antidepressants abruptly stopped working to hit, so I'd be dealing with it all in a shitty, vulnerable state. Like, I've been having to deal with an eviction, this ban, multiple injuries, sick family, and more, and I'm just so overwhelmed and I can't catch a single break and I don't know what to fucking do anymore.

Your concerns are heard.

Really, it doesn't fucking remotely feel like it.

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sorry, I got really emotional while typing that and probably shouldn't have sent

[jan.antilles]

I will not let this community or its staff be subjected to repeated outbursts like this from you. We are administrators for an online video game. It is not our job to tolerate repeated nastiness and then sweep it under the rug because you came back and said you were upset or emotional. As you said, you are not a child. You are an adult. Adults have to live with the consequences of their behavior. This is the consequence of your behavior.

I understand that you have it very hard right now, and that you're struggling, and I truly do wish you the best. But I refuse to let you continue to verbally abuse us.

I will be closing this thread. Please do not make a new one.