HonkTek Presents a Revolution in Storage Solutions

[Mouse]

Tired of having to juggle a dozen different objects just to keep your inventory manageable?  Sick of not having enough pocket space for every random piece of garbage you come across?  Disgusted by people taking your shoes and then throwing them in the crusher, sometimes without even removing them from your feet?  At HonkTek, we understand, and we have a solution.

Introducing the new HonkTek branded COMICALLY OVERSIZED TROUSERS.  With our team of top physicists, we at HonkTek have discovered that if you increase the size of a container, it can contain a larger number of things!  Attached to your body with proprietary technology1 and utilizing an ingenious voice-activated system to deliver the objects you request to your very hands2, our revolutionary apparel will give you what you need, when you need it3.

Marvel as you speak the simple, easy to remember command phrase ("FABULOUS HONKTEK PANTS, GIVE ME") followed by the desired item's name and what rapidly appears in your hand, or at least the general vicinity thereof, will be none other than...

a PIE
a HORN
a BANANA
a PEEL
a CRAYON
a BALLOON
a RUBBER HAMMER
a RUBBER CHICKEN
a STRING OF HANDKERCHIEFS4
a HUMAN ARM5
an IMPROBABLY LARGE MALLET
a LIVE BEAR6
a MISCELLANEOUS, which selects one storage space at random and dispenses its contents, should the space be empty you are instead provided with some of the trousers' COPIOUS QUANTITIES OF LINT7

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.  Order now and we will take your money and run without sending you anything!  HonkTek, made for clowns, by clowns.8

1 Suspenders
2 Trained monkey
3 Provided you need something the monkey has been trained to recognize
4 That is to say, bandages
5 In case you need a hand
6 Bear may be dead
7 Lint may contain allergens
8 Imprisoned in our sweatshop on Saturn's moon, Titan

[Waffleloffle]

fun idea but I don't trust 50% of clowns to be normal about adding or removing items from their pants

[Lord_earthfire]

fun idea but I don't trust 50% of clowns to be normal about adding or removing items from their pants

Oh for fucks sake, i didn't even thought about that. I think taking out stuff like bananas out of your pants gives the perfect beginning for inappropriate jokes.

Which is kinda sad, because i like the idea in general.

[Dhaidburt]

Could also be that clowns have teamed up with wizards to create enchanted clownpants that allow you to interact with your own clownspace, and you take each thing out in impossible ways. Like, for the balloon you start coughing until a balloon filled with helium just pops out of your mouth, or for the arm it just FALLS OFF before your actual arm comes out of your sleeve!

[Kotlol]

In my opinion... we also need another clown inventory... one that's abit more in the open and easy to steal from...

I am talking about the juggling items. Since I do not know how to grab an item from my juggling pile unless I stop or fall down.

[Mouse]

AS IT TURNS OUT no amount of training will prevent the monkey from eating the bananas, so those are right out.  However, we at HonkTek somehow completely managed to forget to mention that the COMICALLY OVERSIZED TROUSERS can contain CLOWN SHOES, a CLOWN MASK, and a CLOWN SUIT.1

1 Attempting to put the COMICALLY OVERSIZED TROUSERS into itself is not recommended.


But in all seriousness I'd be alright with a flyer advertising the nonexistent pants.

[PowerfulXtian]

i am deeply saddened by how such a great idea can be ruined by the maturity of certain people...

[Kotlol]

i am deeply saddened by how such a great idea can be ruined by the maturity of certain people...

Don't get me wrong it is a good idea and very clowny... wich is why I recommend the juggling system insted.