Best moments ever thread 2.0

[enforcer9]

PDA hacking may very well be the most under used useful thing in this game.

I started the round as a miner but didn't feel like mining so I went to the station and picked up a network cart for the hell of it. Using my knowledge of packets I hacked my way around the station.

I started the shift as a simple miner with naught but the overalls on his back.
I ended the shift as the king of the station with the rank of super captain, the detectives thermals, the AI's laws in my favour and the engine shutdown.

Not once did I break into anywhere or steal anything. Everything was handed to me, the ID, the thermals. I even had the AI open the doors and disable the turrets in its upload for me.
The PDA is truly the most powerful weapon.

I swindled the station of everything.

PDA hacking was the only thing I did for like a full month, good times.

[Conor12]

The battle of Security vs. Remy the rat

Spoiler!

Chef Buttes pets Remy!
Dr. Pritchard throws the mousetrap (Property of Papal Feline).
Fox Mulder [135.9] says, "CODE BLUE ROUGE RAT"
Remy punches out Papal Feline!
Remy devours Papal Feline in one bite!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Conor The Doomed says, "Jesus, it ate a man"
Tate Kuster says, "it must die"
Mister Chike says, "GET BACK"
you set the output to laser.
Remy starts chasing Tate Kuster!
Mister Chike says, "REMY'S GONE FERAL"
Remy has been hit by Tate Kuster with the emergency oxygentank
Remy starts chasing Tate Kuster!
Conor The Doomed says, "oh god it survived laser shots"
Chef Buttes accidentally steps on the mousetrap.
Remy punches out Tate Kuster!
Fox Mulder punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Fox Mulder punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Remy punches out Fox Mulder!
Tate Kuster says, "SAVE ME"
Remy devours Fox Mulder in one bite!
Remy starts chasing Chef Buttes!
Conor The Doomed punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Conor The Doomed!
Tate Kuster says, "OH GOD HELP"

It finally dies after many hits.

Chef Buttes says, "rip"
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "RIP"
Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "his stomach burst"
Dr. Pritchard [145.9] says, "THE CAPTAIN HAS VALIANTLY SLAIN THE RAT"
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "He was a worthy foe"
Dr. Pritchard [145.9] says, "HOWEVER IT ATE ALMOST ALL OF SEC"
Chef Buttes says, "lmao"

I then take a knife and gut Remy.

Conor The Doomed loads Remy meat into the Deep Fryer.
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "I ate the beast to gain it's power"

[Daeren]

Admin PM from-Dr. Cogwerks: WOULD YOU LIKE A MOUSETRAP AND A VX GRENADE
Reply PM to-Dr. Cogwerks: YES I WOULD

Ensign Daeren says, "okay over here"
Ensign Daeren says, "cogwerks gave me the best present"
You prime the grenade! 3 seconds!
Ensign Daeren says, "RUN"
The mixture quickly turns into a pall of smoke!
Ensign Daeren says, "RUN"
Oddball Stroble says, "whsa oh go"
Oddball Stroble says, "what on earth"
Oddball Stroble asks, "is that?"

HELP: You: i would say i regret this
HELP: You: but i really dont

Objective #1: Do not commit a violent act all round - punching someone, hitting them with a weapon or shooting them with a laser will all cause you to fail. Success

[Klayboxx]

The battle of Security vs. Remy the rat

Spoiler!

Chef Buttes pets Remy!
Dr. Pritchard throws the mousetrap (Property of Papal Feline).
Fox Mulder [135.9] says, "CODE BLUE ROUGE RAT"
Remy punches out Papal Feline!
Remy devours Papal Feline in one bite!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Conor The Doomed says, "Jesus, it ate a man"
Tate Kuster says, "it must die"
Mister Chike says, "GET BACK"
you set the output to laser.
Remy starts chasing Tate Kuster!
Mister Chike says, "REMY'S GONE FERAL"
Remy has been hit by Tate Kuster with the emergency oxygentank
Remy starts chasing Tate Kuster!
Conor The Doomed says, "oh god it survived laser shots"
Chef Buttes accidentally steps on the mousetrap.
Remy punches out Tate Kuster!
Fox Mulder punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Fox Mulder punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Remy punches out Fox Mulder!
Tate Kuster says, "SAVE ME"
Remy devours Fox Mulder in one bite!
Remy starts chasing Chef Buttes!
Conor The Doomed punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Conor The Doomed!
Tate Kuster says, "OH GOD HELP"

It finally dies after many hits.

Chef Buttes says, "rip"
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "RIP"
Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "his stomach burst"
Dr. Pritchard [145.9] says, "THE CAPTAIN HAS VALIANTLY SLAIN THE RAT"
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "He was a worthy foe"
Dr. Pritchard [145.9] says, "HOWEVER IT ATE ALMOST ALL OF SEC"
Chef Buttes says, "lmao"

I then take a knife and gut Remy.

Conor The Doomed loads Remy meat into the Deep Fryer.
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "I ate the beast to gain it's power"

You forgot the fact I took away my security teams tasers and stun batons and swapped them out with Banana Technology™ AKA a banana peel for a taser, a banana as a baton, and a donut for handcuffs.

[Conor12]

The battle of Security vs. Remy the rat

Spoiler!

Chef Buttes pets Remy!
Dr. Pritchard throws the mousetrap (Property of Papal Feline).
Fox Mulder [135.9] says, "CODE BLUE ROUGE RAT"
Remy punches out Papal Feline!
Remy devours Papal Feline in one bite!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Conor The Doomed says, "Jesus, it ate a man"
Tate Kuster says, "it must die"
Mister Chike says, "GET BACK"
you set the output to laser.
Remy starts chasing Tate Kuster!
Mister Chike says, "REMY'S GONE FERAL"
Remy has been hit by Tate Kuster with the emergency oxygentank
Remy starts chasing Tate Kuster!
Conor The Doomed says, "oh god it survived laser shots"
Chef Buttes accidentally steps on the mousetrap.
Remy punches out Tate Kuster!
Fox Mulder punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Fox Mulder punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Fox Mulder!
Remy punches out Fox Mulder!
Tate Kuster says, "SAVE ME"
Remy devours Fox Mulder in one bite!
Remy starts chasing Chef Buttes!
Conor The Doomed punches Remy!
Remy starts chasing Conor The Doomed!
Tate Kuster says, "OH GOD HELP"

It finally dies after many hits.

Chef Buttes says, "rip"
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "RIP"
Chef Buttes [145.9] says, "his stomach burst"
Dr. Pritchard [145.9] says, "THE CAPTAIN HAS VALIANTLY SLAIN THE RAT"
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "He was a worthy foe"
Dr. Pritchard [145.9] says, "HOWEVER IT ATE ALMOST ALL OF SEC"
Chef Buttes says, "lmao"

I then take a knife and gut Remy.

Conor The Doomed loads Remy meat into the Deep Fryer.
Conor The Doomed [145.9] says, "I ate the beast to gain it's power"

You forgot the fact I took away my security teams tasers and stun batons and swapped them out with Banana Technology™ AKA a banana peel for a taser, a banana as a baton, and a donut for handcuffs.

We had all six people in the security force watching a banana plant grow. A good round.

[Daeren]

There's a new telescience area.

Ensign Daeren [Log] "Craptain's log. Stardate whatever."
Ensign Daeren [Log] "I got my shades, I got my chainsaw, I got my sandwich, I’m ready to go."

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "it's hot as BALLS outside, i mean damn"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "nearly choked to death on superheated co2"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "also theres an old outpost or something, abandoned"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "and a lava ocean"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "oh man a corpse"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "better deal with that"

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "went outside. went back inside. found a dude split in half. grody."

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "found a bottle of potassium iodide"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "THATS not ominous"

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "found a burnt-ass corpse with a fedora"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "good, fuck whoever was wearing a fedora in a volcano"

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "found a bunch of ancient alien shit"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "that guy with weird bird hair nowhere to be seen"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "also some sort of evil-looking droid thing is eyeing up a dude"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "and jujst fried him"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "welp"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "time to run"

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "a bunch of panels and lasers and shit are opening doors and robots want me dead"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "pretty spooky"

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log, it's a fucking button puzzle"

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log. found another log. a woman apologizing and asking an Amy to be good."
Ensign Daeren [Log] "this ain't creepy at all, no sir."
Ensign Daeren [Log] "there appears to be a moral about not touching things. God help me if i'm ever going to pay attention to anything telling me NOT to rub my face all over the unknown."
Ensign Daeren [Log] "also, that bottle of potassium iodide? probably gonna come in handy."

Ensign Daeren [Log] "craptain's log"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "FUCK ME this place is confusing to navigate"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "OH GOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "BIG ROTOR IS MAKING A ROBOT"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "ZACK RUN"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "gold what are you DOING"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "OW FUCK"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "it keeps shooting lightning at us!"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "i will ifi can rube"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "OH GOD"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "THERES NO FUCKING POTASSIUM IODIDE IN THE BOTTLE"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "CURSE YOU PREVIOUS PEOPLE"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "justin"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "what was your idea"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "BREAK THE ENGINE"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "FUCKING BREAK IT"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "DESTROY IT"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "hhheelllppp mmee"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "HEEEELLPP MEEE"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "HHEELP MMEE"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPP"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEQQQQQQQQQQPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ------- BBBBAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRRGGGGG BBAAAAHHRRRGGGG BAAAAHHHHHGGGG!!!!!!!,,,, AALLLLLRRRRIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFF??"
Ensign Daeren [Log] "LLLLLLLMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAHH IIIIINNNNNNIIIIIIFFFFFF"

Kaylee Kuznetsov [145.9] says, "Crew, a moment of silence for Ensign Daeren. He died as he lived, gibbering and screaming like a lunatic."
Kaylee Kuznetsov [145.9] says, "And so he shall be given a Metal Funeral"
Kaylee Kuznetsov screams!
Kaylee Kuznetsov cries.
Kaylee Kuznetsov [145.9] says, "Goodbye, Daeren."
Ensign Daeren (as ) falls into the Lava and melts away!

[Readster]

I was the first to kill a room full of people in researches new test chamber.
As a traitor CE I welded many people exploring the new room inside and flooded it with plasma. With a single spark the room erupted in flames and I laughed as I watched them through the window, all of them crying and pleading to be saved. I take no prisoners.
Mwahahaha

[CaptainBravo]

terrorism

S.H.I.T. [145.9] states, "The telescience expedition was a total failure, I can tell you that for a fact."

rip the fun

[CaptainBravo]

meanwhile, later that day: made a few bottles full of ephedrine and meth and kicked the shit out of people in the boxing ring

drugs are for winners

[Readster]

I filled every inch of the test chamber with black powder, flooded the room with plasma and threw a lighter inside.
The entire room was wrecked.
The Crystal windows couldn't hold out.
The whole area flooded.
The zombie on the operating table was only severely burned.
Life of a scientist.

[Klayboxx]

Chef Buttes attempts to feed Sir William Haines the fried 200 Credits.
Chef Buttes feeds Sir William Haines the fried 200 Credits.
Sir William Haines finishes eating the fried 200 Credits.
Chef Buttes twirls his moustache and laughs hauntingly!
Sir William Haines says, "Oh my."
Chef Buttes dances!
Sir William Haines has been shot pointblank with the revolver by Chef Buttes!

[Shoddy]

the anticipation of the boom.



The aftermath, with hilarious wizardly timing.

[Conor12]

And I was the one dude saying 'You're all going to die' while you stared at a bomb in fire.

Then I went to chemistry where the bomb hit me anyway.

Good work hitting the wizard though.

[Weavel]

17 chemical agents found.
weird cheese - 2
tomato juice - 2
Water - 2
oil - 2
blood - 2
synthetic flesh - 2
cheese - 2
pepperoni - 2
carbon - 2
radium - 2
vomit - 2
urine - 2
firefighting foam - 2
egg - 2
green vomit - 2
chocolate - 2
Water - 20

You dissolve the GROSS pill in Styptic Reserve Tank.

[Shoddy]

Boris Caralarm says, "It's on."
Dr. Swedlokim says, "ahem"
Edison Lootin [145.9] says, "AI, door"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "this is test #1"
Boris Caralarm says, "But I can't think of anything. Tell them I said something cool."
Dr. Swedlokim says, "we are testing to see if the human body can withstand plasma gas fire for two minutes"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "our control"
Kitty2.0 [145.9] states, "Alexi Romanov has signed up as Staff Assistant."
Dr. Swedlokim says, "Boris Caralarm"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "has volunteered for the test"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "Beggining test"
Dr. Swedlokim [145.9] says, "AI"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "AI"
Boris Caralarm says, "Feeling OK so far."
Dr. Swedlokim [145.9] says, "blow the lights on the testing room APC"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "blow the lights on the testing room APC"
You disconnect Canister [Toxin (Bio)] from the port.
You connect Canister [Toxin (Bio)] to the port.
Boris Caralarm says, "My mouth feels kinda nasty though."
Dr. Swedlokim says, "there we go"
Dr. Swedlokim [145.9] says, "thanks AI"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "thanks AI"
Boris Caralarm says, "Ok, it just got bad."
Dr. Swedlokim [145.9] says, "you might've just caused some harm to a human though"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "you might've just caused some harm to a human though"
Dr. Swedlokim [145.9] says, "look in the chamber"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "look in the chamber"
Kitty2.0 [145.9] states, "I apoligize."
Dr. Swedlokim exclaims, "turn off that shower!"
Boris Caralarm gasps.
Dr. Swedlokim says, "the test is being disrupted"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "the shower will not saved you"
Boris Caralarm shakes Boris Caralarm trying to wake Boris Caralarm up!
Dr. Swedlokim says, "you will suffocate"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "and the hea will burn your lungs"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "you are fucked"
Boris Caralarm gasps.
Dr. Swedlokim says, "Note: testing seems to creat an acute aspyhxiation in subjects"
Bob Loblaw [145.9] asks, "Do we have a HoP?"
[b]Dr. Swedlokim says, "perhaps it is the burning of the oxygen in the room by the fire"
Boris Caralarm gasps.
Bernard Grant [145.9] says, "Yeah, he's at medbay."
Bob Loblaw [145.9] asks, "Hurt?"
Bernard Grant [145.9] says, "Nope, just dragging a dead guy."
Dr. Swedlokim says, "the subject's survival insticts have kicked in, but he will soon suffocate and the heat will burn him to death"
Bob Loblaw [145.9] says, "Ok then... well I wanted a job change"
Boris Caralarm gasps.
Dr. Swedlokim says, "Boris"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "please turn off that damn shower"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "it's preventing a t- oh he just went unconcious"
Dr. Swedlokim says, "well..."
Dr. Swedlokim says, "i think this test has conclusively shown that staff assistants are averted to fire, and will attempt anything to get out of the area where fire is generally."[/b]