Ideas of questionable quality

[LuigiThirty]

how do we not already have something called the singularibee WHAT IS WRONG WITH US

[Vitatroll]

The click-drag uniform thing sounds good, even if I'd miss the wardrobe malfunctions. Some clothes already have alternative states, but you have to use a verb to get them.

[fosstar]

The old medkit should have a old diagnosis kit in it, so you need to spend 2 minutes diagnosing a patient and decoding obscure info if you want to use it. Each of these tools would take about 20-30 seconds to use and would have a 10% chance of failure, for instance with the ecg you could accidentally shock yourself with it. This diagnosis kit would contain:

* miniature ECG (Takes 30 seconds to set up, fails by either shocking the person setting it up or the patient, when turned on, shows a sinus rhythm if you're healthy, accelerated sinus rhythm with T-Wave inversion if you're in shock, ST elevation if you have cardiac disease from eating burgers, Atrial fibrillation if you're in cardiac failure, and ventricular fibrillation if you're in cardiac arrest)

* blood pressure cuff (Measures the same blood pressure as a health analyzer, fails by having the cuff pump attachment fly off and rocket around the room, like the strangelet loaf)

* Stethoscope (Which would show regular breaths if you're healthy, Fast breaths if you have at least 20 oxygen damage or you're on drugs, Labored breathing if you have at least 40 oxygen damage, Rapid irregular breathing if you're in crit, Stridor if you're having a histamine reaction, Slow breathing if you're on certain drugs or you're sleeping, and loud spasms if you're poisoned with sarin. Fails by stabbing the user in the ear with the earpiece)

* a Ophthalmoscope ( it would show extremely dilated pupils if you've taken meth/crank in the last 10 minutes, red eyes if you've taken pot in the last 10 minutes, pinprick eyes if you've taken morphine or the like, bloodshot, discolored pupils if you've welded without glasses, and white, clouded pupils if you're blind, along with some way to tell if you have cybereyes.)

* a Otoscope. (For the ears it would show a fluid filled eardrum if you have the cold, a burst eardrum if you have hearing troubles, and severe ear canal occlusion if you're totally deaf.

The last two would fail by either temporarily blinding/deafening the patient by stabbing them in the ears/shining the light too brightly into their eyes)

* a "high speed" (Takes 30 seconds) blood test kit that detects the most common chems on the station, contains syringe (take a blood sample, drip the blood onto the tester and if it turns green, the blood has deadly posion, red for less deadly stuff like ether, yellow for histamine, blue for drugs, and cyan for other. Fails by detecting non-existent stuff)

* and a magnifying glass (Injury check tool, clicking on a person shows the injury,
brute 0-20 would be a "few scratches", 20-40: "multiple bruises and scratches", 40-80: "severe abrasions and jagged cuts", 80-infinity: "Horrible abrasions and Avulsions with multiple penetration wounds".

burn damage: 0-10: "localized redness" 20-40: "Pale white skin with blistering" 40-80: "Stiff, pale, horribly scarred skin" 80-infinity: "carbonized, horribly scarred skin with some tissue sloughing off"

toxin damage: 0-20: "Cold, highly sweaty skin" 20-40: "Clammy skin with slight discoloration" 40-80: "Highly discolored skin with pockmarks and jaundice" 80-infinity: "dry, lesion coated skin with discoloration and cysts"

oxygen damage: 0-20: "pale, flushed skin" 20-40: "slightly blue, pale skin with severe discoloration in the lips" 40-infinity: "Clammed up, gray, stiff skin".

Not adding a failure condition for this because it just seems dumb)

If you have any suggestions for making this more cumbersome and dumb please share them!

Note, this would be inside the old medkit and possibly the medbay as a RP tool or something, not any new medkits.

[locusts]

Put the station naming program in the Clown's PDA.

[fosstar]

Put the station naming program in the Clown's PDA.

yes

[Wraithcraft]

honk butt butt honk platform

[warcrimes]

have the headsurgeon bot post in random threads here

[NateTheSquid]

have the headsurgeon bot post in random threads here

[Technature]

Implement a Rad Gun.

This gun was the coolest thing back in the 1990's, and can be yours once again!  This gun (equipped with cool hat and skateboard because of course) fires off bullets little faces with sunglasses that do brute damage, not because they pierce the skin (because they don't), but because their Cool and Radical language tends to make people go wack when they hear it (getting hit makes you hear radical language dude).  Just ask your local skateboard dealer.

[LuigiThirty]

As a mednerd I think the Shitty Old Medkit idea is great and deserves its own thread.

[awfulworldkid]

I second the old medikit idea, but have the ECG/EKG occasionally show a delta wave for no apparent reason. Scare people into thinking they have an uncommon heart disorder with your shitty equipment!

[atomic1fire]

In one of my first security rounds, I spawned in, got all my gear together, stepped out in to the hallway, clicked my jumpsuit and dropped all of my weapons, tools and ID directly on to the floor in-front of the gathered assistants.

I just stood there nude trying to grab all my junk while they robbed me. Not my finest hour!

inspired by this, and realising i've accidentally stripped way more than i have intentionally,

why not make jumpsuits drag-to-hand-to-remove like backpacks, since they're a rather high importance item?

honestly not a bad idea

This also opens up the option of one click interactions with your jumpsuit. You could give it a larger store of items with the pockets acting as quick access item slots. Or you could have a click to toggle alternative styles, like you you can have some coats buttoned or unbuttoned.

harm intent on sec uniform for panic alarm.

[PlainInsane]

make lava a reagent.

[locusts]

Add special handcuffs that allow you to arrest wraiths, forcing them to stay corporeal, so that they can be detained and brought to Centcom.

[Haprenti]

make lava a reagent.

And a related material for special lava floortiles