Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Sov]

Yesterday I the captain and was setting up the engine when my PDA exploded, along with the pdas of many others. I quickly ran to the computer room where I found and tased Horse Horsington the mechanic planning to question him under suspicion of use packet magic to harras my crew

Before I could start though I noticed the terrifying sight of all his computer equipment rapidly spinning. It was at this point I knew he was in fact a witch. I screamed and fled the room warning the crew of the threat to the station.

Not long after the witch began to summon it's servants to destroy us. It created portals across the station that allowed horrific monsters like mimics and space wasps into our home where they terrified the crew. Only then did the crew believe me that a witch was aboard.

Eventually someone managed to destroy the witches portal network hidden on the solar array. At this point I thought us safe. Suddenly however a new horror manifested, the radio grew loud with the cries of Yee Yee yee. The witch had cast some of spell and filled medbay with so much liquid yee that it began to fill the halls.

Soon the entire crew had been transmogged into a race of horrific yee lizards. Centcomm apparently having seen what had become of us sent in a tactical chaos dunk to purge the yee from the station

In end however the witch chaos brought the station to its yee ridden knees. Many yee lizards escaped to centcomm where the threat I imagine continues to spread...

[Nnystyxx]

https://hastebin.com/inokalujuj.erl
I called for a Space D&D session in the Chapel. Our host: Spraynard Kruger. Our attendees: Sybil, Throrvardr, me, and Ms. Licorice. Our body count: Higher than you'd expect.

I kept the syntax highlighting from Hastebin cuz it shows speech easily. This chatlog has been trimmed for radio chatter and linebreaks.

[Sov]

https://hastebin.com/inokalujuj.erl
I called for a Space D&D session in the Chapel. Our host: Spraynard Kruger. Our attendees: Sybil, Throrvardr, me, and Ms. Licorice. Our body count: Higher than you'd expect.

I kept the syntax highlighting from Hastebin cuz it shows speech easily. This chatlog has been trimmed for radio chatter and linebreaks.

This is awesome. Now I want to play space dnd

[Lady Birb]

I pet a tiny, sentient singularity last round. It was warm and soft.

[Lady Birb]

We just had a mixed round that had a traitor, a vampire, a spy, and a changeling at roundstart, as well as a random event blob later on. I was the changeling, and after eating two suiciders and one braindead, I went into genetics when it was open and gave myself hulk, allowing me to break into the armory. After this, I successfully lured three people to their doom, one of them the captain, by telling them I broke into the armory, asking if they wanted sweet loot, and then after they followed me into the armory, I stung and ate them. Then, in the bar, I saw a very on fire person desperately running to the showers. I followed them while spraying them with an extinguisher to gain their trust, then once they were alone and not on fire, I stung and ate them. They told me they also had a robusttec implant in their backpack, so I took that too. Then I lured another person into the armory, who, after I ate them, turned out to be a traitor who had not spent any telecrystals, so they told me how to unlock their uplink, and I ordered five microbombs and a wrestling belt, because NOBODY EXPECTS THE WRESTLE-LING. Then I went onto the shuttle, and as the only one with bridge access from the captain I absorbed earlier, I brought the only security officer into the shuttle cockpit with me. After the shuttle launched, I fucked their shit up with my combined changeling and wrestler powers and absorbed them, causing a trio of ruffians to break into the cockpit to fight me. I went horror form, big battle happened, I got put into crit after the shuttle reached centcom, succumbed, and blew up the people attacking me with my microbombs. The most fun I have EVER had in any of my antagonist rounds, and probably in any non-admingimmick round.

[Grifflez]

The following took place during a Disaster Round, on the escape shuttle

Dexter Grifflez says, "GOD DAMN IT HONKO"

Honko Bluwnes brings an angry automaton into the shuttle medbay where I was hiding like a coward, trapping us both behind it's immovable body.

(Whole lot of people fighting shuttle wendigos and the automaton)

Dexter Grifflez says, "YOU'VE DOOMED US"

Dexter Grifflez says, "THAT IS A BOMB"

The Automaton changes targets, moving to attack Harry Horry Biovir, freeing Honko and I as an artifact bomb teleports in.

Honko Bluwnes punches the automaton!

Dexter Grifflez points to the quirky machinery. x4

(Misc. fighting, bloodshed, strelka shooting up the place)

I push the artifact bomb out of a broken shuttle window, but the automaton traps me!

You repair the broken grille.

The automaton leaps at Dexter Grifflez! x4

Dexter Grifflez says, "FUCK IT"

I decide I won't make it back into the shuttle under these conditions and push the bomb further into space, shoving it far enough to reach the cogmap1 solar panels near the mining shuttle dock.

The automaton smashes Dexter Grifflez!

(Bomb is 'safely' away from the escape shuttle now)

The Emergency Shuttle has left for CentCom! It will arrive in 2 minutes!

Dexter Grifflez screams!

You feel terrible!

You begin to recover.x2

Dexter Grifflez raises both of his middle fingers.

You feel numb!

You begin to recover.

The quirky machinery reaches critical energy levels!

You hear muffled speech... but nothing is there...

The bomb detonates, deleting a good chunk of the space station and the survivors that didn't make it onto the escape shuttle.

The steel-reinforced glass window was hit by Dexter Grifflez's synthetic left arm.

The steel grille was hit by Dexter Grifflez's synthetic left arm.

The steel-reinforced glass window was hit by the blood-stained toupée.

The steel grille was hit by the blood-stained toupée.

The steel-reinforced glass window was hit by Dexter Grifflez's right leg.

The steel grille was hit by Dexter Grifflez's right leg.

HEROIC END

[YoukCat]

Just before that, I, the GREAT and GLORIOUS TROLLGAR KICKED THE SERVER AND CAUSED A DISASTER ROUND!

AND I HAD ALSO GOTTEN THE NUKE DISK!

[Fenriswolf1991]

Yesterday, a round on Mushroom, the admins turned the space into an ocean. I was a traitor mechanic, slowly flooding the station by opening every airlock, just to get on the crew´s nerves. The captain then installed drains, so I decided to smash in some windows, but to no effect. I don´t know if it was the drains or if the "ocean" just floods in from airlocks and doors, so the only thing I did was depressurizing one hallway. I then decided to get my traitor gear on, hid in the pod bay and bought a wrestling belt and a microbomb. 

Throrvardr, as a doctor I think, came by and saw me picking up my stuff and the rest of the round we were locked in sort of a battle of the masterminds. Due to lag and because it was the first time ever I used a wrestling belt, Throrvardr was able to incapacitate me and weld me into a locker from which I broke out a few moments later, just to be trapped in a more complicated system of lockers, broke out with my tools, got fucked over by beepsky and trapped again by Thror with even more lockers, etc.

At this moment it wasn´t even my goal to kill anyone, just enjoying the hilariousity of escaping and getting caught again. Eventually, the detective put an end to my shenanigans by shooting me with lethal ammo, just a few moments before the shuttle arrived. I killed nobody as traitor, but it was really worth it.

[NateTheSquid]

This one is an old story, but a damn good one. Settle in, clowns.

Way back when, in my early-ish days of clowning, when I was learning to be robust, we had an event that an admin or two ran (I cannot remember any names of anyone who was in this round). Before the round started, there was an announcement about the syndicate buying the station, and it had gotten a makeover, and all staff were now syndicates. Upon roundstart, the entire station was painted as red as the admins could get it before the round started. All windows were red, most doors, space, some glass, etc.

I joined as a clown, and this was back when I had random appearance on. I had a big white beard, so I named myself 'santa clown'. After clowning around for a while, the syndicate announced they had bought some equipment for the crew, and there were about 30 sets of red space suits in the chapel suddenly. I swung by and grabbed one, obviously. The entire round, the QM's had been spending all their money on paint crates, then painting everything with the red paint cans, and dumping the rest on the floor of cargo. The PTL had been turned on quite powerfully and routinely shoved back into cargo to allow more paint.

I walked past QM to steal some paint, looking to cause chaos. A QM ran out and hit me with a rainbow paint can, which, by some bizarre twist of fate, turned me blue. We both paused, on this station completely painted red, looking at me, a blue clown. He then screamed "NanoTrasen spy!" and ran back into cargo. I decided to walk around, which incited more yells of being an NT agent, and me running away before anything could happen. Eventually, both the AI and the syndicate themself announced my existance. The syndicate said I had to be caught.

And hence the chaos began. Every other person I saw would chase me yelling something about NT. I deftly started slipping people left and right with my banana peel and sometimes a sneaky pie to the face. At some point, the station itself was hacked by the syndicate to attack me, and electrical devices started shocking me (at first they put me into crit near-instantly, but I was revived using admin magic sheer determination) which would stun for a short time. While fending off a syndicate wielding a c saber, I realized the lightning bolts would aim for me, but hit the first thing in the way, so I started using the syndicate station to attack the syndicates themself. (shortly after the bolts stopped attacking me)

After a decent amount of time robusting everyone, there was an announcement that the PTL had been converted to a syndicate laser to blow up centcom, and the syndicates had to make sure it stayed on. I realized it was my role as a not-so-secret agent for NT that I had to disable the laser. I rushed over with tools in hand to break in and shut off the PTL, only to be met by multiple syndicate agents guarding the place. Every door was welded and shocked (i had stolen insulated gloves however), and upon entering the area I was met with a barrage of phaser shots, it seemed the syndicate mechanics had been handing them out. I managed to slip an eager syndicate who chased after me and take two phasers, then ran off to recharge them. I re-entered the engine area, and let loose two phasers worth of shots. I did not intend to hit them, clowns are non-violent of course, but the warning shots were enough to scare most of them back a bit.

I was left with 2 syndicate agents in the way of the PTL, and countless engine hazards past them. One of these agents was the one with the c saber who'd been pissed all round with me slipping him and embarrassingly throwing the saber back to him as I run off. The other was just an op with a shit-ton of phasers. I got rid of the phaser guy by slipping him, throwing him out of the room, and welding the door shut again. Just the guy with the saber left. We stared at eachother for a while, then rushed. I threw a pie, followed by a banana peel, which he just barely avoided. I dodged and duked his saber, which he put away to switch to some phasers. I tripped on my shoes and all the shots flew over me as I recovered. He switched back to the saber. I pulled out my spare banana peel, not having used it until then. I threw it as he rushed me with the saber out, and he tripped. He let out a cry of "Fuck!" as I took it from him, and victoriously putting my pie back in my funny pack.

He expected death, and resigned to his fate. I waited. And waited. He asked what I was waiting for, and I replied: "drama" and threw the saber to the ground and rushed past him to the PTL, welding the door again behind me. He saluted once, then scooped up his saber and retreated. I pushed forward through the burning heat of the engine, and triumphantly switched off the PTL. I retreated away to recover and recharge, just in case. Not long after, the PTL was turned back on, and I knew that I would be unable to simply turn it off again. I switched to the much more dangerous tactic of jamming the PTL with lockers. While putting a locker in the PTL, the saber agent discovered me. We once again had an epic battle involving much attempted use of the saber and much slipping. In the end, he got the advantage, I was injured and lying on the floor, and accepted my fate. I had served NanoTrasen well, and lived a good life. The agent lifted his saber, then threw it directly into the PTL. We both felt the effects of the engine's heat, and both faded in and out of consciousness. While I was out, he dissapeared. I was slowly killed by the heat, unable to escape. The syndicate laser was left on, with no one to contest the destruction of centcom. The syndicate were sent home, their mission complete. Upon arrival at syndicate command (which was of course an exact copy of centcom cause fuck NT), they celebrated the victory, and no one was left to mourn the clown that tried to save NanoTrasen.

[Whoneedspacee]

This one is an old story, but a damn good one. Settle in, clowns.

Way back when, in my early-ish days of clowning, when I was learning to be robust, we had an event that an admin or two ran (I cannot remember any names of anyone who was in this round). Before the round started, there was an announcement about the syndicate buying the station, and it had gotten a makeover, and all staff were now syndicates. Upon roundstart, the entire station was painted as red as the admins could get it before the round started. All windows were red, most doors, space, some glass, etc.

I joined as a clown, and this was back when I had random appearance on. I had a big white beard, so I named myself 'santa clown'. After clowning around for a while, the syndicate announced they had bought some equipment for the crew, and there were about 30 sets of red space suits in the chapel suddenly. I swung by and grabbed one, obviously. The entire round, the QM's had been spending all their money on paint crates, then painting everything with the red paint cans, and dumping the rest on the floor of cargo. The PTL had been turned on quite powerfully and routinely shoved back into cargo to allow more paint.

I walked past QM to steal some paint, looking to cause chaos. A QM ran out and hit me with a rainbow paint can, which, by some bizarre twist of fate, turned me blue. We both paused, on this station completely painted red, looking at me, a blue clown. He then screamed "NanoTrasen spy!" and ran back into cargo. I decided to walk around, which incited more yells of being an NT agent, and me running away before anything could happen. Eventually, both the AI and the syndicate themself announced my existance. The syndicate said I had to be caught.

And hence the chaos began. Every other person I saw would chase me yelling something about NT. I deftly started slipping people left and right with my banana peel and sometimes a sneaky pie to the face. At some point, the station itself was hacked by the syndicate to attack me, and electrical devices started shocking me (at first they put me into crit near-instantly, but I was revived using admin magic sheer determination) which would stun for a short time. While fending off a syndicate wielding a c saber, I realized the lightning bolts would aim for me, but hit the first thing in the way, so I started using the syndicate station to attack the syndicates themself. (shortly after the bolts stopped attacking me)

After a decent amount of time robusting everyone, there was an announcement that the PTL had been converted to a syndicate laser to blow up centcom, and the syndicates had to make sure it stayed on. I realized it was my role as a not-so-secret agent for NT that I had to disable the laser. I rushed over with tools in hand to break in and shut off the PTL, only to be met by multiple syndicate agents guarding the place. Every door was welded and shocked (i had stolen insulated gloves however), and upon entering the area I was met with a barrage of phaser shots, it seemed the syndicate mechanics had been handing them out. I managed to slip an eager syndicate who chased after me and take two phasers, then ran off to recharge them. I re-entered the engine area, and let loose two phasers worth of shots. I did not intend to hit them, clowns are non-violent of course, but the warning shots were enough to scare most of them back a bit.

I was left with 2 syndicate agents in the way of the PTL, and countless engine hazards past them. One of these agents was the one with the c saber who'd been pissed all round with me slipping him and embarrassingly throwing the saber back to him as I run off. The other was just an op with a shit-ton of phasers. I got rid of the phaser guy by slipping him, throwing him out of the room, and welding the door shut again. Just the guy with the saber left. We stared at eachother for a while, then rushed. I threw a pie, followed by a banana peel, which he just barely avoided. I dodged and duked his saber, which he put away to switch to some phasers. I tripped on my shoes and all the shots flew over me as I recovered. He switched back to the saber. I pulled out my spare banana peel, not having used it until then. I threw it as he rushed me with the saber out, and he tripped. He let out a cry of "Fuck!" as I took it from him, and victoriously putting my pie back in my funny pack.

He expected death, and resigned to his fate. I waited. And waited. He asked what I was waiting for, and I replied: "drama" and threw the saber to the ground and rushed past him to the PTL, welding the door again behind me. He saluted once, then scooped up his saber and retreated. I pushed forward through the burning heat of the engine, and triumphantly switched off the PTL. I retreated away to recover and recharge, just in case. Not long after, the PTL was turned back on, and I knew that I would be unable to simply turn it off again. I switched to the much more dangerous tactic of jamming the PTL with lockers. While putting a locker in the PTL, the saber agent discovered me. We once again had an epic battle involving much attempted use of the saber and much slipping. In the end, he got the advantage, I was injured and lying on the floor, and accepted my fate. I had served NanoTrasen well, and lived a good life. The agent lifted his saber, then threw it directly into the PTL. We both felt the effects of the engine's heat, and both faded in and out of consciousness. While I was out, he dissapeared. I was slowly killed by the heat, unable to escape. The syndicate laser was left on, with no one to contest the destruction of centcom. The syndicate were sent home, their mission complete. Upon arrival at syndicate command (which was of course an exact copy of centcom cause fuck NT), they celebrated the victory, and no one was left to mourn the clown that tried to save NanoTrasen.

respect for saber man, he went through an epic redemption arc.

[Drago156]

Well since Nate is bringing up old stories I guess I will too

This wasn't but probably fall 2016, back when I started learning to really robust stuff, and along came some admins, they put everyone into the thunderdome, those who were already dead before then were revived as random staff assistants, the first few rounds were basic critters like space bears and zap bots, large casualties, then we got to the 3rd to final round, lots of spiders, lots of them, we suffered yet more casualties, after that round there was maybe 4 of us left, me included, then the 2nd to final round, space arachnids and wendigos, I stimmed up and c-sabered them down, there was only 3 left I think, and we were to the round before the final one, and this was where it was to end, the arena filled with queen ice spiders and king wendigos, one of us went down immediately, me and the other fought, until the other got tackled by a kind wendigos, then it was just me, with c-saber in hand a maybe 1 or 2 stems left, I bashed and strafed for a good few minutes trying to hold out against this wave of deadly foes, I went down a few times but the admins put me back on my feet, there were maybe 2 queens and 4 kings left when finally 1 of the kings finally tackled me and I died, once into ghost chat I heard the last bit of the ghosts chanting my name and than saying their sad congratulations, the admins awarded me that round with an antag token for my efforts.

[CounterfeitFaker]

The other day as a traitor chef I went around stabbing people with a sleepy pen filled mostly with port, but also some neurotoxin and ketamine.
Eventually my shenanigans came to an end. The HoS caught me and dragged me to Sec and buckled me to a chair before pulling the pen from my pocket and stabbing me with it.

I teleported in and out of Sec's grasp for a bit before it wore off. Unfortunately I was unconscious for most of it because of the tox/keta, or I'd have had a decent chance at escaping.

[Firebarrage]

The other day as a traitor chef I went around stabbing people with a sleepy pen filled mostly with port, but also some neurotoxin and ketamine.
Eventually my shenanigans came to an end. The HoS caught me and dragged me to Sec and buckled me to a chair before pulling the pen from my pocket and stabbing me with it.

I teleported in and out of Sec's grasp for a bit before it wore off. Unfortunately I was unconscious for most of it because of the tox/keta, or I'd have had a decent chance at escaping.

I was that HoS. I'm pretty sure I looked dumbfounded for a second when you just vanished in a poof of sparks. Then I thought for a second, remembered that someone had reported the port, and realized I was a dumbass. Absolutely hilarious though, that's the best prison escape anyone has ever done, and you didn't even have to try.

[LovelyMimic]

Like an hour ago I was a screaming lunatic preacher and the figurehead of some kind of suicide cult, all because ShotgunBill turned the floors invisible and I declared that it was a sign from god. Two or three other people were doing the actual work of convincing people to sacrifice themselves in the chapel (an increasing number of whom were Melody Halftone, who had been handing out stable mutagen pills), so I got to focus on raving over the radio about the will of god. Eventually, the disaster round space background showed up, and I got to really ramp things into high gear:

Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] asks, "Do you feel that sense of... of foreboding?"
Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] says, "that's awe."
Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] says, "what you are feeling is AWE"
Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] exclaims, "Because you have no choice but to be humbled!"
Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] exclaims, "By the gravity of what is about to come to pass!"
Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] says, "HE SHALL PART THE VEIL"
Malaria Von Lucifuge [145.9] exclaims, "AND WE SHALL AT LAST SEE!"

(There was a lot of other good stuff in between that from everyone else on radio but I sadly need to keep this acceptably brief)

Anyways then a portal to hell showed up in the chapel, a shitload of zombies swarmed out, and I got to scream about how the angels of god are taking me home while one of the borgs tried and failed to drag me to safety, and then I was a zombie. The end*.

*For me. The round went on for quite a while. There were like at least three wraiths, too; it was a good time.

[Flourish]

Brought to you by Knower of Things!

We had a really nice radio show (145.9 - The Mix) last night, too, by Daniella Amaryllis (as DJ Camilla Graves), but I forgot to take screenshots.