GET DAT FUKKEN DISK

[Noah Buttes]

I invite the mysterious man who has caught fire to join me in my groovalicious dance towards the escape shuttle waiting lobby.


I honk to the beat of the music while doing so.

[HotCoffeeMug]

nice they wont even know where i went (hopefully) now to get to escape and hide there and look at people.

[Lady Birb]

I remember that syndicate operatives are nonhuman, and begin stabbing New525 in the face with my circular saw.

[New525]

I hold the clowns neck down with my left hand and draw my revolver with the other, and begin to fire every shot into the borgs pathetic little light body

[Winklabom]

I set off to find the clown in order to steal his mask and shoes.

Rumour has it that it's the only way to truly defeat a clown and assert comedic dominance.

[Superlagg]

Oh, I'm not on fire anymore, and my skin stopped falling off. Sweet. I salute Elan three times then do a backflip.

Then Berrik suplexes me into next week.

Superlagg gasps, "TThha----BARF"

I drop the flamethrower and flop on the floor like a fish. When I recover, I'm gonna suplex them BACK into next week!

If I have time, I'm gonna kick the shit outta HotCoffeeMug for being there and being square.

[Vitatroll]

I continue to escape. I attempt to sing Just A Friend, in full Biz Markie fashion. You know, because that's a perfectly normal thing to do.

[pizzatiger]

I put 100% of my Processing power and energy into shunting myself into that nuke, if this doesn't work there is a good chance i will die just from the effort

[a pleasant hug]

Hold up. I fixed it all?! Halfway to the chapel, I turn my dumb ass around, go back to the rebuilt park, and start skating my little heart out.

--Return the divinely-assisted, re-repaired skatepark
--";It's finished! All crew looking to escape the station chaos, feel free to come and calm your tortured souls by busting-out your sickest 900°'s in the brand-new half-grav skatepark!. We got more decks than you can shake a donk pocket at, come claim yours today!"
--Become gnarly.

[Technature]

Bologna Prime (6...wait, what?): With the nuke in your possession, you decide to try one last time to barter for your soul back.
"You have a what?  .........Maybe we can work something out..."
The details are a bit long, but from what you gather, the nuke must be in the QM room until he arrives to pick it up (his estimation is around the same time the escape shuttle arrives.  How inconvenient).  If all goes well, your soul will be relinquished to you.

NesMettaur (4): From what you can tell, half of medbay was too busy at the time trying to figure out a vampire problem that Superlagg began spreading rumors about shouting indiscriminately about to even notice that a teleporter led to the crusher.
You also ask mining to send some materials to mechanics.  (3 minutes until the shuttle arrives)  Mining says they'll send a crate filled with anything they have, but not to expect anything else at the moment.  They're too busy preparing to leave.

Berrik (forced success) vs. Superlagg (self-forced failure): Berrik eventually makes his way to escape and finds Superlagg, i.e. that fucking flamethrower asshole, sitting there.
Berrik decides to suplex Superlagg onto the floor.
The pain that was missing from Berrik's body comes back in full force.

Roomba (3): You fly around escape, screaming your lungs out.  Eventually, the skateboard goes under the table.
Good news, you're now off the skateboard.
Bad news, it took a table to the gut at about 30 MPH to do it.
You lay on the floor, coughing and wheezing your lungs out.

Noah Buttes (5), Lord Birb (6) vs. New525 (3): New can't focus on the clown.  He's too busy being on fire.
The clown doesn't care about this nearly as much, and he gets up and starts honking to non-existant music.  Or maybe he's making the music?
Either way, while New525 is trying to put out the flames, the cyborg stabs New in the throat with a saw.
It'll be easy they said, they're just Nanotrasen's dumbest they said.
New has hit critical health.  It'll be difficult to do anything.
Even weirder, the clown dances his way towards escape.

HotCoffeeMug (6): You quickly and quietly make your way to the nearest bush in the escape waiting room.
Despite the number of people here, absolutely no one saw you enter it.
Nice.

Winkladom (3): You search around for the clown.
In your attempt to find him, you find a cyborg stabbing what is clearly a human with a saw.
The human appears to be on fire.

Vitatroll (5): You make your way to escape while singing Just A Friend, in full Biz Markie fashion, as per station tradition.

pizzatiger (6.........wait, what?): You put every ounce of your effort into becoming the nuke.
You don't just feel like being the nuke, YOU ARE THE NUKE!
You are now the nuke.
How the fuck...?

a pleasant hug (1): You become so ecstatic over the skatepark that you immediately skate around on it.
You wipe out almost immediately.\
This, in itself, causes a hilarious chain reaction which inevitably ends with the skate park destroyed.
At least the hole isn't there again.
Maybe you should have checked everything was stable...

Current situations:
Security Level:NUCLEAR! (Only personnel actively harming the crew or aiding the syndicates are to be dealt with)
Disk Location: NesMettaur
Nuke Location: QM Office
Time til Nuke Explodes: N/A
Time until the shuttle arrives:2 minutes.
Fluke Ops Incoming: Not only is Awfulworldkid really bad at this, he was purposefully given terrible plans too.
Competent Medical Staff: Medical actions + for the station.
Rally of war: The captain has aroused the crew into action. + vs. Syndicates.
1 star Wanted:Noah Buttes
3 star Wanted:Superlagg
Station Damage:Armory
Depressurized:Podbay
Engineering, Mechanics, the Bar, the Kitchen, and medbay are open to anyone!
The Janitor's closet is open to anyone except scientists, Chef's, and Bartenders!
The Captain's Quarters is open to All heads of staff!
Hydroponics has been bolted down.
The Ore processing room is bolted open!
Communism (80%) vs. (20%) Anarchy

[Bologna Prime]

I will protect the nuke with all my powers, this is the deal I've been waiting for, and no joker assistant is going to ruin it without a fight.

[NateTheSquid]

i'll grab the box of stinger grenades from the armory and some mousetraps, if they aren't gone already.

[New525]

I use the pain and fire to fuel the {RAGE} TM within my heart and kill the borg stopping my anti clown rage

[Roomba]

Pick myself off the floor and dust myself off while shouting 'I meant to do that!' Then realise I'm still on fire and scream.

[Studenterhue]

Naturally, I scour Science for a health analyzer to precisely measure the exact nature of the chemical burns that have been developing over the past few minutes. Safety last as per SOP.