GET DAT FUKKEN DISK

[NateTheSquid]

";ignore that shitty announcement, no one get on the shuttle. it will have one passenger and his name is Syndie Cate-Nuke"

[Vitatroll]

Oww.. fuck. Okay, I'll just... owww. You usually catch fire at least once a shift, so that ain't all that bad. It's just that usually I'm too high to care. Catapulting your head into a solid ledge? Yeah that one stings.

I woosily doggypaddle to the ladder and climb my way out of the pool. I then crawl across the hallway to the gym and look for a medkit.

[Lady Birb]

I see a clown catch on fire. Not one to let humans come to harm, I get in my shell, go to his location, and spam burn patches on him.

[Bologna Prime]

Upon hearing the captain's plan, I begin to plead. How could this be? The Captain, my hero? How is it that the great Nathan Dunkleman could plan such a betrayal?
"Captain!" I cry out, laser-tears in my eyes, "How could you think to do such a thing? To fall into the syndicate's web and turn against CentCom?" I fall into a heroic pose of grief. "What about all your fellow captains? Those heroic green men and women, would you really invoke their annihilation? Where do you think we get all our MONEY from, Captain? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT THE MONEY!? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IF I CAN'T GET MY SOU- I MEAN, ASSETS, FROM MY SPECIAL CONTACTS!?" Instead of the previous course of action, I will use this minute to deal with the internal conflict of losing my greatest idol.

[Noah Buttes]

BURN BABY BURN, DISCO INFERNO.

I boogie down and continue to honk and clown while on fire

[HotCoffeeMug]

well the shuttle wont wait for me so i will flush myself down a toilet if there is one there hoping that i will pop out somewhere near the escape

[Winklabom]

It is not surprising that the head of security would be a capitalist bourgeois. I crack another joke at his expense.

[Superlagg]

Strewth! This vendo sells Donkets! I thought it was only an urban legend told by jackass Heads to make us Assistants look like assholes when they'd steal all the Donks! Huh. Guess they were right. Still, screw them for taking my Donks.

Whoever hacked this machine into vending Donks is the real MVC. Probably an Assistant. Man, Assistants rule.

I swipe my ID, punch in my PIN, and fill every available slot in my inventory with dee-hee-hee-licious Donk Pockets. Then I vend out two more and, before dining upon the perfected breakfast, brunch, and dinner of skags, weens, and wannabees, I toast them to a perfect golden-brown in the radiant heat of my burning flesh. Yum yum, goddamn I love the taste of activated instant omnizine. Luxury Lenny sure knows how to incentivize their customers to consume their products in accordance with manufacturer intent, thus preventing Advertizing from getting pissed off about how reality doesn't bend to their will or something.

Man I should really think about putting myself out. If spacemen could feel pain in any consistent manner, this'd probably sting a bit. It's weird, I could be completely engulfed in flames and standing inside of a Combustion Chamber burning hotter than the bluest of supergiants, yet my jumpsuit would be untouched, my stupid flowing teal locks would look just as rockin' as when I woke up that morning in the cloner, and all the while able to have a calm chat with the Engineer about their day in my brief moment of consciousness. I swear, space does things to people.

I feel the omnizine flowing through the boiling arteries beneath my crispy, crackly, charcoaly skin, diffusing to the surface in a frantic attempt to graft back on what continues to slough off, only feeding more fuel to the fire. The burst, hemorrhaging, mutilated mass in my eyesocket knits back together into a blind, space-filling, creamy-white orb. Gonna need some Orange-Aid.

For a moment, I consider putting myself out with the extinguisher I picked up for exactly this situation. Nah. I'd just catch fire again. Plus, I haven't heard a peep from the Nuclear Bomb Has Been Activated alarm, so chances are, by now, this shift'll be over in a few minutes anyway.

Superlagg [145.9] asks, "Hey medbay, did you catch that vampire yet?"

Heh.

Oh yeah!

Superlagg [145.9] asks, "Throw off the shackles of communism that bind you to a lifetime of indentured servitude under a degreeless authority what promises nothing and delivers even less. Under Anarchy, you are truly free; no masters, no Heads, no laws to oppress nor currency to segregate. You are exactly who you are and nothing less, with nobody to punish you for failing to repressurize the podbay or growing explosive fruit. Don't you deserve that, after all you've been through?"

Almost forgot to continue that dumb anarchy thread. Phew!

I head toward Escape and chill as I burn.

[NesMettaur]

Further research into my lack of bleeding is necessary.

I knock on the window to Genetics and ask if they can figure out why these colors don't run. And I also CTRL+Z my robot arm to a groovy funky beat.

[Roomba]

Set myself on fire in solidarity, then ride to escape in makeshift rocket skateboard while on fire.

[New525]

I decide the clown must have stolen the nuke and continue my search for him

[Technature]

Bologna Prime vs. NateTheSquid (Rank check):"So I've got an idea for how we could sell the nuke for something worthwhile."
"Sell it?  No, I've got a better idea."
"Please?"
"We're gonna send this nuke to Centcomm!"
Both the HoP and the HoS do not seem to agree with this plan.  This may need some convincing.
Bologna, in particular, feels particularily betrayed by this state of affairs (5).  The captain may not be that competent.  Perhaps a revolution is in order?
The spirit of Anarchy rises.

Vitatroll (6): You clumsily get yourself out of the pool in search of a medkit to help with the PAIN.
Oh, what luck.  It seems someone left an all purpose medkit nearby.
You feel healthy as a horse no, healthier even.

Lord Birb (3): That clown appears to be on fire.
Huh.
You activate your borg and head over to the Clown to heal.  However, the Clown not only seems to not care, he also dances to the beat of non-existant music, making it hard to help him.

Noah Buttes (6): Your dancing is so amazing that you don't feel anything from the fire slowly consuming your body.
No fire damage.  Somehow.

HotCoffeeMug (3): You decide to use the plumbing on the station to get closer to the escape shuttle location.
After a bit of crawling, you have no real idea where you are.
You're pretty sure you made no progress to the shuttle.

Winklabom (4): You attempt another joke at the HoS' expense.
It gets some laughs, but it was kinda meh.

Superlagg (3): Despite how long that was, this doesn't look like a lot to do.
You order all the donk pockets you can from the machine.  Apparently, it only has 3 in stock.  You decide to use your current predicament (specifically, being on fire( to your advantage and roast one of the Donks on your head.  After eating it, you feel significantly better.
You decide to ask Medbay if the vampire is dead yet.
Medbay is immediately reminded of why they hate you.
You probably shouldn't expect any medical help from them anytime soon.

NesMettaur (4): Genetics seems to discover that you have strange new strands of DNA in your body called "Adminism".  No one is really sure what it is, but they notice it tends to pop up whenever people inexplicably lose limbs, can't speak, or explode.
You also decide to dance to brighten the mood, but nobody seems to have noticed.

Roomba (6): You decide, against all common sense, to light yourself on fire and ride your rocket skateboard to the escape shuttle.
This goes significantly better than previous attempts would indicate.

New525 (6): You know exactly what happened.
That CLOWN!
THAT FUCKING CLOWN!
YOU'RE GONNA KILL THAT SHIT!
You make your way towards various locations til you find...an odd sight.
The clown appears to be on fire, dancing.  There is a robot following it around, trying to tend to its...condition.
This is clearly some sort of cult bullshit.
(vs. Clown +) You next action against the clown will succeed unless either you roll a 1 or he rolls a 6.

Current situations:
Security Level:NUCLEAR! (Only personnel actively harming the crew or aiding the syndicates are to be dealt with)
Disk Location: NesMettaur
Nuke Location: Science
Time til Nuke Explodes: N/A
Time until the shuttle arrives:4 minutes.
Fluke Ops Incoming: Not only is Awfulworldkid really bad at this, he was purposefully given terrible plans too.
Competent Medical Staff: Medical actions + for the station.
Rally of war: The captain has aroused the crew into action. + vs. Syndicates.
1 star Wanted:Noah Buttes
3 star Wanted:Superlagg
Station Damage:Armory
Depressurized:Podbay
Engineering, Mechanics, the Bar, the Kitchen, and medbay are open to anyone!
The Janitor's closet is open to anyone except scientists, Chef's, and Bartenders!
The Captain's Quarters is open to All heads of staff!
Hydroponics has been bolted down.
The Ore processing room is bolted open!
Communism (80%) vs. (20%) Anarchy

[Berrik]

I am going to head towards escape. If I see that crazy guy with the flamethrower I will suplex him.

[Noah Buttes]

I yell into the radio.

"GET DOWN WITH THE CLOWN!"

I continue to dance like there's no tomorrow because there probably isn't.

[HotCoffeeMug]

toilet time! i continue crawling.