LOUDLY ADVERTISING THINGS THAT DON'T EXIST SINCE 2163

[Nightgunner5]

MARTIAN INVASION MODE
CAN YOU DISCOVER FIRE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE?
DOES PETTING CONSTITUTE A FORM OF ABUSE?
WHY DO ALL OF YOUR DOORS LOOK LIKE ANUSES?
WHY ARE WE YELLING
FIND OUT IN THIS SEASON OF SPACE STATION 13
ONLY ON BYOND
BUY IT NOW FOR SIX NINETY NINE

[mozi]

poo

[Nameless1001]

BUY CLOWN NOSES NOW FOR ONLY 19.99 FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY GET TWO MORE CASES FOR 9.99.

[Nightgunner5]

poo

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE IMPRESSIVE SAVINGS GIVEN TO ME BY NANOTRASEN WASTE DISPOSAL SERVICE-RELATED SERVICES!

FOR JUST EIGHT PAYMENTS OF $59999.99 I CAN GET ALL MY HUMAN, MARTIAN, ORGANIC, NON-ORGANIC, AND CLUWNE-RELATED WASTE REMOVED FROM THE STATION.

AND IT'S FAST! I CALLED THEM UP THREE YEARS AGO AND THEY'VE ALREADY ARRIVED!

YES, GET YOUR NANOTRASEN WASTE DISPOSAL RELATED-RELATED SERVICE-BUTTS TODAY!

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

GET A BRAND SPANKIN' NEW BUTTBOT FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF 499.99 AND GET 50% OFF YOUR NEXT AMUSING DUCK HERE AT RUBE POTTER'S AMAZING ROBOTICS STORE NOW!!!!!!!!

[epicdwarf]

FOR ONLY ONE PAYMENT OF $19.99 YOU CAN MAKE THE STATION SPOTLESS WITH NEW SPACE OXICLEAN!

[BillyMays]

stop stealing my job you jerks

[Furbeh]

HI I AM A TRAINED DWAINE PERSONNEL WHO CAN TURN YOUR WORDS INTO GOD'S WORDS FOR THE LOW PRICE OF 49 CREDITS A WORD! CALL NOW AND I WILL THROW IN A FREE GUARD BUDDY!

[Klayboxx]

fun

[Sundance]

MARTIAN INVASION MODE

COMING SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU
MARTIAN MODE TWO POINT OH!
WATCH THE HORRIFYING CREATURES DIP HILARIOUS GREY-SHIRTS INTO OOZING ACID VATS
... FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN SITTING ROOM!
PREBOOK A BOX-SET OF MARTIAN MODE TWO POINT OH AND GET YOURSELF AN EMACIATED TORTURED MARTIAN HUMAN MINDSLAVE PLUSH TOY ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!*
*offer only applies to customers with a NT loyalty card. NT will not offer refund on the plush toy with product is unsatisfactory

[epicdwarf]

HI EPICDWARF HERE WITH SPONGEWOW!

[Archenteron]

@clown_ebooks