Complaint Goodbye for good

[SonicGamer999]

For context, over a year ago I made a very stupid decision which lead to me getting banned, when I appealed for it the admin who banned me gave the stipulation that any further bans would have no chance of appeal, a few weeks later I got banned again for doing something stupid in the heat of the moment, not even a warning which I guess was understandable because I blurted out an explicitly banned word on the station intercom. 

What is not understandable is how a few days ago, I decided to make an appeal to the ban despite this, knowing that there was a good chance I wouldn’t get unbanned but I felt the need to apologize for my mistakes and make an attempt anyways because I’ve spent the past year thinking back and reflecting on the mistakes I’ve made and trying to better myself as a person, I went out of my way to write a multi-paragraph appeal laying out every mistake I could recall making in my time here, what rules they broke and the explanations for why things happened the way they did as well as how I’ve learned and grown as a person.

I understand the decision taken to deny my appeal because I was told any further ban appeals would be denied way back then, what I don’t understand is how Tarmunora thought it was remotely okay to be so blunt in their denial (screenshot attached) and not even acknowledge anything I even said. when I look at this I see, tone wise, bluntly telling someone to fuck off. I wanted my last interaction with this place to at least be a respectful and understanding one, what I got instead what the internet equivalent of giving a heartfelt apology and getting punched in the gut in response. 

I let myself be emotionally vulnerable when I poured my heart and soul into what I said, and I’m man enough to admit that I cried for a bit after getting shot down so hard. The very rules that I broke to get banned were put in place to make these servers a safe space, but even if I was unbanned I don’t think I’d actually come back now that I know admins are allowed to completely emotionally disregard people like that, if this is supposed to be a safe space then the admins should help facilitate that, because if they can just act like this then I don’t think it’s a very safe place at all.

I’ll always remember and cherish the tales of tomfoolery I have amassed in the short time I did play on this server, and I had fun with each and every person I played with. Before I go for good I want to just say i’m truly sorry to everyone I’ve upset and hurt with my actions, whether it be the things I said or me annoying people asking around for info (I will not lie, I have a problem where I feel the need to get responses/verification multiple times or from multiple people), and if any admin who has contact with them sees this, please tell Virvatuli I’m truly sorry about being such an ass, I’m not a bigoted or hateful person, just an impressionable foul mouthed idiot who doesn’t think before he acts.

I’ll be well and truly leaving this time, you folks will never see or hear from me again (unless any of you go to /tg/ station, there’s a microscopically slim chance I might be there)

Thank you for all the memories

And for the last time

 Thank you for your time

[Mrfishstick]

I can appreciate that you put a lot of time and emotional effort into your appeal but you have to realize that you opting to do that, does not entitle you to the same from a Staff member here.

Some of us have been on this project for well over a decade and every single appeal promises personal growth and rehabilitation. If you actually went through some over the past year I congratulate you. Unfortunately, that growth is not something which entitles you to a special dispensation to have your ban lifted.

You were already offered one chance already and immediately dashed what hope we had of you not causing headaches for us. This is just going to be one of this times where you just need to accept that actions can have lasting consequences that you can’t apologize your way out of.

You’re welcome to appeal again a year or so if you wish but I would strongly suggest not attaching so much emotional importance to a dumb 2d spaceman game and just moving on with your life.

[Bananabits111]

You’re welcome to appeal again a year or so if you wish but I would strongly suggest not attaching so much emotional importance to a dumb 2d spaceman game and just moving on with your life.

For some people, it's not just a dumb 2d spaceman game. It can be so much more than that. The memories you make from it might stay with you for years after you stop playing it. And that's not to mention the people it can help you meet. You guys probably think I hate the game, but there was a point in my life where it was all that was keeping me up.

[Frank_Stein]

(I will not lie, I have a problem where I feel the need to get responses/verification multiple times or from multiple people)

It's good that you can recognize that, because it's the reason you can't be allowed here. We just don't have the kind of energy or resources to accommodate that. 
Best of luck to you, though. I hope you're able to work out those anxieties

I would strongly suggest not attaching so much emotional importance to a dumb 2d spaceman game

If nothing else, take this lesson with you

[SonicGamer999]

(I will not lie, I have a problem where I feel the need to get responses/verification multiple times or from multiple people)

It's good that you can recognize that, because it's the reason you can't be allowed here. We just don't have the kind of energy or resources to accommodate that. 
Best of luck to you, though. I hope you're able to work out those anxieties

I would strongly suggest not attaching so much emotional importance to a dumb 2d spaceman game

If nothing else, take this lesson with you

I knew I said I would be gone for good but I realized something while doing some thinking, I’m not trying to plead my case cuz I realized I don’t really care about getting back on the server, thats just what my brain was rationalizing my self-depreciation on this over the past year as. In reality the reason why I was so upset and emotional over this was because I absolutely despised how my idiot actions may have led some people to believe I was a bad person when in reality I’m just stupid, I really don’t like leaving off with people on a sour note because it makes me feel bad.

So yeah, I got emotional not over a 2d spaceman game, but over the fact that my mistakes painted me as a bad person in people’s eyes and I didn’t get a chance to prove that that isn’t true, my brain was just making me think it was over a 2d spaceman game. 

Thank you Frank_Stein for responding with enough emotional decency to finally make it click in my mind (I have been checking the thread anonymously), The conclusion I needed to come to was just barely out of my reach because I felt like I was being verbally mistreated by the admins here when in reality there was probably no intent whatsoever to throw any salt in any wounds. You guys are all just doing your jobs after all, and my word doesn’t really mean much when the prior records you have of me are of my stupidity.

I just have a few more things to say before I go for good. MrFishStick, it was at least two weeks before I ‘dashed your hopes’, not immediately lol. Virvatuli, I’m sorry for being such a dumbass and leaving a horrible first impression, I hope you can understand that I’m just a moron and not a bigot. Frank_Stein, you’re cool, thank you for helping place the one final piece needed for me to move on proper (even if you didn’t mean it). Tarmunora, I still think you have the emotional tact of a sack of bricks. To all the people I bugged when scrambling for info about my ban, I hope you can forgive me for wasting your time with my antics.

We all make mistakes and I get there are lasting consequences for them too, and so long as you guys understand that I’m not as bad of a person as my mistakes paint me to be, I’ll gladly take the punishment and move on with my life (besides with the B-word being forbidden I was bound to slip up and get banhammered eventually lol).

The folks at /tg/station have given me a chance over there, me and a friend will be starting there in a bit as Joe and Moe Schmoe, the janitor bros. So if you see us be sure to say hi! 

I know I went back on my word and came back again, but this time I can truly leave without animosity. I’ll keep on learning and growing as a person and I can assure you all that the events that transpired here will stick with me for the rest of my life as yet another major learning experience. I just hope that all of you never stop learning and growing as people too.


So one last time (and I really do mean it this time!)

 Thank You For Your Time!