Infernal Contract suggestions hub

[MrMagolor]

After thinking of an idea for an infernal contract, I figured a lot of other people had neat ideas too, so I decided to make this thread.

The one I thought of is: Add "cursed sacred sandals" to the recipient's feet: Sure they'll move super fast and also have noslip, but unless they inject cryostylane and on walk, they'll have a VERY hard time being able to move where they want to be.

[warcrimes]

So like high-level skateboard levels of uncontrollable speed?
sounds like a cursed gift if i've ever heard of one.

here's my pitch: The all-hearing eye.
You hear everything, like a ghost - but you also get all of the other range-based messages like combat, conspicuous movements, etc.
the pros and cons of this mess of visual information should be fairly obvious.

[Nnystyxx]

So like high-level skateboard levels of uncontrollable speed?
sounds like a cursed gift if i've ever heard of one.

here's my pitch: The all-hearing eye.
You hear everything, like a ghost - but you also get all of the other range-based messages like combat, conspicuous movements, etc.
the pros and cons of this mess of visual information should be fairly obvious.

give two people this contract, then the jeweled bracelets for each of them
be amazed as their game crashes instantaneously

[MrMagolor]

So like high-level skateboard levels of uncontrollable speed?

Nah, sacred sandals are fast but not that fast, the not being able to remove them is the curse I'm thinking of

[Frank_Stein]

One that makes each letter you speak a slightly larger font than the last one, until it takes up nearly the entire text screen. Then you explode

[poland spring]

"male enhancement" that hairgibs you or just gives you a big bushy beard

[Superlagg]

Best Friends Forever. Summons a ghost into your body with whom you share full control over your actions and speech. May eventually summon more ghosts if you don't biblefart out of frustration.

[sartorius]

Time Travel: Become an mspaint spaceman from old ss13 with bleeping and blooping sound effects whose messages are in binary
You become a permanently brain-damaged lizard with slow interaction times due to walnut sized brain
Disappear entirely because of time paradoxes
Become super old with deafness, impaired vision, and gassiness
Become an entirely different, randomly created character
You reappear holding a sports almanac and a ton of money is in your account

Wizardry: You get a floppy disk labelled "Wizardry" which is too old to be compatible with anything.
You get a cursed teleport scroll that makes you teleport, but your limbs and organs fall out when you try to use it, and cursed bright pink wizard gear.
You become morbidly obese and get a Stations and Syndicate box.
You become a wizard... that can only cast clairvoyance.
You become a wizard... that can only make people high.