Goonhub
10-22-2014, 11:41 PM
An horrible idea for a disease came to me right the hell out of nowhere, and I decided to post it.
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Name: Rectal Araneae (literally meaning "Ass Spiders")
Virus Speed: slow-acting
Function: Once contracted, this disease would do the following:
Stage 1: Harmless, but you'll get funny flavour text about your butt hurting.
Stage 2: You'll start taking BRUTE damage with each flavour text, which are quite a bit more threatening. You may also fall over from sudden sharp pains in the legs.
Stage 3: Small amounts of Jenkem will start manifesting in your bloodstream. The flavour texts will start giving HUGE FUCKING WARNINGS about your butt hurting horribly and shaking from something inside of it (but you won't take any more damage than before), until finally it flies off a la Rathen's Secret - but instead of being a usable item, it's instead an Ass Spider critter. The disease is "cured" at this point, though you might suffer the effects of a Jenkem overdose if you're particularly unlucky.
Cure: The only conventional cure (not influenced by pathology) is to get your butt removed via surgery before the Ass Spider is allowed to grow.
Pathology Mutations: If not deciding to make a different cure for it, some patho fuckery could be used to make the spider inject different chemicals with its bites.
The Ass Spider would, quite obviously, be a butt of the infectee's colour with eight pointy legs and a pair of mandibles. A robust monster, it behaves pretty much like an Ice Spider except a lot more durable - the difference is that it does not inject Venom, but instead mass amounts of Jenkem. It will tirelessly try to give Jenkem to every player in sight, but will not target people who already have Jenkem in their bloodstream (or are dead)... unless they attack the critter, in which case it will mercilessly hound them until they're in crit. Each bite has a small chance to infect the target with Rectal Araneae, starting the process anew. Also, the Ass Spider is counted as "low to the ground", so shots will fly over it (subject to change).
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Name: Rectal Araneae (literally meaning "Ass Spiders")
Virus Speed: slow-acting
Function: Once contracted, this disease would do the following:
Stage 1: Harmless, but you'll get funny flavour text about your butt hurting.
Stage 2: You'll start taking BRUTE damage with each flavour text, which are quite a bit more threatening. You may also fall over from sudden sharp pains in the legs.
Stage 3: Small amounts of Jenkem will start manifesting in your bloodstream. The flavour texts will start giving HUGE FUCKING WARNINGS about your butt hurting horribly and shaking from something inside of it (but you won't take any more damage than before), until finally it flies off a la Rathen's Secret - but instead of being a usable item, it's instead an Ass Spider critter. The disease is "cured" at this point, though you might suffer the effects of a Jenkem overdose if you're particularly unlucky.
Cure: The only conventional cure (not influenced by pathology) is to get your butt removed via surgery before the Ass Spider is allowed to grow.
Pathology Mutations: If not deciding to make a different cure for it, some patho fuckery could be used to make the spider inject different chemicals with its bites.
The Ass Spider would, quite obviously, be a butt of the infectee's colour with eight pointy legs and a pair of mandibles. A robust monster, it behaves pretty much like an Ice Spider except a lot more durable - the difference is that it does not inject Venom, but instead mass amounts of Jenkem. It will tirelessly try to give Jenkem to every player in sight, but will not target people who already have Jenkem in their bloodstream (or are dead)... unless they attack the critter, in which case it will mercilessly hound them until they're in crit. Each bite has a small chance to infect the target with Rectal Araneae, starting the process anew. Also, the Ass Spider is counted as "low to the ground", so shots will fly over it (subject to change).
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