Goonhub
09-12-2023, 10:24 AM
I'm a traitor scientist on Heisenbee, I do some traitor things involving a duluxe mindhack implant, 300 units of black powder and finally a backpack pipebomb handed to the HoS. This finally gets me arrested and brought to interrogation.
They don't actually have strong evidence I did most of it, and I begin explaining an almost plausible scenario that would have lead me to innocently and unknowingly hand a backpack containing an armed black powder pipebomb to the head of security.
The now cloned HoS Garion cuts me off "Fuck it, Leah you have been bad but I'm not exactly sure how so I'm giving you community service". She marches me to the kitchen and hands me over to the lizard chef, Kela "She stays here until she's made 4 good dishes, okay chef?".
Kela steals my shoes as ransom and lets me go to find ingredients. I run straight to robotics and grab a human brain they had lying around and print a borg head, before being arrested again and returned to the kitchen protesting that I needed ingredients.
"Okay now cook something!"
"Promise me you'll eat it, Garion"
She sighs and agrees to eat whatever I cook.
I cook one brainburger and one roboburger.
"Remember you promised you'd eat it, I worked hard on these!"
"Yes yes, I'll eat your food Leah"
"One for you!" I throw her the brainburger "aand one for the NTSC" I hand him the roboburger.
Garion scoffs hers instantly without looking.
There's a pause. She scans herself.
"Oh"
"PRIONS"
The NTSC does not eat his burger.
Kela hands me back my shoes as we watch Garion being dragged back to medbay.
"I think you earned thessse"
Community service complete!
They don't actually have strong evidence I did most of it, and I begin explaining an almost plausible scenario that would have lead me to innocently and unknowingly hand a backpack containing an armed black powder pipebomb to the head of security.
The now cloned HoS Garion cuts me off "Fuck it, Leah you have been bad but I'm not exactly sure how so I'm giving you community service". She marches me to the kitchen and hands me over to the lizard chef, Kela "She stays here until she's made 4 good dishes, okay chef?".
Kela steals my shoes as ransom and lets me go to find ingredients. I run straight to robotics and grab a human brain they had lying around and print a borg head, before being arrested again and returned to the kitchen protesting that I needed ingredients.
"Okay now cook something!"
"Promise me you'll eat it, Garion"
She sighs and agrees to eat whatever I cook.
I cook one brainburger and one roboburger.
"Remember you promised you'd eat it, I worked hard on these!"
"Yes yes, I'll eat your food Leah"
"One for you!" I throw her the brainburger "aand one for the NTSC" I hand him the roboburger.
Garion scoffs hers instantly without looking.
There's a pause. She scans herself.
"Oh"
"PRIONS"
The NTSC does not eat his burger.
Kela hands me back my shoes as we watch Garion being dragged back to medbay.
"I think you earned thessse"
Community service complete!
I trusted you were REFORMED