Goonhub
10-21-2014, 02:10 PM
So maybe it isn't such a great idea since Cogmap 2 isn't too far off on the horizon, but I was thinking it'd be cool to update the detective's monologues, since they presumably haven't been brought up to speed in a long time. I don't know what it would entail to get them linked to new locations, but I can at least offer some samples. They'll probably end up being too long and a little rambly and let me know if they are, I can try to trim them down, but it's just so fun to write like this.
Hydroponics: Botany. Right, sorry, hydroponics. Nice little out-of-the-way garden, glass windows everywhere so the stars shine in. Not nearly enough light to see by, though, hence the cavalcade of candescence brought on by god only knows how many lights they've got in this place. Gotta simulate that sun somehow, I guess. 'course, if those lights go out, this place turns into a nice little out-of-the-way spot to dump bodies. Or sell drugs, as the case may be. If the Vice on this station wasn't a joke they'd be watching this place like hawks. As it is, this place is a shining example of this station's commitment to dicking around. These jokers could grow enough food to feed everyone in space for years but it's a rare day you'll walk in to find even one of them growing anything other than weed, if anything at all.
Chapel: For being one of the largest open areas on the station, this chapel is usually barren as my grandmother's teat. If there's ever a large group of people in here, odds are you don't wanna know what "God" they're here to worship. Way I understand, most NT personnel worship by way of the cult of the Almighty Dollar, and you better believe there's better places to obtain that kind of "grace" than this spooky-ass shack, Jack. Other than that, there's just the occasional group of nerds hanging out in the corner. Rumor has it there's a secret passageway in the back of this joint.
Disposals: Most of the station's trash comes through here. Supposed to be clean and efficient, which naturally means it's out of the way where nobody has to look at it - except the poor schmuck tasked with picking up the rest of the crap that doesn't make it into the chutes. Not too rare to see human garbage come through here, either; can't count how many assistants have gotten themselves caught in the crusher because they thought it'd be a hoot to take a ride on the tube loop - usually right after causing some big mess somewhere else on the station. Better keep a check on this place. Lot of evidence comes through here, too, and it's best to catch it before it gets turned into so many scraps of metal and blood stains.
Bar: The heart of the station. The sick, booze-drenched, vomit-encrusted heart of the station. Almost every new arrival comes through here on their way off the shuttle. Must be a hell of a first impression. If the bartender isn't back there cooking up any and every drug known and unknown to man, you can bet your ass it won't be long 'til someone's breaking into the bar to do it for him. You might manage to get a burger or two out of the chef, but even if they're working back there, chances are they've got jack shit from the botanists to work with until we figure out how to make decent food out of weed. Easy to find a fight around here, but better to leave those for the rent-a-cops to handle.
Jazz Lounge: Now this is more my speed. Nice, calm, quiet little spot, right around the corner from my office, and most of the freaks on this crew stay away, or they don't linger long. Good taste is hard to come by these days.
Research: The "Research" department. Supposedly the whole reason this floating bio-hazard exists. Ironically, it's one of the likeliest places to contribute to the swift and fiery end of that existence. If the fact that all the geeks in this place wear gas masks all the time wasn't reason enough to distrust them, the fact that they literally have official backing to build bombs and cook up god-knows-what in that chemistry lab sure as hell works against them. The artifact lab is less of a threat than the QM, but they're just as likely to set off some goddamn alien nuke as they are. It's the ones working in the teleporter lab that worry me most, though. There's a lot of shit out there in space. Some of it should fucking stay there.
Pod Bay: The pod hangar. If you ever need to jump ship, this is where you come; not to those duct-taped pieces of shit by escape. If you're lucky, you'll find a space ball that isn't locked. If you're unlucky, you'll find a damn crater from someone setting off all of the damn things in a chain explosion. If you've got particularly shitty luck, you'll run into whoever did it. Still, good to know your escape plans.
Information Room: God damn it, not these poseurs. The "information room" is supposed to be a place for intrepid journalists to gather intel on the station, and if they actually did any of that shit, I'd probably be out of a job. As it is, at best you'll get the occasional hipster or two looking to play panic-button-pusher and spread rumors. Still, the facilities are sound. Might be worth popping in to use them.
QM: Probably one of the most productive places on the whole station. The QMs handle all deliveries coming in and out of the station, so if you need something, you come to them. If they're feeling generous, they'll probably oblige you. If not, you'd best be willing to pay. Not a bad idea to keep checking up on them. If someone wants to order themselves a bunch of guns, going through the QMs is about the best way to do it. With or without their cooperation.
Engineering: The other heart of the station. The one that runs on fucking hellfire and the souls of a million char-broiled assistants. I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to; the combination of shifty-eyed wrench-jockeys, volatile gasses, and enough electrical power to vaporize the fucking universe is not one I want to be anywhere near.
Mining: So Mining's back on the main station, huh? Guess NT didn't want to pay their most profitable workers enough to have their own facilities anymore. Or maybe they just finally sucked all the ore out of the asteroid belt. Still, miners aren't the sort to stick around the station if they can help it. For better or worse, they're a space-bound lot, which pretty much just means that if they die, there ain't a chance in hell I'll be seeing the body any time soon.
That's all I've got for now. The ones for the office and medbay should still probably work alright, but I can't think of new ones for them right now anyway.
Hydroponics: Botany. Right, sorry, hydroponics. Nice little out-of-the-way garden, glass windows everywhere so the stars shine in. Not nearly enough light to see by, though, hence the cavalcade of candescence brought on by god only knows how many lights they've got in this place. Gotta simulate that sun somehow, I guess. 'course, if those lights go out, this place turns into a nice little out-of-the-way spot to dump bodies. Or sell drugs, as the case may be. If the Vice on this station wasn't a joke they'd be watching this place like hawks. As it is, this place is a shining example of this station's commitment to dicking around. These jokers could grow enough food to feed everyone in space for years but it's a rare day you'll walk in to find even one of them growing anything other than weed, if anything at all.
Chapel: For being one of the largest open areas on the station, this chapel is usually barren as my grandmother's teat. If there's ever a large group of people in here, odds are you don't wanna know what "God" they're here to worship. Way I understand, most NT personnel worship by way of the cult of the Almighty Dollar, and you better believe there's better places to obtain that kind of "grace" than this spooky-ass shack, Jack. Other than that, there's just the occasional group of nerds hanging out in the corner. Rumor has it there's a secret passageway in the back of this joint.
Disposals: Most of the station's trash comes through here. Supposed to be clean and efficient, which naturally means it's out of the way where nobody has to look at it - except the poor schmuck tasked with picking up the rest of the crap that doesn't make it into the chutes. Not too rare to see human garbage come through here, either; can't count how many assistants have gotten themselves caught in the crusher because they thought it'd be a hoot to take a ride on the tube loop - usually right after causing some big mess somewhere else on the station. Better keep a check on this place. Lot of evidence comes through here, too, and it's best to catch it before it gets turned into so many scraps of metal and blood stains.
Bar: The heart of the station. The sick, booze-drenched, vomit-encrusted heart of the station. Almost every new arrival comes through here on their way off the shuttle. Must be a hell of a first impression. If the bartender isn't back there cooking up any and every drug known and unknown to man, you can bet your ass it won't be long 'til someone's breaking into the bar to do it for him. You might manage to get a burger or two out of the chef, but even if they're working back there, chances are they've got jack shit from the botanists to work with until we figure out how to make decent food out of weed. Easy to find a fight around here, but better to leave those for the rent-a-cops to handle.
Jazz Lounge: Now this is more my speed. Nice, calm, quiet little spot, right around the corner from my office, and most of the freaks on this crew stay away, or they don't linger long. Good taste is hard to come by these days.
Research: The "Research" department. Supposedly the whole reason this floating bio-hazard exists. Ironically, it's one of the likeliest places to contribute to the swift and fiery end of that existence. If the fact that all the geeks in this place wear gas masks all the time wasn't reason enough to distrust them, the fact that they literally have official backing to build bombs and cook up god-knows-what in that chemistry lab sure as hell works against them. The artifact lab is less of a threat than the QM, but they're just as likely to set off some goddamn alien nuke as they are. It's the ones working in the teleporter lab that worry me most, though. There's a lot of shit out there in space. Some of it should fucking stay there.
Pod Bay: The pod hangar. If you ever need to jump ship, this is where you come; not to those duct-taped pieces of shit by escape. If you're lucky, you'll find a space ball that isn't locked. If you're unlucky, you'll find a damn crater from someone setting off all of the damn things in a chain explosion. If you've got particularly shitty luck, you'll run into whoever did it. Still, good to know your escape plans.
Information Room: God damn it, not these poseurs. The "information room" is supposed to be a place for intrepid journalists to gather intel on the station, and if they actually did any of that shit, I'd probably be out of a job. As it is, at best you'll get the occasional hipster or two looking to play panic-button-pusher and spread rumors. Still, the facilities are sound. Might be worth popping in to use them.
QM: Probably one of the most productive places on the whole station. The QMs handle all deliveries coming in and out of the station, so if you need something, you come to them. If they're feeling generous, they'll probably oblige you. If not, you'd best be willing to pay. Not a bad idea to keep checking up on them. If someone wants to order themselves a bunch of guns, going through the QMs is about the best way to do it. With or without their cooperation.
Engineering: The other heart of the station. The one that runs on fucking hellfire and the souls of a million char-broiled assistants. I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to; the combination of shifty-eyed wrench-jockeys, volatile gasses, and enough electrical power to vaporize the fucking universe is not one I want to be anywhere near.
Mining: So Mining's back on the main station, huh? Guess NT didn't want to pay their most profitable workers enough to have their own facilities anymore. Or maybe they just finally sucked all the ore out of the asteroid belt. Still, miners aren't the sort to stick around the station if they can help it. For better or worse, they're a space-bound lot, which pretty much just means that if they die, there ain't a chance in hell I'll be seeing the body any time soon.
That's all I've got for now. The ones for the office and medbay should still probably work alright, but I can't think of new ones for them right now anyway.
