Chaplain Traitor Item

[Frank_Stein]

DIY Lichdom Kit
This kit contains everything you need to turn yourself into an undying* monstrosity and no one will be any the wiser**. All you have to do is take the Automatic Phylacterizer, scan the item you wish it to become, and then press it against your chest to rip your heart and soul out to complete the process. Be sure to hide your unassuming*** phyalctery somewhere safe! As a lich death will be more like a quick nap**** so when a staff assistant comes along and toolboxes you all you have to do is wait a moment for the dread necromantic energies to reinvigorate your body so you can peel your battered corpse off the ground and get your revenge! Loose an arm or a leg? Just slap that sucker back on and it'll be good as new*****! Just make sure you don't get thrown in the gibber******!

* If your phylactery is destroyed so are you.
** Medical crew may notice the lack of heart if you are scanned.
*** The phylacteries are known to produce strange noises, such as the sound of a beating heart, farting, or the screams of the damned.
**** Length of time spent unconscious after being killed before being revived grows longer with each revival. Death by fire and being drained by changelings have been known to exacerbate this problem.
***** Clinical trials have shown that once killed, the body will decay as normal despite the necromantic energies animating it. A diet of embalming fluid is recommended to maintain a life-like appearance.
****** While the enzymatic reclaimer, gibber, and crusher will not truly kill you so long as your phylactery is intact they will reduce you to a pile of animated undead gore rendering you largely harmless.

All around awesome idea. I especially like the living gibs.

It would be kind of funny if Witch doctor was the doctor rampage item

That's not a bad idea, since they'd have ready access to corpses and the means to remove hearts.