Feedback Aleyn, MrFishStick and unknown mod, 1am GMT 28/10/2021.

[Susynoid0458]

Admin: MrFishStick, Aleyn, and an Unknown Mod in reverse chronological order, the unknown mod is appearing offline and the chat log is now gone, so I can't check.

Server: Discord.

Date + Time: 1am-2am GMT, 28th of October 2021.

Synopsis: At around midnight on the 27th, I was discussing self-antagging with people in RP chat. We were specifically discussing how asking to become an antag's thrall isn't okay (something I don't dispute, for the record), and why a person would WANT to become a thrall in RP. They weren't convincing me and as such, got angry and started insulting me. I was told by an admin to drop it at that point, so I did. 

About an hour later other people were having a seperate discussion about if changelings can be redeemed, or if antags can be redeemed, I chimed in with my opinion, someone said "no, there's no way a changeling can ever be redeemed" I said "sounds like racism to me" as a joke, which didn't land well. 

At this point an unknown admin took me into lets-chat, and warned me for bringing up the same argument twice. When I tried to explain how, 1. I didn't bring it up. 2. it was a completely seperate discussion, and 3. there was no argument the second time. they deflected with advice that didn't apply given the context. 

This went back and forth where I'd give my point, and they'd respond shortly after with a non-response basically saying "alright well don't do it again, okay?", and telling me not to make the racism joke, to which I agreed and said I wouldn't.

Aleyn then came in with a second opinion, which I'm thankful for, and once again said a bunch of unrelated things that didn't address any of my concerns, and gave me a bunch of advice which, granted, was good advice, but nothing I hadn't already taken into consideration. 

A third admin then came in, and when I asked him directly "where did I start an argument? there were several people insulting me, while I was asking them to stop." he said something along the lines of "Well, it's just an argument on the internet, and you have no stake, why not just leave?" That honestly worries me that the advice given, if I become targeted by hostility due to my opinion, is to leave. It creates an atmosphere where unpopular opinions are an excuse to bully someone. 

They then said that if I said I wouldn't make the racism joke, then it'd all be settled, I told him I already did that, and that it wouldn't be settled because I still don't know what I did wrong or how to improve, and he said "It's all done, we can go about our day", and kicked me out of the conversation. 

Logs: I don't have any, I was forced out before I could get them. 

Additional Info: I know it's my responsibility, but I had mentioned in the chat several times that I needed to go to bed and the admins effectively wasted 45 minutes of my time, and I couldn't leave out of fear of being banned. It's my responsibility to look after my own sleep schedule, but I can't help but feel a little coerced into staying up, under threat of banning, if I didn't stay to talk. 

I want to make it clear that I don't harbour any grudges against any of these admins, I just think they didn't explain things well, and weren't internalising anything I was saying because they just wanted me out of the way. I'm kind of afraid to speak in chat at all because if I say something people don't like, I worry I'll be pulled in and warned again for instigating arguments.

I'm not too confident I'll ever get an explenation, but I figured I'd post this just incase. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

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Sorry, I should have clarified that the third admin was mrfishstick.

[Leeanei]

I had no intention of keeping you up late.

[Flourish]

I was the "unknown mod".

I made it clear very early on in our conversation what I wanted from you, which was you acknowledging (1) not engaging in the same topic that had spawned an argument an hour earlier (2) not equating people not liking lings ingame to racism. You responded with sarcasm and said I was "making a mountain out of a molehill". After admitting that the racism thing was a joke that "didn't land well", you kept trying to deflect with "what about other people" and how you were being exclusively antagonized. You yourself asked for a second opinion, and then kept arguing when other admins shared their opinions. You were not coerced to keep on talking, and no one even ever mentioned bans.

Here's my understanding -

(1) You had just been warned an hour earlier for continuing to argue after other people had asked you, multiple times, to stop.
(2) The argument from an hour earlier concerned whether it's fine if a changeling eats someone who consents, which then devolved into an argument about consensual murder in real life.
(3) The second conversation also concerned changelings and whether they are monsters or can be redeemed.
(4) Saying "sounds like racism to me" when people are trying to explain why they consider changelings to be monsters, is inflammatory and offensive, and inflammatory and offensive comments have a high likelihood of causing arguments.

When people are warned and told to drop an argument, I expect them to be more mindful of their conversational habits and not almost get into a second argument about the same thing an hour later. In my opinion, your comment about racism would have caused yet another argument had I not pulled you into a different channel to talk.

When three different people (two of them upon your insistence of getting a second opinion) try to explain something to you, and you still don't understand what any of them really meant, I don't think it's an issue with people's explanations. I think it's an issue with your understanding. And while I would love to clarify your understanding, it is not my job and I have already spent enough time trying to do so.