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+--- Thread: I have changed... [Davidof9] (/showthread.php?tid=4530)
I have changed... [Davidof9] - Hobs - 04-11-2015
Hello, it was quite hard to get rid of the feeling that I will be punished badly if I mention my name in this community but its : davidof9 http://www.byond.com/members/davidof9. People might know me as a Griefer or a Liar but I always wanted to change and I always wanted to fit in with the rest in this community as I was punished so badly in this server I felt I couldn't return but the urge was strong so i had to return. I tried to come back but i was caught. I couldn't get rid of the urge of coming back so I give up on it for a while and went on youtube to watch PlumpHelmetPunk and YorpYorpYorp as their one of favorite people who have played on GOONStation. Every time I watched their videos it felt like home, memories use to come back in my head of the times when I use to hop on to the server and relax , play and feel like home, but the sad part was, I knew people did not enjoy me being on the server because of my past as they remember me trying to bypass bans and lie to Admins because i wanted to stay longer on the server as it was an amazing experience for me, as well as people felt nice here, no drama between people or abusive admins and unfairness to other people at least in my opinion .
I always felt the need to continually lie because I lied as a child when I got in trouble to slide out of it and it usually worked for me, grown up like that it was hard for me to get use to not getting out of it, but I still kept doing it as it saved me some time to keep me on the server. I though I could outsmart the system by just lying and I was wrong, I feel bad for openly lying to the staff. It might be the reason the community is so great and pure, that might be one of the reasons i lied because I wanted to keep my self clean from all the bad stuff I have done in the past and have a new start. I never was welcome after I got banned with davidof9 so I made up random names to keep as far from "Davidof9" as possible and lie about myself so people do not know about me in any kind of shape of form at all, to keep playing on the server. I had the need to lie to keep playing on the server, at least that was in my head and feeling like if I told the truth I would get in more trouble then if I didn't lie I always chose the "Liar Option" as I felt safe by trying to mask the truth, but I felt guilty inside when I did it. When ever I lied I felt the admins would fall for my tricks "but they didn't" so I wouldn't even admin PM or mentor help when I got back to the server because I had a feeling that I would get questioned and then I would have to lie again causing more harm to me and the situation I was in. I felt the freedom of getting away by lying but it was a silly idea of mine while I was 13~14.
It felt back becoming habitual liar as i would usually lie In-Game and it would harm me in the later life too, as the habits would fallow me until I felt changing myself as a person in whole. I realized it can ruin relation ships with people, friendship and I guess job interviews if you constantly lie they can find out and change their opinion on you completely, like they did with me. Lying is a really bad habit I had and i'm trying my best not to lie anymore for the reasons told in the text.
People start losing respect for you and think your just a waste of time if you lie, because they already expect you to lie more as you kept doing it over and over again. I lost quite a people by lying usually just on a website, I keep myself from not lying anymore, and I hope I can not return to the bad habit of mine. This might be one of the reasons I felt guilty when I came back to the server. I already had a big mark on my head reading "Liar" so I wanted to rub it off as hard as I could, but that might never happen if you don't get accepted back at all, they would have you embedded in their head as a Liar and nothing can be changed then as this is one of the reasons i am righting this down, to show that I have changed as a person, I want to be accepted back and ill try my best to keep it that way i hope you can understand me and keep it behind me, I don't want to carry my bad history behind me. I'm really sorry if I caused anything back in 2013~2014 with my huge amounts of lies but i understand the reasons lying is bad and i hope you understand it as well as i do now. It has been a great experience and but the lying always came back to me and reminded me i had to change something about myself and i can't keep going like this as i would be the worst person i know and it would be myself, i wouldn't be able to deal with myself as i am myself and i couldn't be the worst person to myself and because of that i had to think for a bit to understand the meaning behind this and dealing with my self as a liar and manning up and dealing with the problem on my own what i caused. I wish i can be welcome back to the wonderful community of the Space Station 13 [GoonStation].
I hope you understand me and keep a small amount of respect for me as i am just a human being that has messed up "big time" with his favorite community and people and i tried my best to explain the reasons behind me being a habitual liar and changing your life around.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - thehman03 - 04-11-2015
I want to say you've had more than enough chances, i want to tell you to fuck off.
I won't, you opened up and explained yourself, you're obviously getting the picture that what you did was insurmountably shit, so you know what, go ahead and play on spacemen, i can understand what you've done now, it's not pretty and i'm not saying you should ever do it again, but damn it, you've owned up to things, that's pretty god damn mature in my book.
My vote is keeping an eye on the guy and letting him play.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Conor12 - 04-11-2015
From what I've seen recently, he is trying to get involved in the community without causing trouble.
He has caused a lot of bother in the past. He lied a lot, it is hard to trust someone with a history like that.
However I think admitting that he is davidof9 and making this post definitely shows an effort to change and contribute.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - KikiMofo - 04-11-2015
Really here my issue has never been against David or anything. We all mess up and get in trouble with admins when we were new but it's been the constant ban evading and then lying to admins in ban appeals that makes me not want you back. Maybe you have changed, I don't know. It's not up to me to decide if you have changed really but I don't like liars so yeah. Just my opinion on it is It's been like a year since you originally got banned and in that year you ban evaded like 5 times that we know about and each of those keys got banned and then you try to get away with it in the ban appeals by lying. Just my two cents.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Darkchis - 04-11-2015
The fact he's making an effort and trying his best speaks a lot to me, even if I do think he was a massive shit before. Like Kiki said, maybe he got better, maybe not. I'd like to believe he did, as I saw him as Adam Jensen and he didn't strike me as a horrible person/player. I'd be up for him getting one last chance. If he fucks up, bye forever, if not, hooray.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - BaneOfGiygas - 04-11-2015
Wait, this guy was Adam Jensen?
I remember playing a few rounds with Adam Jensen, and even though my characteristically hazy memory prevents me from recalling any specifics, he most certainly did not strike me as a shitty person in the slightest. Nothing to write home about, but definitely not shit. I was not around during the time that this guy was originally around and got himself kicked in the head by the admins, but his newfound behavior definitely gives me the impression that a change has happened. Furthermore, as someone who used to be pretty shit (mainly before I even discovered this place) but was then able to wisen up and shed my skin of shit, I can believe that he's matured enough to be let back in.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Ed Venture - 04-11-2015
Evading the bans was shitty I know that and you know that but it is clear your trying to bury the hatchet. I've played security with Adam Jensen a couple times and he could take things too far he also had a hard time accepting when he was wrong, but in the case of this thread he is admitting what he did was wrong. Just like Kiki part of me once you gone forever. But I think you deserve ONE LAST CHANCE. Stop lying and stop breaking the rules and you should be fine. If fuck up again I doubt they will give another chance.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Xeram - 04-11-2015
I don't recall seeing Adam Jensen recently, but I do remember an Adam Jensen quite some time ago. No idea if they're the same person since its a Deus Ex reference but I don't remember em being shitty.
And the fact that you bothered to come back after all this, seemingly understanding what you did was wrong has me convinced you can come back and not be terrible.
(Didn't he have an mentor app yesterday though under another account? I swear to god I saw I mentor app for an Adam Jensen but the thread seems to have been adminned into the aether.)
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Hobs - 04-11-2015
Xeram Wrote:I don't recall seeing Adam Jensen recently, but I do remember an Adam Jensen quite some time ago. No idea if they're the same person since its a Deus Ex reference but I don't remember em being shitty.
And the fact that you bothered to come back after all this, seemingly understanding what you did was wrong has me convinced you can come back and not be terrible.
(Didn't he have an mentor app yesterday though under another account? I swear to god I saw I mentor app for an Adam Jensen but the thread seems to have been adminned into the aether.)
It was me who applied for Mentor yesterday i used the same account.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Spy_Guy - 04-11-2015
I'm of the opinion that actions speak louder than words. That said, good fucking heavens the shit you have gotten up to.
But from what I've seen here, in-game, you've been good and I wouldn't mind giving you another chance.
That said, I have two questions that I feel need to be covered.
First and foremost. You talk about being a habitual liar. Why, in your opinion, is this time different from the multitude of earlier appeals and attempts?
Finally, there's one thing I want to ask of you as a sign of honesty with us.
I want you to find all the keys you have used on this server and give us a list of them. You don't need to post this publically unless you feel like it, but you need to give a list to the admins. I know you're on IRC so you can PM one of us on there. Our automated ban system keeps excellent records, so we have a pretty good idea of what we're expecting.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - quiltyquilty - 04-11-2015
having seen adam jensen in game many times, i would NEVER guess him to have been anything other than a fantastic player! honestly, if we're taking votes from the community, i'd love to see this guy totally forgiven. i have no issues with him.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Hobs - 04-11-2015
Spy_Guy Wrote:I'm of the opinion that actions speak louder than words. That said, good fucking heavens the shit you have gotten up to.
But from what I've seen here, in-game, you've been good and I wouldn't mind giving you another chance.
That said, I have two questions that I feel need to be covered.
First and foremost. You talk about being a habitual liar. Why, in your opinion, is this time different from the multitude of earlier appeals and attempts?
Finally, there's one thing I want to ask of you as a sign of honesty with us.
I want you to find all the keys you have used on this server and give us a list of them. You don't need to post this publically unless you feel like it, but you need to give a list to the admins. I know you're on IRC so you can PM one of us on there. Our automated ban system keeps excellent records, so we have a pretty good idea of what we're expecting.
Wonkmin already had all the logs of my keys, i sadly can't find any more as i removed my file that contains all the keys from my computer. C:\Users\user\Documents\BYOND\key.txt it only contains 1 of my keys. (+ i haven't used the newer keys on forums at all except for this one)
Its different because they were unban appeals not a wide open sorry to everyone, I'm trying to clean myself up after the mess i left behind myself and change my attitude and habits i had. I feel like its my time to act more maturely and more with respect.
(!!! Sorry for a short reply !!!)
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Ali0en - 04-11-2015
He's had too many chances. He's blown them every time. He's evaded many times. People have been kicked out forever for far, far less. One last try. Any ban, kick him out again.
Also keep in mind I play Adam Jensen/Bensen when I record for trailers, so the good behavior is quite possibly me.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Hobs - 04-11-2015
Ali0en Wrote:He's had too many chances. He's blown them every time. He's evaded many times. People have been kicked out forever for far, far less. One last try. Any ban, kick him out again.
Also keep in mind I play Adam Jensen/Bensen when I record for trailers, so the good behavior is quite possibly me.
I have played the character straight 5~ days now, i don't know if they mean that, but i might change my name soon i guess or keep it on random.
Re: I have changed... [Davidof9] - Lost Generation SA - 04-11-2015
Well, your (many) previous bans are from before I started playing, and while experiencing your behaviour was probably much more frustrating than reading about it, I have not had any problems with Adam Jensen when I've seen them over the last few days. No extended interactions, but I'd be willing to wait longer to see if this is a permanent change. I'm pretty certain it was Hobs playing the Adam Jensen I met, rather than Ali0en, considering how differently they speak/type.