1st Granite, Overseer Ursula Major Wrote:Dear Queen Bothonmelbil,

I was very pleased with your assigning me to Gemwhirled in recognition of the noble efforts of my forefathers. I will not let you down.



Attached is a copy of the roster of able dwarves that have decided to accompany me:



Taking the advice of the exceptionally persuasive Bologna, I have decided NOT to take a managerial position, instead choosing to hew out the stone of our fair fortress in your name. All I had to do was get some sap to take on my leadership duties, and, lo, the poor bloke OFFERED to take the job from me!

Sincerely, Overseer Ursula Major

15th Granite, Overseer Ursula Major Wrote:Dear Queen Bothonmelbil,

TREES!



THEY'RE HUGE!



ELVES BE DAMNED!

Sincerely, UrsulaMajor

15th Slate, Overseer Ursula Major Wrote:Dear Queen Bothonmelbil,

Lavastage, *Phart, and I have hewn out the beginnings of what is sure to be a grand fortresss.



In the northern quarter, we have Bologna's Office next to the stockpiles, which he is already beginning to account. We struck a small vein of gold in so doing, and we have taken this as a good omen of things to come.

To the south we have the craftdwarves' worskshop, in which Bobert the Woodcrafter and *Phart the Mason/Miner are hard at work constructing the furniture we'll soon be needing.



A closeup of Bologna's Office (now furnished)

Sincerely, Overseer Ursula Major

15th Felsite, Overseer Ursula Major Wrote:Dear Queen Bothonmelbil,

Lavastage and I have hewn out the first few rows of the public dormitories.



We also carved out a small patch of dirt for the farmers to do their work.



Below the farm we've dug out the beginnings of a food storage area and a (very) small dining room to the north of that. Eventually we will provide far larger, but it is nearing summer and we will want a proper place to eat before fall.



Sincerely, Overseer Ursula Major

1st Hematite, Overseer Ursula Major Wrote:Dear Queen Bothonmelbil,







All is well.

Sincerely, Overseer Ursula Major

Quote:Ey mountain home-ish royal type Queen lady:

What the actual fuck did I do to earn this position? I'm nuttin' but a stone mason with no history in government, or if I'm being completely honest here, any form of actual responsibility at all! I seriously urge you to take a second look at your picking procedure, because in my experience picking names out of a hat is not the way to go about choosing who the hell gets to babysit the party-demons I call neighbours!

Nonetheless, I guess I should be telling you about what's been going on so far, right? If this letter takes a while to get back to you guys, I apologize. I seems nobody has half a clue lodged in the peanuts they call their brains about what the hell mail even is as a basic concept!

The very first thing I remember declaring in my reign of clueless dwarven politifuckery was... well... ohhhhhhh cripes I just remembered.



I'm not proud of it or have insight as to why I did it, but I did. I swear it was only like, three kitties tops! We tried to use up their leftovers, but it turns out we have no form of butchery or leather working establishment in this literal hole in the wall, and then they just sat around in the dark and rotted! Boy do dead cats stink, lemme tell you.



The elves came in shortly after that happened for some reason! Not that the broker cared or even noticed, he was getting hella fucking liver failurey at a table party of some form while this was going on, so I had to get off my ass and force a random mason to do it instead.



The beardless fucker didn't even know how to make a sale! Those elves sucked us out of around 400 Dwarfbux and still left with a tick on their mangy hemp-dusted mops! I think this was exactly when I realized how futile my job was to the T, which is as luck would have it, extremely fucking futile. On the not-entirely-nihlist side of things though, we still got a scrawny excuse of a lion out of it, which is like 20 cats by itself!



Oh, about then one of the idiots just birthed a idiot baby out right on the floor, I'm ashamed to have seen such a gross sight go unmentioned. Regardless, say hello to lil' Cogwerks, who I've taken to calling bongbaby. Get it? It's because he's a lil' slacker who'll grow up with no idea about decent ethics of either the work kind or the giving a shit about having a baby during such work kind.



While the newfound mother was still introducing the newborn to traditional crippling alcoholism, it's my luck that I heard a fuckton of assorted riffle-raffles outside my corner of the cave. It was a fucking delight, a bunch of squatters seemed to have barged in and claimed they're migrants from back in the mountains. Bullshit, what the hell sort of government sends families to a place without enough rooms to house the people already living there? Not you guys, right? Please tell me this wasn't actually you're idea.

Fuck.

If it was, I'd like you guys to all consider the following facts about this 'cozy fortress' I'm in charge of, if you would be so kind.

Firstly, I'd like to show you the biggest threat we've had so far, it took four of our most fearsome residents to dispatch with this certain danger!



Amazing.



How brave!



Wow, way to go dude. I can tell you should be trusted with firearms already!



I can't even praise this one in a sarcastic manner!

Next, might our amazing artistic accomplishments convince you about how 'great' a fort we truly are?



Here we have a piece of art one may find on our walls, an authentic Mc'derp it just so happens. Mc'derp thinks himself a god or something, good for him I guess?



We also have more obscure artists here, waiting to shock your senses with new and exciting experimental pieces. Take for example that of Conor here, who thinks the world is oh so very doomed, to the point that it is worth stealing an entire workshop and valuable supplies for a good half the week over it so he can really drive in how doomed people have been in the history of our civilization!



But why stop at the art? Why not address the fact that we just stumbled upon some form of deadly, fungus-filled cavern! A cavern which I would like to add is not only home to what I presume are gigantic deadly spiders, given the chittering I heard when I was collecting stone nearby, but ALSO a giant ass pit into the Earth's blazing angry molten core! Sorry kids, but for this fortress attraction, you're gonna need a parent's permission to get in!

In brief, my majestically bearded queen: Fuck this shit your highness. When my forced, unpaid year of micromanagement is over, I'll be damned if I'm not gonna try and revolt!

Crapfully yours, Overseer Asterisk the Phartful.

P.S. that being said we REALLY NEED AN ANVIL FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Please take this into consideration and thank you in advance!

damn iron-shelled bugger from the depths of hell.

thehman03 Wrote:Considering signing up for this, but first a few qustions.
1: does the dropbox come with everything needed to run the current DF gemwhirled is on.
2: am i allowed to make super rude things and levers that do mysterious things.
If these questions are answered then i will join this game.