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A clowns perspective on making a good Clown Hole - Printable Version

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A clowns perspective on making a good Clown Hole - EristheSlackWyrm - 04-05-2018

Hello! Tooty here with a clown mains guide to clown living spaces. I am here to tell you my opinion, as a clown main, what I think makes a good clown hole.

While I know the clown tents are supposed to be just some stuffy room hastily make shifted into a clown hole, there are two things I think every Clown Hole needs. A personality and a joke.

Let’s look at some examples

Destiny: https://i.gyazo.com/65a74006abe72dc90c43ff964a913d9f.png

Destiny, I feel, has a good clown tent. It’s a stuffy hole on the far right of the ship wing. It feels like an afterthought. It’s almost like the mapper had nearly finished the map and thought “oh shit what about the clown tent” and just picked the first spot that was sorta empty and called it a day. That is the clown tents personality.

The joke here  I feel is a bit tame, but present. It is near the crusher, trash disposal. The clown is trash. It is not much, but it is something. And subtle. I like it. And also the room isn’t 3x3.

Linemap: https://i.gyazo.com/637b8d38f2ffd24292639580066fc540.png

This is an amazing clown tent. As you can see here it has a good view from the outside, as if the clown is some sort of animal in a cage to gawk at. And also the clown tent is in the center of the station, and who wants to be the center of attention at all times? The clown! HONK!

And here’s a joke!  The clown has to do a space walk to get onto the station! That is hilarious! Tooty Approves.

Cog2. https://i.gyazo.com/6f02cca1d838bbaa5b59fbfaf1fcb9d9.png

I’d say this is a pretty decent clown tent. It feels very luxurious and cozy. It has a nice view to the solars. Does the clown deserve this? OF COURSE NOT! But every once in a while, even the clown should get to treat himself to a nice hole. What also gives this one personality is the captain punching bag. That is a nice hint at what kind of clown we are dealing with.

However I feel like the joke is a bit tame. The only one I can really think of is that he is outside the detectives office who can keep an eye on that suspicious clown. Overall decent and pretty.

Clarion: https://i.gyazo.com/c6085bc5d69d0d883869bfbd46356e08.png

This one I feel is a bit too luxurious and comfy. While I enjoy that it’s out of the way and kinda hidden, it is also too roomy and well lit. However it does get plus points for the captain punching bag and the nice bed covers.

And now. For the example of a bad clown hole. https://gyazo.com/e6edd2dae9eeabd336ceacc8b4380615
The dreaded 3x3. This is the worst type of clown hole in my opinion. Not because the clown deserves better, no absolutely not.  But because there is no joke at the expense of the clown. And there is no personality to it. Just 3x3 with the bare essentials and in maint.  It is quite, well. Boring and uninspired. And this 3x3 is also near arrivals

So what do I, Tooty, think a clown tent needs to be great?

The bare minimum is: Helium Tank, 1 or 2 tables for the clown trash. Shady Honk Merchant, crate of stuff. 1 tile to spawn on, 1 banana peel, either on the spawn tile or hidden under the door like on destiny. The bed is optional.

A joke that puts the clown at either a gameplay disadvantage (linemap spacewalk) or a lore disadvantage (destiny, same place as trash). Put it in a silly place. Make it a challenge to get in and out of. Have it spawn in complete darkness.

A personality: This one is more subtle. But the room needs to feel like a clown hole. Add some funneeh items or give it a weird shape. Make it so when you walk in there is a chance you get flavor text/sounds playing that make it feel either spooky or stupid. Maybe you cough due to spider webs and dirt. Or it smells bad. Or one of the floor tiles you step on makes a “honk” noise, as there is a hidden clown horn under the tile.

A funny location: My personal opinion is that the clown tent should be far away from arrivals and other spawn locations for Staff assistants. The clown has a lower rank than staff assistants and should therefore not be spawned together or even near them.

Next. Should a clown tent have the space carpet floor tile? Yes.. uh No? It depends. I think it fits the clown and it is very cute, but should not be used in large rooms as it makes it too luxurious and cozy. Be careful with carpets. Preferably in small rooms only.

Should a clown tent have a window? I would say Yes for the most part. Maybe a very tiny one into space.

Does the clown tent really need a banana peel inside it? YES! And it should even be hard to see! Hide it under something. Even as a clown main I almost always slip on the peel on destiny, and not even on purpose, I just always forget that it is hidden under the door.

Next up! Some ideas for clown tents I would love to see in the future.

Locations:
A tiny shuttle/ship that has attached itself to the hull of the station, leading into maintenance. Maybe a small clown themed space shuttle has flown up to the station, and attached itself like a male anglerfish does to its mate. The wall melted down and some clown wandered onboard. This has a massive amount of personality, as the clown is an intruder and not a part of the crew. He forced himself onboard. The station doesnt even accommodate a clown living room. Why would it, we are serious here at NT.

Smack down in the middle of another department. Imagine a clown tent that is in the middle of medbay. Very obstructive and in the way. It would lead into the main part of medbay so the clown could get out via the door buttons to med entrance, but not back inside without help or stolen access. Or what if the clown tent was in the brig. A solitary jail cell. With maybe a secret way out so that the clown can play in the round if no one joins sec to let him out.

More space walks or dangerous paths to get in and out of the clown tent. I think these are fantastic jokes for the clown to deal with to get to the station. He needs to EARN the right to prank the crew. A small challenge to prove his worth as a honker.

In the middle of belt hell. Like on Cog1. Imagine the risk of trying to get someplace and ending up on belthell towards some random department (or space) It's also well hidden and out of sight, wich most clown tents should be.



That is all I have for now. Honk. Please give me your ideas and stuff

Also I need help on formating this post better. Am bad at forums, writing posts and english plz help.


RE: A clowns perspective on making a good Clown Hole - warcrimes - 04-06-2018

coincidentally i just did a first clown hole today based on what i considder / expect a clownhole to be- and then you go makin this thread full of questions and big thinks and i need to re-think it i think i dont know im a tad baked what do you think mr


RE: A clowns perspective on making a good Clown Hole - EristheSlackWyrm - 04-06-2018

(04-06-2018, 05:49 PM)John Warcrimes Wrote: coincidentally i just did a first clown hole today based on what i considder / expect a clownhole to be- and then you go makin this thread full of questions and big thinks and i need to re-think it i think i dont know im a tad baked what do you think mr

Righto! lets have a look shall we. Hmm hmm. First its cozy and dirty. Since its small and cramped, the floor works really well. I like the fact you have given it a more triangle-ish shape instead of pure square. It feels like you are stuffed into a corner, forgotten or ignored. Out of sight, off the records. A makeshift home for the clown. Personality indeed, cozy and forgotten.

But wait... What is that i see? Is that the ... hot..loop?

IS THAT THE HOT LOOP WITH A PIPE GOING INTO THE CLOWN TENT? ARE YOU FOR REAL? That is dangerous! Its incredibly unsafe! It is hilarious!

Tooty Highly approves of this dangerous joke.

The fact that the engineers could incinerate a sleeping clown just by doing their job is really funny to me. I think the gas might leak if it is just a broken pipe, but if you'd put a valve where the broken pipe is instead it could work. By default off. But if some nasty person wanted to fuck up the clown tent, he easily can. Have the valve be outside the clown tent, so you can safely turn it on or off without burning to a funny crisp.

I can't say how you should improve it when it comes to shape, contents and such, as its 4am at the time of writing. But I think you definitely understand what the clown tent can be. And that joke.. hot loop INTO the clown tent. It is the funniest thing I have seen so far when it comes to clown harm. I do not know if the admins approve of this OSHA failure, but I definitely approve.


RE: A clowns perspective on making a good Clown Hole - Noah Buttes - 04-06-2018

As an engineer, that hot loop layout frightens me. I don't want to deal with rogue comedians while I'm busy trying to contain the fury of the stars themselves!


RE: A clowns perspective on making a good Clown Hole - warcrimes - 04-06-2018

(04-06-2018, 06:11 PM)EristheSlackWyrm Wrote:
(04-06-2018, 05:49 PM)John Warcrimes Wrote: coincidentally i just did a first clown hole today based on what i considder / expect a clownhole to be- and then you go makin this thread full of questions and big thinks and i need to re-think it i think i dont know im a tad baked what do you think mr

Righto! lets have a look shall we. Hmm hmm. First its cozy and dirty. Since its small and cramped, the floor works really well. I like the fact you have given it a more triangle-ish shape instead of pure square. It feels like you are stuffed into a corner, forgotten or ignored. Out of sight, off the records. A makeshift home for the clown. Personality indeed, cozy and forgotten.

But wait... What is that i see? Is that the ... hot..loop?

IS THAT THE HOT LOOP WITH A PIPE GOING INTO THE CLOWN TENT? ARE YOU FOR REAL? That is dangerous! Its incredibly unsafe! It is hilarious!

Tooty Highly approves of this dangerous joke.

The fact that the engineers could incinerate a sleeping clown just by doing their job is really funny to me. I think the gas might leak if it is just a broken pipe, but if you'd put a valve where the broken pipe is instead it could work. By default off. But if some nasty person wanted to fuck up the clown tent, he easily can. Have the valve be outside the clown tent, so you can safely turn it on or off without burning to a funny crisp.

I can't say how you should improve it when it comes to shape, contents and such, as its 4am at the time of writing. But I think you definitely understand what the clown tent can be. And that joke.. hot loop INTO the clown tent. It is the funniest thing I have seen so far when it comes to clown harm. I do not know if the admins approve of this OSHA failure, but I definitely approve.

Thanks for taking the time to review it, I really appreciate it! 

The "broken pipe" you're mentionning is actually an Oil decal that seems to draw above it in DM, so it is connected. 

It's not directly on the hot loop, it's on an auxiliary / takeoff that feeds the pool heater and the emergency radiator / cooldown loop- so there's an AUX valve inside engineering to enable it.  So if the engineers want to heat the pool, the clown can also elect to gas himself in celebration.

(04-06-2018, 06:54 PM)Noah Buttes Wrote: As an engineer, that hot loop layout frightens me. I don't want to deal with rogue comedians while I'm busy trying to contain the fury of the stars themselves!

think more like a tee-off from the sauna on Cog1, it doesnt directly interface with the engine. 
you can see it better on my mappin thread