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+--- Thread: Best moments ever thread 2.0 (/showthread.php?tid=8)
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Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Admiral jimbob - 05-01-2013
I was punished/griffed with a round as a retarded, imprisoned green alien. I nearly foiled a syndie plot by pushing someone down and trying to steal what turned out to be a multi-frequency headset, but the crew were trying to capture me and do horrible experiments on me, so fuck them. Eventually, I was imprisoned in crystal glass and Macho Man turned me into a statue.
The next round, I spawned as Captain, and Infinite Monkeys decided to make me... Palpatine! He granted me black robes, "force gloves" (black versions of the new engineer traitor gloves, to shoot lightning), a red lightsaber and a voice changer that made me Emperor Palpatine in name as well as fact. My objective was to "do evil shit I guess". I set out with the intention of declaring myself overlord and Emperor of the station, to terrorise the peasants with my stormtrooper/security army and blast those who disagreed with me into ash while screaming "POWER, UNLIMITED POWER". Of course, someone thought I was a wizard when I was dressing up, so I emerged to find the bridge full of security. The exchange went something like:
"Jesus, I'm your Captain, look"
"HE HAS A LIGHTSABER!"
"Of course I do I'm fucking Darth Sidious. I will be a fair master. This is my Death Star and my lightsaber will be saved for those syndicate rebel scum who threaten its integrity."
"LET'S KILL HIM"
A few electric zaps were responded to with a flurry of batons and tasers and I was warped into the HoS office. I tried to plead my case, and a few people did play along. An electrician came to the door of security offering to pay me tribute, so I screamed "YES, PEASANT, WITNESS MY POWER" and zapped him. I apologised, saying I was just getting used to how power gloves worked... then my brain farted or something and I killed him with my lightsaber, which was a bit pointlessly mean and probably lost me some sympathy, but I was annoyed by what happened on the bridge. I did immediately regret it, but there we go.
I met the detective at his office and he said he was behind my dark reign all the way, but couldn't say the same for the rest of sec. Sure enough, someone charged out of security, tased me while I was typing and bucklecuffed me in security. I was warped to the HoS' office once more, but this time sans lightsaber. I shocked a couple of my antagonists through the glass, but this being the start of the round, all I could do was stun them briefly.
IM then teleported me back out into the main sec area and I was promptly beaten to death with my own lightsaber.
RIP Darth Sidious. RIP fun. Killed by shit security and my own night-before-exam lack of ability to think on a level above "primal".
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Cogwerks - 05-01-2013
Security killing you for having a whole bunch of lethal traitor items doesn't really make them "shit security."
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Admiral jimbob - 05-01-2013
In that case, the Captain's room door should have been set to kill me instantly and save everyone the bother,
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Weavel - 05-02-2013
after setting the shuttle on fire post-round, this lovely sequence of speech happened
the cannabis leaf melts!
the cannabis leaf melts!
Pubbie Botanist (DEAD) says, "NO JESUS CHRIST NOT THE WEED"
the cannabis leaf melts!
Pubbie Botanist (DEAD) says, "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE MEANT TO SMOKE IT"
dude on fire says, "420 hotbox the shuttle"
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Tteckk - 05-02-2013
Discovering the 'fuck you I got a ton of glass and I know how to glitch it' fighting Technique. Or Fyigatogaikhtgi for short. If you lucky enough to knock me down you will feel the Jealousy and rage.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Xenonia - 05-03-2013
The story of THE HEIST
Starring:
Rafael Cox as The Locksmith
Walter Poehl as The Muscle
Sailor Dave as The Lookout
And Herb Garden as The Mastermind
It started like every other heist. Walter and Raf were to break into the Captain's Quarters, steal the money from the bank, disable the machine, and get out. Herb and Dave monitored them from the newsroom to prevent sec catching on when:
Man Jenkins was shocked by the Information Office!
Before we knew it, bodies were piling up while people screamed the AI was rogue. Herb and Dave, both quick thinkers, broke into the pod bay and stole a MiniPutt and an unarmed C-Pod. The two rendezvoused with Walter and Raf, who had the loot, and shuttled them off to the diner to spend the pay-out on items for the new pod. Unfortunately for our protagonists:
Walter Poehl hits Shifty D-5 with the 350 credits!
The trader was angry and his security systems online, so our heroes were in a bind. They came up with a plan for one last heist: to break in and disable the rogue AI. Surprisingly, Walter and Herb put aside their differences to take a pod to the AI core, which already had a hole in it. The two men went to work, destroying the windows around the core, and then approached the AI core, who in his last moments boldly proclaimed: "You cannot beat me to death!"
Guess what happened next.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - ThoseDernSquirrels - 05-03-2013
Herb being the nerd he is fails to beat the AI up and gets spaced by Walt, who slips and falls, landing on a now lethal turret.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Xenonia - 05-03-2013
Nah. The AI got beaten to death, then Walter got all his money stolen by someone else.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Conor12 - 05-03-2013
Weavel Wrote:after setting the shuttle on fire post-round, this lovely sequence of speech happened
the cannabis leaf melts!
the cannabis leaf melts!
Pubbie Botanist (DEAD) says, "NO JESUS CHRIST NOT THE WEED"
the cannabis leaf melts!
Pubbie Botanist (DEAD) says, "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE MEANT TO SMOKE IT"
dude on fire says, "420 hotbox the shuttle"
Ahaha, I remember doing this with a spray bottle when I left a trace amount of a certain chemical in it. The botanists cried over their whole round's work getting melted.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Conor12 - 05-03-2013
I haven't had the time to play recently. And I got an amusing start.
Join round. Get bitten by a monkey. Become a monkey. Head to the owlery because I'm a monkey and don't know what the fuck to do.
System Commonwealth Update
Good news!
Supplies to fight the monkey hoard have been teleported to The Owlery- oh fuck a monkey got to it first.
Rampage with my new robust multi-colour toy swords. For about five seconds. Then get told by admins they spawned real c-sabers after I left and died. I cried.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Darkchis - 05-03-2013
ThoseDernSquirrels Wrote:Herb being the nerd he is fails to beat the AI up and gets spaced by Walt, who slips and falls, landing on a now lethal turret.
That would have been pretty neat.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - ThoseDernSquirrels - 05-04-2013
Two traitor rounds in a row. First one:
Beat up the fully armored captain to death with just my fists
Disguise as captain
Go to bridge, find a roboticist hiding
He said he alerted security
Ah hell no
Laser his ass to death, shove him in my locker
Game lags and I open the locker so some guy on EVA sees it
Asks for a bribe
Shoot at him, he alerts the crew
Nobody gives two shits
Subvert the AI, then Atom asks if it'd be alright if he could do a funny joke, we all say yes
Suddenly teleported into mailchute at info office, get sucked through and lag our asses to death in bridge
Guy dies with microbomb implant, everyone is gibbed
Yadadayadda
Second traitor round, where I was given another run as traitor:
Detective, with detective partner Izahiah Murry
I defect to the syndicate and are given one objective
Meet up with Star Hoenshell and COMMIT CRIMES
Slap around Izahiah, give him some advice like "DON'T THINK, ACT" shit like that
Go to bar and monologue, waiting for Star
Meet up with him, decided to kick the captain's ass
Go over to office, guy flashes mah buddy
Pop some caps in his ass
Murry comes over, accuses of me being a loose cannon
He shoots at Star, shoot him three times with hollowpoint
He down
Scream "YOU FUCKING LOOSE CANNON MURRY"
Meanwhile station is being invaded by angry spesscattes
Go to bathroom with Star and spawn a shotgun and a radio jammer
Head to bridge and blow open the doors
Take out shotgun and start spraying the place
Scream "LOOSE GANNOOOOON!"
Literally one minute later
Izahiah Murry says,"I just realized something. Gannon rhymes with cannon.
Gannon Sullivan exclaims, "DAMN RIGHT!"
Decide to go out in blaze of glory at bar
Shoot up the place, kill the chef
Kill my partner as he screams with his dying breath, "LOOSE GANNON"
Kill Shameful Sam
Place gets flooded with sec and greyshirts, kill several of them, die
Pretty good round
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Birchwood - 05-05-2013
Quote:OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
OOC: _jesterk: MORE NEWS AT 11
OOC: StrudelMan: OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
OOC: Xeram: OOC: StrudelMan: OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
OOC: StrudelMan: too far, Xeram
OOC: Kavaloosh: aiden more like aids-en
OOC: Boggle Crunch: OOC: Xeram: OOC: StrudelMan: OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
OOC: Xeram: OOC: Boggle Crunch: OOC: Xeram: OOC: StrudelMan: OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
OOC: Bobkatze: OOC: Xeram: OOC: Boggle Crunch: OOC: Xeram: OOC: StrudelMan: OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
OOC: Ryyokku: OOC: Xeram: OOC: Boggle Crunch: OOC: Xeram: OOC: StrudelMan: OOC: _jesterk: OOC: Lifehole: aiden is a dick
![[Image: p.jpg]](http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/profile01/118/de712170cc2f4a2fa8c22a2b53c0c0b3/p.jpg)
Fuck you, Aiden James.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - ThoseDernSquirrels - 05-07-2013
Drank an entire vending machine stock of Discount Dan noodles.
Didn't even die.
Re: Best moments ever thread 2.0 - Zorafm - 05-07-2013
ThoseDernSquirrels Wrote:Drank an entire vending machine stock of Discount Dan noodles.
Didn't even die.
Pff, I've done the whole station's.